Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”Martin Luther King Jr.
Negative, Hateful Feelings
When we have been hurt we feel strong emotions, like hate. We might be filled with passionate rage and its the body that might automatically switch on strong emotions, bypassing the more rational thinking and analysing centres of the brain.
That bodily rush that comes with anger is due to a surge of adrenalin, and it might even mean we forget why we actually hate the things we do. If hate continues to fester, we might even forget what and who we hate and just experience raw bodily emotion. It is then we might begin to hate for the sake of hating itself, to vent at something – anything. Ultimately, if we do not halt and process this raw emotion, it often seems to turn inwards and we might even begin to hate our own selves too.
It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. Confucius
In order to counteract hate, one has to move on from the past mistakes or troubles, disconnect from other haters if they are in your circle and shift our mental focus.
Hating prevents any enjoyment of the present life. It does not satisfy or heal, it only destroys.
If basic needs, such as physiological needs and safety are not currently being met in a person filled with hate, then this needs to be dealt with first. One cannot begin to resolve hate, if the person feels insecure, hungry, or even lacks a sense of belonging, in their lives. When basic needs are not met, the person might be vulnerable to extremist social and religious groups or behaviours, for they offer that sense of community/belonging which the individual is desperately seeking.
The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
Age and Anxiety
As we age, and deal with life experiences and challenges, both good and bad, one realizes that many worries and fears don’t ever come to fruition. They are, more often than not, unfounded. How many opportunities to experience joy are lost because of months/years of needless worry and negativity?
Letting go of rage, raw emotion and fear, the need to always be right and control others, the need to have everything perfect or everything your way, or the feelings of not being good enough requires hard work and discipline but can be done.
If we accept that we can not change the past, and shift our focus ahead, to a new future, you just might be bothered less by all the past with its regrets and nonsenses. What’s done is done, and now is history. It is no longer real, so it is best to look forward and focus on what you CAN actually do, right now, in this moment.
The Present Moment
The present moment is significant, not as the bridge between past and future, but by reason of its contents, which can fill our emptiness and become ours, if we are capable of receiving them.