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Sunday Sayings – Hate and Letting go

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” 

Martin Luther King Jr.
star
star in the darkness

 Negative, Hateful Feelings

When we have been hurt we feel strong emotions, like hate. We might be filled with passionate rage and its the body that might automatically switch on strong emotions, bypassing the more rational thinking and analysing centres of the brain.

That bodily rush that comes with anger is due to a surge of adrenalin, and it might even mean we forget why we actually hate the things we do. If hate continues to fester, we might even forget what and who we hate and just experience raw bodily emotion. It is then we might begin to hate for the sake of hating itself, to vent at something – anything.  Ultimately, if we do not halt and process this raw emotion, it often seems to turn inwards and we might even begin to hate our own selves too.

It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.  Confucius    

In order to counteract hate, one has to move on from the past mistakes or troubles, disconnect from other haters if they are in your circle and shift our mental focus.

Hating prevents any enjoyment of the present life. It does not satisfy or heal, it only destroys.

If basic needs, such as physiological needs and safety are not currently being met in a person filled with hate, then this needs to be dealt with first. One cannot begin to resolve hate, if the person feels insecure, hungry, or even lacks a sense of belonging, in their lives. When basic needs are not met, the person might be vulnerable to extremist social and religious groups or behaviours, for they offer that sense of community/belonging which the individual is desperately seeking.

The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.

Eldridge Cleaver

Age and Anxiety

As we age, and deal with life experiences and challenges, both good and bad, one realizes that many worries and fears don’t ever come to fruition. They are, more often than not, unfounded. How many opportunities to experience joy are lost because of months/years of needless worry and negativity?

Acceptance

Letting go of rage, raw emotion and fear, the need to always be right and control others, the need to have everything perfect or everything your way, or the feelings of not being good enough requires hard work and discipline but can be done.

If we accept that we can not change the past, and shift our focus ahead, to a new future, you just might be bothered less by all the past with its regrets and nonsenses. What’s done is done, and now is history. It is no longer real, so it is best to look forward and focus on what you CAN actually do, right now, in this moment.

The Present Moment

The present moment is significant, not as the bridge between past and future, but by reason of its contents, which can fill our emptiness and become ours, if we are capable of receiving them.

–Dag Hammarsköld

25 thoughts on “Sunday Sayings – Hate and Letting go”

  1. I believe there is merit and a basic goodness in living a faith-based life and following concepts such as forgiveness…sometimes easier said than done……right now I am having trouble truly accepting the faith I was raised in…I stopped going to services as I felt I was just going through the motions and not really “living message”.

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    1. Belief and religion can be an evolving process. What one believes as a child is bound to change as a young adult and then as an older adult as life experiences change. Belief should be lived along with one’s life, whatever that belief is. But I think it is dynamic not static and one does not necessarily need to attend a service to feel they are honouring their belief. The belief lies in the heart!

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  2. Read this earlier and let it percolate – 😉 such good points about the damage from
    Hate and bitterness –
    And fav part was how the now is not a bridge – instead – it is its own content – so often I view it as a bridge as I plan for tomorrows and process yesterdays

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    1. It is definitely good to plan somewhat, Yvette. No planning is a little to chaotic and haphazard for me. I feel more achievement if I plan. Equally – processing is important when we get an unexpected jolt to our equilibrium – physical or mental, I think.
      It is, as often is the case, getting the balance between planning too much and not planning enough, processing too much and not processing at all – that is the challenge for all to get right. And it’s such an individual level of each concept that each person will seek. Thanks for your input. It is always valued and gets me thinking more deeply too, about what I write.

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  3. I didn’t get this post, either. I’m having to go through the bloody READER to find your posts.
    VOT ISS GOINK ON ?
    I think I’ll cancel my follow, and then, some hours later, start it up again…

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    1. You can restart the follow a soon as you untick follow, I think. I often have blogs drop off my reader. I find the phone is more reliable for follows than my desktop. Why – I dont know.

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  4. We waste our lives on worry, too, don’t you think, Amanda ? Stringer used admonish me: “What on earth are you worrying for, darling ? – it won’t achieve anything ! Worrying until you find out yes or no isn’t going to change a single thing; and you will’ve lost all the interim time to do other stuff.” This was nearly always to do with tenders we’d put in; but his wisdom wasn’t effective. I continued to waste days and days and weeks and weeks in mental nail-chewing.
    Hate is much worse, of course.

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    1. You get where I am coming from, M-R. And like you, I am or was a worrier. I started ditching the worry because I could see how much it was taking away from my life and found other way to deal with the stress, like meditation. Then the wonderful Marlene, from Insearchofitall Blog provided the nail in the worry coffin for me. She told me that when things worry her, she simply hands them over to the Universe for a while, to sort out. And that I do actually do now too – Of course, I am not so naive to think that thought will work for everyone, but it did work for me. I hope the nail-chewing has ameliorated in your new life down south?

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      1. It was only virtual/mental – not real since I first met Stringer. But I have had occasion down here to worry – happiy no more, now that I am enclosed within the peace of MACS. Turns out that the worry of my late single-again life has been almost entirely predicated upon noise !

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        1. Noise – then you had better not come visit the home by the sea for a while! We have construction aplenty is this new estate. In 5 years, it will be all done and dusted, but for now, the noise of power tools and drills surround me.

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  5. lovely, Amanda. All the quotes hold such depth and inspire us to be a better version of ourselves. I particularly like the last one where it says that present moment is significant but not as a bridge..I had never read this one before. I tend to look at the present at so many times as a bridge to the future, at times forgetting to take in the importance of that which is now. And the worrying part….I worry if I don’t plan everything and I worry even after thinking that I have overdone things! But I am learning to let go of things that I cannot control and thereby reduce unnecessary anxiety. Have a long way to go, though. But learning is a process for sure and it’s okay to stumble and pause, as long as we get up and get going. I have a harder time with dislike and the hurt that it causes. I sometimes deal with pent up feelings, that originate from getting hurt and then as I am unable to express that out loud, it at times takes the shape of dislike for that person. And that in turn causes me pain as I am, in general, not a person who likes to hold on to grudges. Do you know what I mean? But I have started this conscious process of actually letting go of people and emotions that disturb the balance and take away from the present. I am hoping it will work:) Your Sunday sayings have helped in this journey quite a bit and I have some written down in a notebook that I keep by my bedside.

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    1. It is so lovely to hear that the sayings have helped you, Moon. They are often oh so very wise and invaluable for our life, especially when we encounter obstacles that prevent us from growing and moving forward.

      Why do we hold on to thoughts that don’t serve or support us? Why do we sometimes try to discredit someone who has wronged us? (Even if we don’t do it out loud)
      For retribution?
      Or as a vengeful act that makes us feel that the other person needs to be taught a lesson.
      Or that the person would understand if only they experienced an equally hurtful act?
      Life must be fair and even?
      The feeling of inadequacy or lack of recognition when it is deemed to be deserved.
      Exclusion from social events.
      The feeling of not being good enough or being judged negatively?
      So many reasons.

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