“The unhappiest people in this world are the people who care the most about what everyone else thinks.”
Unknown
Many of us want to be right!
We think we are right.
We try to be right.
We even try to convince others that we are right. It may be because it elevates our social status, or own our self-esteem, or because we are perfectionistic and being wrong is equated to being bad.
It is our desire to want to be right that might be the reason we subconsciously choose negative thinking.
There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.
‘Some day the negative voice inside you will have nothing left to say.’
Unknown
Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to always happen, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for the moment.
The best thing anyone can do is to try and get away from yourself. Unfortunately, psychologists are forever banging on about individuality which can end up in endless navel-gazing.
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Wise words from Mr Oosterman!! I fully agree. Too much navel gazing can send anyone batty as thet lose the bigger perspective. Thanks for your input, Gerard.
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Reblogged this on Sarah's Attic Of Treasures and commented:
Very true.
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This reminds me of one of my favorite Churchill quotes: “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
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What a great quote E.W.- Churchill had some inspirational ones, indeed.
I have mentioned before the legions of hours we waste worrying about possible consequences and effectively ruin the present moment by doing so. The past and future do not exist in reality, only in our thoughts. We only have the present moment.
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I’m still thinking these over. There are a few politicians who should take some comments very personally.
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Ahem….so true…..I wish to say more, but am trying to be less judgmental than my usual snarky self this year.
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I admire your restraint, but that’s why my comment was a bit vague too.
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I noticed! But you are often more diplomatic than me!
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The first quote struck me hard because that was me. Once I redirected my energies to my own well-being and that of the people I generally care about the most, my outlook on life improved dramatically.
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Well done, Alejandro! Such self-awareness is great to hear. Our niggling self doubts so often hold us back. Did you simply decide to redirect your energies after careful thought or was there a trigger for you?
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This was a major lifestyle change for me, so it didn’t occur instantly. And I can’t point to a specific trigger. But I’d say things started to change around age 30. I grew up shy and introverted; constantly worrying how others felt about me and fretting over the smallest of issues. I don’t want to come across as a victim, but I slowly started to realize the problem was with me. My own insecurities had stifled my emotions and creativity. It took a while, but I eventually freed myself from own inhibitions. As painful as it can be to understand and accept, we are often our own worst enemy.
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Thanks for explaining that, Alejandro. It is interesting that it happened around the age of 30, the start of another life stage for many, when the direction that one’s life is taking and potential future pathways are often reassessed and reexamined. You are lucky that you were able to create a new and different life for yourself – one that is infinitely more satisfying. I feel and hope it is never too late for anyone to do this, (just a lot harder in older folk), even if some don’t reach that same level of self awareness as you did. Thanks for your kind inspiration. Your comments are always interesting and very welcome.
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Thank you, Amanda. My parents always reminded me of the maxim that with age comes wisdom. But that coincides with the willingness to accept what’s happened and to learn from it all. Some people just don’t want to learn or be educated.
I believe part of my awakening came with the death of one of my best friends in September 1993. Right when he died I also became gravely ill and couldn’t attend his funeral. I’ve always felt bad about that because so many of his friends had abandoned him as his health deteriorated. His mother had thought I’d done just that. When I was finally able to call and tell her, she almost berated me for not calling her at the time to explain what happened.
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Indeed some don’t realize they can learn from experience and think it is the hand fate dealt them.
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Sorry – I am replying on my cell phone so didn’t see the second half of your comment. Was that another example of finding a lesson in a difficult and sad situation?
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Yes, I mentioned the death of a close friend of mine in September 1993; about two months before I turned 30.
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A sad time for you. If only we could reverse the tape and speak up. I am glad the Mum finally had the truth and you clarity and closure.
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Rain has taken care of my unhappiness
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I am so pleased to hear that. Rain makes me happy, even in the absence of drought. Must be my Danish DnA!!
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Rain has the same effect upon me. There are few things more pleasant and soothing than rainfall, either during the day or at night.
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The petrichor enlivens the senses
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Ah, yes! And that is a scent too extraordinary for mere words.
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I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like it. We must have an inbuilt sensor harkening back to Neanderthal days when perhaps it was important for us to sense and follow that smell.
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and for mere mortals “The word is constructed from Greek petra (πέτρα), meaning “stone”, and īchōr (ἰχώρ), the fluid that flows in the veins of the gods in Greek mythology.”
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I wonder why they chose the word ‘stone’….although the smell is quite earthen?
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Probably as “ostracaīchōr” would be too hard to say 😀
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Now thanks for extending my vocabulary, Brian. I had to look that one up. That aroma is divine!
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I love that it was coined by Australians – https://theconversation.com/the-smell-of-rain-how-csiro-invented-a-new-word-39231 and is made up from Greek “The word is constructed from Greek petra (πέτρα), meaning “stone”, and īchōr (ἰχώρ), the fluid that flows in the veins of the gods in Greek mythology.”
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What an amzing story and discovery! Well done to Richard and Joy!! And she only recently retired!!
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It is wonderful. Glad I could bring something new into your life Amanda
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Many thanks! I love to learn new information.
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Me too
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There are not so many of us that feel this way about rain. But good to know I am in good company 🙂
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Focus on out not within I think.. without being a doormat.. It took a long time.. 😉
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Oh so true and a great all round mantra for life, Lisa.
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A lovely thoughtful post that encapsulates where I’m trying to be at the moment!
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Well done, Margaret. There is a kind of mental liberation in not always having to insist we are right. The air is much calmer. Sometimes though, the frustrations of a series of wrong decisions made by another party, might warrant gentle and diplomatic suggestions. Particularly where partners are involved!!
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🙂
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I see the full comment now
A sad event for you. It must have been a difficult conversation you had with the Mum.
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