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Five Minute Free Writing – Day 9

31 Days challenge is to write freely for five minutes without editing – on the topics listed on the landing page – one topic each day for 31 days. I have called mine –

Trust –

Five letters that must be gradually nurtured lest [it] they  be broken.

I read somewhere on social media today that betraying someone’s trust is like crumpling a piece of paper. You may iron out the wrinkles but some of them still remain. I think this is a valid comment, at least in my world. The hurt and resentment that comes with a breach of trust is hard to forget. We can forgive but we can’t always forget.  The wounds run that deep. Particularly when it is someone near and dear to us that is the betrayer! And it hurts! So painful is the feeling of disbelief  and shock that this has happened.

Trust is overlaid with many expectations. Trusting someone and learning when to trust and when not to trust, is entrenched with your own individual values.

“I trusted you,” we often hear when someone lets us down.

I know people with trust issues. They trust no one, which leaves them vulnerable to constantly checking that everyone, including themselves, have acted correctly. Kind of obsessive, you think? How exhausted they would feel, wrung out almost?

Considering all the possibilities and potential for human interaction, in the world, it is surprising that we can trust any other human at all. Why would you trust the skills of a complete stranger to give you a lift/ street directions? Why would you entrust your child to the care of a babysitter?

Because generally we can say that people are inherently good and not malevolent.

Trust me.

Something to Ponder About

More topics in this challenge here

23 thoughts on “Five Minute Free Writing – Day 9”

  1. It is very hard to trust! I’m one of those people who have been hurt so many times, it’s hard to trust anyone. Your words “They trust no one, which leaves them vulnerable to constantly checking that everyone, including themselves, have acted correctly. Kind of obsessive, you think? How exhausted they would feel, wrung out almost?” resonated with me. I don’t think I’m constantly checking that everyone’s acted correctly but I do that too often. I need to let go. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder. Though I would disagree with you on the “people are inherently good” part. Only God is.

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    1. Firstly, thanks so much for your comment, and being bold enough to discuss it here! Excellent! You are so correct that you need to let go of all those feelings that things must be perfect, and that seems to be the impetus (for some people), in not trusting others. Because people are, by nature, far from perfect, aren’t they? So, in a logical way, it make sense that they can’t be trusted. However, I do disagree that people are inherently good. And of course it depends on what we define as “good” – but I think if people were inherently “bad” – we would have utter chaos. And furthermore, some societies have much more crime than the one I live it. The level of crime and poverty/wealth also affects how “good” people are. If simply, surviving is a day to day struggle, being inherently good might become irrelevant. What do you think?

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      1. I wonder if you see how you contradicted yourself there: “people are inherently good” and “people are, by nature, far from perfect”. Being far from perfect would illustrate that they are not inherently good. Why don’t we live in utter chaos? Because God, in His providence, restrains the evil hearts of man. 🙂 We could probably get into a very in-depth discussion about this but blog comments are probably not the best forum for such a discussion. 🙂 Sorry that the link I provided didn’t bring you to my current 31 day challenge. It could be because you went to my WordPress blog and I haven’t blogged there for quite some time – I use blogger now. 🙂 This one should work for you: http://sahmlifeasiknowit.blogspot.ca

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  2. Well written Amanda and so very true. I also find it very hard to just trust anyone, but I do like to believe that everyone has some good in them, until they prove otherwise. Some people are just pure evil. It doesn’t mean that I am going to make myself vulnerable to everyone I meet. Like we always say in Afrikaans: ‘Kyk die kat uit die boom’ (check the cat out in the tree). 😆

    It truly hurts when you’ve trusted someone by being yourself and they then turn around and use who you are against you. To people like that it doesn’t matter how kind and loving you are. They will always find a way to bring you down. It’s difficult to ever trust them again and once someone has done that to me, I will be friendly to them but won’t go out of my to associate with them.

    Some people were just born evil but I don’t like to think of that. There’s enough proof of that in this world of ours today. Guess that is why I do love animals and nature more. 😀

    Thanks for sharing your lovely writing. I really do enjoy it. ♥

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    1. Mistake: ‘I will be friendly to them but won’t go out of my to associate with them.’ – just add ‘way’ after my, please. LOL!

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      1. hahahah! Me too and that must be why I missed it when I checked it before posting and even afterwards I saw the mistake. LOL! The brain is so funny sometimes. Thanks for understanding Amanda. 😀 ♥

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    2. Thanks for your oh so verysweet comment, Sonel. I love the Cat in the tree saying. If I may, I would like to use that in one of my Proverbial Thursday posts where I post proverbs and sayings from around the world? Would you mind? I can link to your blog as the source. As for the trust issues, I can well understand that it is difficult to trust again once someone has betrayed you. I am wary with my trust and if betrayed, it has gone forever, in most cases. You must have felt completely deceived by this person who not only betrayed your trust but twisted it against you. As for people who are truly evil, the only way I can reconcile their actions in my head is to believe that there will be a reckoning, and hope that karma will take care of them. Animals and nature are for sure more loving but there are also instances of pack bullying, selecting the weak and a lack of tolerance in some species for defects (disability) in some parts of the animal world. I guess the laws in nature may be a little harsh but are much more consistent than human law. I feel so lucky to have readers like yourself and some others who frequently comment here. We may never have met, but the support given is a measure of their kindness as people. Thanks so much!

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      1. Oh, you are more than welcome Amanda and no need to link back at all. It just popped into my head and only because of your lovely post. 😀

        Same here and well, it happened quite a few times, hence the reason why I prefer not to have any friends here where we live. I keep to myself and do my own thing and that’s the way I like it. 😀

        I like to believe that as well and they sure are. Yes, nature can be cruel sometimes but because it’s so tough out there I can understand why the weak is put out. They won’t survive it in any case. I agree to the consistency. Much better than the human law for sure. 😀

        I feel the same Amanda. It’s readers like you and others that do make a difference for sure. Thank you as well. You are just as appreciated. 😀 ♥

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      2. I am sad that you have not found a kindred spirit in your area, Sonel. Perhaps in time you may? You are correct about the natural law, and I like the thought that they would not have survived anyway. They have to rely on survival of the fittest to continue their species, so it is important to keep the bloodlines strong. Mankind appears to be getting weaker, physically with the advent of cars, strollers and time saving machines, but then it is the difference between us and animals that we also have a respect for others less able than ourselves. It is more complicated for humans, less clear cut. Thank you for your kind comments and so sweet of you to continue the conversation. It has been delightful to chat with you again. ❤

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      3. Oh no, don’t Amanda. That is the way I prefer it. I have my hubby, my sons and my furry kids and don’t need much in life to make my happy. 😀

        Exactly. Nature can be harsh and so are life and yes, it is important for the strongest to survive for the next generation. 😀

        Very interesting observation sweetie and very true. Most of us are becoming too lazy and spoiled and most won’t survive the Zombie Apocalypse, if something like that should happen.

        Always a pleasure Amanda and the same here. I do love to chat with you as well. Thank you too. 😀 ♥

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  3. Well written. I like the way you analyse the different aspects of trust, and your ending is excellent. I believe that people are inherently good – at the start of life. It’s what happens to a few unfortunate ones post-birth that makes them malevolent. Which makes it hard to trust everybody.

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    1. Oh that is quite true that we all start out good but then this theory denies the role of genetics in how good we are. There have been some interesting studies that relate to nature versus nurture. Nature comes out as more influential in forming personality behaviour and values than the environment one grows up in. Thanks for your comments, Millie

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