The Daily Post – NOT FOR THEE

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received that you wouldn’t give to anyone else? Why don’t you think it would apply to others?
Not for Thee

Imagine a shopping centre, there stands a mother with a wailing two year old, legs thrashing, loosing control, in the midst of a tantrum. What do the onlookers say?

In any regular shopping centre, you might hear whispers of :

he just needs a good smack” or

“Why don’t they control their child?

or even,

“They should never allow them into this place, when they are like that!”

Cruel unhelpful judgments and advice.

Then again you might find a shy, clinging child, refusing to participate in some activity, hiding behind his mother’s skirt:

“I would not put up with that”

“She lets him/her get away with too much,”

“He is so spoiled”

or,

“She is just shy”

While the Mother is desperately trying to placate her child and gently encourage him to participate, a wise elderly lady leans over and whispers in her ear, ” don’t mind them, he will fly when he is ready.

I have heard many pieces of advice in the past, and given out just as many, at least in my younger years. I now realise most people don’t want advice, they merely want to vent their feelings, be it anger or frustration, or a cry for help. And in venting they are going through a process of working out what is best for them. A kind of self-evaluation and problem- solving.

The elderly lady abovementioned was letting Mum know it was okay, that things will work out in time,  and focused on the child rather than the parent’s actions. This child later turned out to have a diagnosis of autism…….

If one continues to espouse the virtues of how you see another’s life and way forward, you will most likely suffer some kind of consequence. (ooh, that is getting very close to sounding like more advice: “Just take my advice: don’t give out advice!!”)

And this is why I don’t give out advice to others, any longer.

But there is just one more piece of advice I can’t resist telling you:

Follow your gut instinct!

Not for Thee

Something to Ponder About

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About Forestwoodfolk

Scandinavian culture, literature and traditions are close to my heart, even though I am Australian. I have Scandinavian, Frisian and Prussian/Silesian ancestry and for that reason, I feel a connection with that part of the world. I am an avid Nordic Crime fiction reader, and enjoy photography, writing and a variety of cooking and crafts, and traditional decorative art forms. Politically aware and egalitarian by nature, I have a strong environmental bent.
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8 Responses to The Daily Post – NOT FOR THEE

  1. cocoaupnorth says:

    “most people don’t want advice, they merely want to vent their feelings, be it anger or frustration, or a cry for help”, very true. And sometimes some of those who do ask for advice, don’t take it kindly if such advice doesn’t conform to their way of thinking.

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    • Reminds me of the saying, “The truth hurts” We surely cannot walk in another person’ shoes, but we often feel like we know what is good for them. This urge to fix problems, to make things right, must also be a way to lessen our own discomfort at hearing of the complainant’s discomfort? Or am I over-analysing this, Cocoa?

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  2. nowathome says:

    Very true Amanda!! When asked for advice, then give it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. scrapydo says:

    It is so easy to “criticize” advice others, never thinking how it hurts! I also rather say nothing than giving a piece of my mind.

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  4. I have been judged about the behaviour of my children and it hurt. My children were both under 3 at the time and we had to wait for over an hour with only a few toys to entertain them. (It was a gynaecologist surgery). The other, elderly woman were not tolerant about how my children were playing. I was a foreigner which didn’t help. I always think of the scripture John 8:7 “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to through a stone at her”. We shouldn’t be so quick to judge others. 😀

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