Definition of an Ally:
– to combine or unite a resource or commodity with (another) for mutual benefit.
Allies or Friends can come in many forms. They might support you at the end of the phone, in person, or just by you knowing that they have your back. They make life easier and more pleasant.
You don’t need an abundance of allies, even one or two makes life bearable. Maybe your best ally could be your own self.
Today’s Sunday Sayings focuses on Allies.
Weekly proverb
“Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief” -Swedish Proverb
Weekly Quotes
“Friends ask you questions; enemies question you.” Criss Jami, (Healology)
“Dude. Every mom is the most annoying human in the universe, but most of them, besides the super-abusive genuinely bad ones, are in your corner.”
― Mary H.K. Choi
Who is your ally?
How do they support you?
Everyone’s opinion is important. What do you have to say?
Something to Ponder About
Several years ago, I became fascinated with traditional proverbs and
sayings, their metaphorical layers and the many different
interpretations found within those succinct few words. I marveled at
their ability to transcend race, religion, opinions and age.
Mostly anonymous, they are a portal through time to generations past and
echo a diverse range of cultures, and the experiences of many lessons
learned and the wisdom from thousands of lives already lived.
They
offer us knowledge; knowledge that is passed to us in much the same way
relay runners might pass a baton. Once it’s handed over, it is up to us
what we do with it and how we pass it on.
Something to Ponder About 
I wish some of the in between generation could relate to Mary H k Choi’s quote. So many of my 60 something friends have problems with their children. Nice people, but the children (now with children of their own) seem intolerant of mistakes made while they were being parented. Some friends have their grand parenting governed by rediculous sets of rules. One of my friends has to make appointments to see her grandson, and the cuddle time is strictly governed by the clock, and no kisses are allowed. Some of my friends are heart broken with, at best, the superficial relationship they have with their grown up children, and some have no relationship at all. To my knowledge none have been seriously bad, or abusive as parents, or grand parents, but they lack perfection, and perfection seems to be the requirement. Really sad!
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These children have grown up in a time of plenty. Media shoves perfection down everyone’s throats overtly or covertly as the implied ultimate goal. Psychologists are all to quick to blame the parent as the source for some mental health issues that have been triggered by society/drug use or abuse. The younger generation are judging their parents by today’s standards when perhaps they should use the standard of the parents’ own time for comparison. Insecurity and control are behind many fears. The children fear that their parents’ now outdated child rearing styles might rub off on their own children. Children these days are considered so precious that we have inadvertently created some kids who grow to be petulant adults. Adults who might never know contentment, only ambition and moderate unhappiness. Relationships always take a lot of work on both sides. Expectations may be rife on both sides. Children might expect their parents to be always supportive when parents might contrastingly see their role as advisory or even critical of their kids, when it is for the best. Most parents do their best; not many intentionally set out to make their kids’ life a misery. Timed cuddles sounds very bizarre.
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Oh Amanda, how right you are – sad though isn’t it.m
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Acceptance and respect is one thing that could heal so many wounds. So little could achieve so much more……
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Chris, I’m counting my blessings here reading your comment. Oh my goodness.
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Enjoyed reading these Sunday Sayings Amanda! Hope you had a good weekend. Marion
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Thank you, Marion. Who would you consider your best ally to be?
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Definitely my husband and sons, Life wouldn’t be the same without them Amanda!
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Ah. Our immediate family. They are often the only ones we can really count on. There is so much expectation on extended family that many of us feel let down. Our close family are there for the highs and lows. We need that. We need allies. Thanks for your comment, Marion.
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I’m sending the mom one to my children. Thanks.
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So glad you like it, Peggy. Are your children as interested in quotes and sayings, as you are?
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I don’t think they seek out quotes, but I can’t resist sharing some with them.
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It doesn’t have to be an obvious presentation of such writings to them. Even a randomn text message can reach the sub-conscious at a later date, hey Peggy? Good on you.
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Thank you for sharing, and for passing it along.. 🙂 We all need an Allies in our lives. ❤
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Indeed, Sue. It seems that these days, they are more important than ever, no matter how independent we project ourselves to be.
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So true, we all need friends and people we can rely upon.. Especially in today’s climate.
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Why yes, we can bring climate issues into that discussion. If nations would be more collaborative we might see a radical improvement in those very serious issues. Is that the climate you meant, Sue?
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It can be interpreted any which way.. The climate of the worlds population needs more trust and Unity. and respect. The Climate ie Nature needs more respect.. Both in need of Allies..
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I couldn’t agree more, in both senses. The quotes are useful reminders for me.
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🙂
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These are all good quotes, Amanda. The first one about doubling your joy and halving your grief is so true. The second about friends and enemies is about par for the course. As for mother’s being annoying, it’s our job. I’m still an annoying mom to my 46 year old daughter. I laugh everytime she has to say I was right. It happens way too often but she always smiles when she says it. She knows I never say anything unless I’m absolutely sure. We laugh a lot about things. I was annoying when she was young too but she knew I was always there for her no matter what. My kids always have my back and I theirs. Mom just didn’t quite get there but in the end, we were friends and I took very good care of her till the end. Couldn’t do it any other way. I don’t have many friends. I’ve moved too much but I know the friends I have can be counted on. Even blogging friends step up to help each other here. It’s impressive. Hope things are progressing well for you. I’ll try and get caught up this next week. Whee! It’s been a wild ride. 🙂
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Thanks, Marlene. You really must have been a wonderful and dutiful daughter, to be there for your Mum even though she wasn’t there for you. I have a similar situation, and whilst I am there when my aging parents need me, I draw the line sometimes when it is better that they still do things for themselves. It would be very easy for them to sit back and let me deliver meals to them – even though they live an hour’s drive away. They wanted me to do that at one stage, but I encouraged them to get a meal service part of the week, and could occasionally. I can fill the gaps here and there. If they become too reliant, they have nothing else to occupy themselves with during the day, which for them leads to a bit of boredom and negativity. If they were incapable, there would be no discussion, but whilst they have skills, it is better to use them. Use them or lose them…. as they say. Anyways, it is always lovely to hear about the great relationship you have with your kids, given that some younger ones don’t – as you can see in Chris Riley’s comment. Bloggers are by and large, really positive people who support with words when they live too far away. It is a really special community here on wordpress. I think we are so lucky to have found us all!
Enjoy that roller coaster ride!
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On allies. It’s important to realise that the allies may change with time and not get to fixed on any one person always being there. Friends are there for a time, a season and reason. And so are allies.
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That is an excellent point to remember, Anitaelise. I am so glad you brought it up. It weighs into expectations we have of friends and family. People change over time, drift away or get closer. We are all on a journey that may not take the same path forward. I have had really close friends that suddenly leave when their husbands get a posting, and years later when they returned, we both expected to take up from where we left off, but we had both changed over the 20 years they had been away. It is still a friendship but not one that is that close anymore. So many people come and go in our lives, expectations from friendship is bound to lead to disappointments. Better to go with the flow and enjoy the bonuses if and when they come along.
This does not mean we can’t ask for help along the way when we need it, but it is far better not to expect that from friends or family unless we want to invite disappointment. Thanks for bringing up the point. “Friends are there for a season and a reason.” I suppose some folks may think that is a tad cynical. I am sure you didn’t mean it in a cynical sense, Anitaelise?
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Hi Forestwood, I meant it in a realistic way. We all have to learn to live without expectations at some level, in order that our relationships remain genuine. Here’s a poem about my learning https://anitaelise.com/2018/03/12/my-friend-for-a-reason/
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I thought so Anitaelise. It is hard to eradicate expectations but if we are aware that expectations are often unrealistic, they are easier to dismiss. I will go check out your poem! Thanks!
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Great post, Amanda. I’m thankful to have great relationship with my grown daughter and a wonderful relationship with my 19 months old granddaughter. I’ll be watching my granddaughter for 10 days while my daughter and her hubby going on vacation.
My husband and I enjoyed our trip to east coast of Australia from Sydney to Cape Tribulations. He went diving at Great Barrier Reef.
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Close Family are everything when your family is small, hey Miriam? Especially the wee grandchildren. And wow, a long trip, in terms of distance, you had here. Diving on the reef would have been lovely. Didn’t you dive as well?
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I didn’t dive, Amanda, I went snorkeling!
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Snorkelling would be fun too!
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Exactly, Amanda! We may go again soon and visit New Zealand also.
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That makes sense. NZ is beautiful especially the South Island. I loved the Tekapo Mt Cook region. In some ways it is similar to Norway
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Such beautiful quotes and thoughts! Yes, friends are so important for a good life. Sometimes your own parents, spouse and children don’t understand you, but friends listen to you without judging you.
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A good point Renuka. Parents love us dearly but their reality is often different to ours. The generation gap means they offer have a different perspective to ours. Friends are often impartial, or when they do pass judgement, do so with our best interests at heart. Telling us sometimes what family can’t bear to say.
Thanks for contributing to the discussion.
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I have always been interested in proverbs and quotes, so thank you for taking this up, Forestwood 🙂
There is much of wisdom in them, and much insight into both people and culture.
May I offer a couple as well?
First, an eternal truth of all that we are and do. Contemplating it fills me with sadness, and yet … beyond the night there will be a new dawn:
“All that is fair must fade…”
And second, a proverb which I find invaluable in understanding, well, almost anything in history and politics:
“Cui Bono?” — Who stands to gain?
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I can see the relevance to political happenings in the second quote you offered in your comment, Northern Dragon. (And please call me Amanda; the other bloggers do). It is always in politics and business: who stands to gain?
I do like the way you poetically wrote about the first quote. It is indeed sad to read, as the ending of something means we can no longer enjoy it in a visual/physical sense, it is final and complete. Yet, endings as you rightly pointed out, do usually also mean a new dawn – beginnings and new life. Life never stands still, so moments in our lives, are to be enjoyed, for much longer as memories, than as events in real time. Yet it in the here and now, where life really exists. Memories and the future are simply constructs of our mind, accurate, inaccurate, or somewhere in between.
I am so glad to hear that you are a fan of proverbs and quotes and as you might have read in my Sunday Sayings ( formerly Proverbial Thursday/Friday) – I relish the various interpretations and layers of meaning they have. After all, we only had the printed word what, since the reformation? Before that, all words were passed on orally, and oral proverbs and sayings would have been an easy way for one generation to impart wisdom and knowledge to successive generations.
Thanks ever so much for contributing. Always happy to hear of more that you find are poignant.
Amanda
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Allies are important , even the world war 2 witnessed the win of allied power.
We should have more allies than enemies.
Nice post.
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Thanks for that comment, Mohit. WWII is a supreme example of collaboration for the benefit of mankind. Selfless sacrifice for the common good.
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True @forestwood 😊
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My mother, who celebrates today, is my biggest ally and fan and friend. ❤ With her as a role-model it's so much easier to live, love and rejoice. In my corner, just as you say. Here's to mom and daughters, and all other kinds of allies!
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Oh that is lovely to hear uou and your Mum are close. I love being a Mum to my daughter. She is the very best!!
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