Community, Mental Health, Motivational

Old Habits that make you Unhappy

Marc and Angel always have incredibly profound words for me. I have abridged their content and distilled the essence of their words to the all important phrases and added some ideas from my own experiences. I hope these have meaning for you. They definitely have meaning for me.DSC_0142

Are your habits and routines sucking up your happiness?

Oftentimes we unknowingly hold on to little, obsessive habits that cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness.  Even when we feel that something is wrong, we fail to seek the changes we need to make and instead cling to what’s not working, simply because it’s what we’re accustomed to. It is familiarity, that makes us feel secure, whilst causing us unnecessary stress. It’s time to give up the habits that no longer serve your well-being and embrace the positive changes you need to be happy.

Today is the perfect day to give up…

The need to be busy.

Busyness is often confused with productivity.  They are two different things.  Busy is running in place on a treadmill; productivity is actually getting somewhere worthwhile.  These days technology gives us this constant feeling that there is so much to do and not enough time to do it We are always connected to something that wants our attention, or something that could be done.  This feeling creates stress.  The more behind you think you are, the more stressed out you are going to feel.

Stress is not good for you.  It makes it difficult to think, connect with others and it is associated with a plethora of physical ailments that lead to unhappiness.

Tip:  Stop trying to be busy.  Put first things first and give up the rest.  Organization, meditation, improved time management and efficiency and a change in perception are all ways to manage stress.  You must learn to let go.  Release the excess.  You were never able to do it all anyway.

Disorganization and laziness.

We complain that there are not enough hours in a day to accomplish all that we want, yet our laziness often leads us to many wasteful hours of disorganization.  The discipline it takes to sort through a messy desk, counter, closet or mind takes time.  Becoming organized is a habit.  Start with something small, like your office desk or even making your bed after you get up.

Tip:  Studies have shown that people who make their beds are statistically more productive, profitable and peaceful in their lives and careers.  Interesting, isn’t it?  But not surprising.

 Fear of… everything.

Fear is one of the biggest reasons why we don’t move ahead in our lives.  Fear of failing and fear of succeeding.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of fear.  As long as we are alive, we are prone to some level of fear.  Ironically, to feel alive we must overcome that fear with actionAs Bill Cosby once said, “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”

Tip:  Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that your happiness and growth is more important than it.  Do something every day that stretches your comfort zone and helps you face what your fear.

Something to ponder about today.

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8 thoughts on “Old Habits that make you Unhappy”

  1. You are so dead-on with this advice, esp re: fear. I was brought up by two people who feared EVERYTHING and it took me a long time to realize my fears where a learned response. When I really sat down and thought about it, I personally wasn’t afraid of 95% of the things I’d been “taught” to avoid. Boy was that ever a freeing realization! 🙂


    1. Brave of you to confront and defeat your fears, Karen, especially when you had been raised to see danger everywhere. It may be too personal a question, but do you think it caused an above normal level of anxiety in yourself? Many parents can be over – protective, especially these days. It is a fine line, but so necessary for all kids to know how and be confident in stepping out of their comfort zone. Thanks also, for commenting.


      1. Oh yes, it absolutely caused me ridiculous levels of anxiety, which in turn led me to decades of serious drug abuse. Although this may sound crazy, I felt by NOT being anxious I was somehow being disloyal to my parents. So glad, I’ve come to understand all this and am making a better second half of life for myself!
        Hey…was it you who asked me about Arne Dahl? If so, could you point me toward the post so I can put that comment in the proper spot?


        1. Firstly, yes it was me, Karen, who asked about Arne Dahl. Here is the post: <a href="

          Seondly, this feeling of loyalty to parents/others, is something that haunts many of us. I guess it is those experiences that are formed early in life, be they good or bad, that we feel somehow are part of us, and can even be comforting when they are painful. One does not need to feel loyal. It is, in many cases, totally ok to let go. It is a bit like the 'Stockholm Syndrome'{

          the length of time one is exposed to abuse/control or other negative experiences, the more you invest (income, job, home, time, effort, etc.) then, the stronger your need to justify your position. If we invest $5.00 in a raffle ticket, we justify losing with “I’ll get them next time”. If you invest everything you have, it requires an almost unreasoning belief and unusual attitude to support and justify that investment.
          Thanks so much for your brave comment.


  2. This whole subject should be the modern gospel. It is how I lead my own life… I remain fiercely committed to it, but oh my goodness so few folk ever emerge from the quagmire of fear; and while they remain in bondage actually respond with statements such as ‘its all right for you’. Yes it is, my friends, and it could also be for you too, if you just opened your eyes and woke up.


    1. The modern gospel: how cool would that be? I couldn’t agree more that we should learn these hints and life skills information, preferably at a young age. Everyone seems to be ‘stressed’ about something. It is an epidemic, yet if another is ‘chilled’ and open minded, they are considered a hippie/ alternate! Your lifestyle is the embodiment of stepping out of one’s comfort zone, at least from my perspective and for those that can also do this, the rewards are many. At some point, one has to realize that there is only one chance at this life, so live in the present and not in your ‘headspace’ and make the most of it. It will be uncomfortable and painful at times, but also fun and spontaneous. Challenges make us all stronger or wiser, or both.


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