Weekly Proverb –
On Rejection or Abandonment
“A false friend’s tongue is sharper than a knife.” – Argentine Proverb
How many times do we voice our disagreement with the boss, our friends or with our family? Do we hold back on arguing, and avoid it at all cost for fear of rejection? Or, do we feel able to voice it, but only in an environment where we can be certain of our own security and status?
When it comes down to it – who can really agree with everyone, anyways? Do you know of someone who can? I don’t.
We might fear being rejected or even abandoned and sometimes compensate in order to overtly agree with someone else’s opinion, even if it is contrary to ours!!
Why do we do this? Is it due to politeness, insecurity, or fear of negative judgement?
“I think that every new person I meet, will automatically like me.”
If you firmly believe this, you will most likely suffer with a lot of rejection and disappointment in life. Just ask yourself: Do you like every person that you meet? It is natural to be drawn to some folk, more than others.
Alle fuglar er ikkje haukar (somme er berre gaukar)
” All birds cannot be hawks (some are just cuckoos). “
– Scandinavian saying
Everyone experiences some kind of rejection in their life. It is impossible to eradicate all rejection completely, and as much as folks think they understand that not everyone, is going to love or accept you, rejection is still difficult for most of us, to hear.
Acceptance that rejection is just another normal facet of life, is preferable.
Perhaps we should keep the following saying in mind:
Ivar Aasen, the father of New Norwegian language, summed it up succinctly:
Til lågs åt alle kan ingen gjera – “No one can please everyone”
Weekly Quote- Confucius
Finally, Confucius gets right to the point, bringing a dose of reality with his advice on our deep seated fears:
“When you have faults,
do not fear to abandon them
― Confucius
Proverbial Thursday
Several years ago, I created ‘Proverbial Thursday’ on my blog, which quickly morphed into Proverbial Friday. Now due to a new Photographic Blog Challenge commencing soon on Fridays, I have created Sunday Sayings.
Sunday Sayings give more time for deeper contemplation on the words and serious discussion on their deeper, sometimes metaphorical, meanings.
Mostly anonymous, sayings come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned.
Do you have thoughts on handling rejection?
Did you find anything worked well for you in dealing with rejection?
I invite you to join in the discussion by leaving a comment on the sayings from this week
Something to Ponder About 
You certainly can’t please everyone. You’ll go crazy trying.
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Absolutely, Peggy. It can be so draininge trying to make everyone happy. We are all so different!
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This is a Biggie. Source of much luggage which we drag around with us!
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Indeed, rejection can be a burden for some of us. I used to carry it for a long time, but getting older made me realize it was rarely intended to be malicious, but rather I was not a right “fit” for that person, at that specific time in their life journey. This aided in distancing myself from taking it as a personal insult. How do/did you deal with the so called baggage, Ju-Lyn?
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Time is a great healer for me, Amanda. What seemed to be so dire & hurtful has ceased to be with the passing of years. Maybe some perspective on my part has helped as well.
I like the way you approach this – not being the right “fit” as opposed to be “not good enough”.
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Thank you Julyn. I think it is important to give yourself time to heal. Time to process and then move on.
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‘One has to take everything with a grain of salt’. I like that one. It is a bit of an escape when things become a bit controversial or tense.
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It is certainly a good strategy to take it with a grain of salt – to make the comment palatable. We also should take a lesson from the duck’s feathers, Gerard! – from the saying: “Water off a duck’s back.” These saying help to not take to heart the comment with the literal meanings, merely the intent behind the comment?
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I am way, way, behind here and everywhere so please bear with me.
“A false friend’s tongue is sharper than a knife.” – I think we’ve all had someone like that in our life. I think that’s where the term, “stabbed in the back” came about. The words are deadly when they come from someone you think of as a friend.
” All birds cannot be hawks (some are just cuckoos). “ This one made me laugh out loud. Don’t we all have friends that have different reasons for being in our lives? Some to make us laugh, some to keep us honest and humble, some to inspire and some to push us out of our comfort zone. Each bird has a purpose. Cuckoos entertain. 😉
“No one can please everyone” Who would want to? That can and has been so exhausting it’s just not worth trying. When you try to please others, it’s usually at your own expense. Now I please myself and if anyone wants to ride on my train, there’s always room for one more. 😉
“When you have faults. do not fear to abandon them.” Who doesn’t have faults but the trick is to recognize them in yourself and possibly address them. My sister teaches this by bad example. She can be mean and pushy and just says that’s how she is. She’s not going to change. I call her on it all the time but she really doesn’t care. I tend to be more introspective but am so willing to abandon my faults. They take daily work.
Hope your Christmas was happy and your new year bringing new vision. I like the changes.
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Happy New Year, Marlene. So far mine has been exciting and positive!!
New vision? Yes I certainly hope so.
Good on you for calling out your sister. Perhaps reminding is something that she needs to hear and ultimately may decide that sort of behavior doesn’t serve her interests or anyone else’s? Her journey may be longer than yours! And she IS teaching others who see what she, herself, cannot see. That is her gift to others! When we recognize our own faults, we are more than halfway along the way to abandoning them.
Friends offer different experiences with their individual personalities. The bird metaphor is an excellent example of this. We don’t have to approve of their lifestyle choices or values, but can still appreciate what their friendship might offer us. Folks change through the years and friendships can change format, die, or be rekindled. When I read the ‘All birds’ saying, I thought how about much we try to be the best in our field, but not all of us can, or aren’t. We cannot always overachieve.
Friends’ hurtful words have a stinging barb that remains for some time, unless you remove the barb and take their words with a grain of salt, rationalizing that it had no malicious intent but merely an expression of their heart and mood at the time.
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I’ve been thinking about these things a lot lately since I have a new boss! I keep wondering WHY I feel like I want his approval and praise, like a little child, for doing a good job? Those proverbs you have here are wise ones! I should take note! 🙂
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Thank you for your comment Snow! I am very glad to hear that you can apply the sayings to aid in some way with real-life situations! I am very sure the authors of the sayings used them in such a way. Workplaces place people of all personalities together, without rhyme or reason, and it can be a challenge! And you don’t have to like any cuckoos!!!! Lol!!
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Everyone wants acceptance but we’re all different and need to accept it as we accept our own differences. Nicely written…
Isadora 😎
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Thanks ever so much, Isadora. That is a good point that you raise. Accepting the differences in ourselves is just as important as accepting others for their differences.
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