Community, Philosophy

Sunday Sayings – Confidence

Forestwood
happy smile-beach

Confident people have it easy in life. At least they appear to. Nothing seems to be much of a problem or obstacle to them. But is that self-assurance always confidence or is it a little more complicated than that?

Having confidence is not

“They will like me”

Confidence is

I will be Fine if They Don’t”

Princess Marthe Louise of Norway

Eleanor Roosevelt seemed to think so too.

You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.     

Eleanor Roosevelt

Confidence comes from the certainty of being able to confide and trust in someone. Having the self-assurity that you are right, morally and personally or functionally.

Remember this advert?

We might feel confident in our skills. We don’t think about them, if we are confident. We just get on and do them.

Confidence is defined as:

‘the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something or,

the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust.’

A big smile and a calm unflappable nature exudes confidence by others.

They trust that you can handle yourself. People glean much more body language than they realize, by reading other people’s state of mind through the way they carry themselves or their own unique body language.

The meaning of confidence seems to have morphed into something more like what could be described as over confidence, an ability to handle multiple social situations. Depending on the tone of the conversation, it might even mean:

  • Cockiness
  • Hidden insecurities behind bravado
  • Natural interpersonal skills

How would you describe someone who has confidence?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Something to Ponder About

Published by Forestwood

A philosophic Aussie writes here at StPA, one who will readily admit to loving Scandinavia. I'm interested in global politics and what drives us to be who we are. Scratch the surface and you'll find a practical Environmentalist with an egalitarian bent, trying to unleash a little creativity via the written word. Scandinavian culture, literature and traditions are close to my heart, even though I'm Australian. Travel and courteous discussions greatly broaden the mind, so I travel if I can and am always up for a vigorous, respectful discussion. I'm an avid reader, a writer and I enjoy photography and crafts, particularly traditional art forms. I hope you'll find 'Something to Ponder About,' in my WordPress Community.

66 thoughts on “Sunday Sayings – Confidence”

  2. Amanda, I am always surprised by the number of people who seem confident say to me, that they feel donā€™t anything but are trying to just go positive, outing and get in with life in general! We are all so many people within the one body, portraying ourselves differently depending on the circumstances and people around us! šŸ˜€šŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I think it’s a mixture of the two … for instance if I am doing a talk in front of many people I will give myself a ‘pep’ talk, to help give me the extra confidence to go ahead. But without some inherent confidence in the first place I would not even consider it.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I hear that public speaking is the number one fear for so many, around the world, Annika. We are a judging species and somehow this judging must have given us an advantage in life. Many of us work hard trying not to be ‘judgmental’and not to judge others, yet our education system encourages this type of analysis. Is it good or bad? If bad, why? What motivates the bad and the good folk etc. We are trying to understand each other. In light of this, it is interesting to ponder why we are so scared of being judged. Is confidence then an innate or learned response or a bit of both? Can one learn not to worry about what others think, given awareness and innate confidence, in a similar way to you giving yourself a pep talk to get rid of nerves?

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, the tricksters are at the extremes of confidence, aren’t they, Peggy? Never a doubt in their mind that they are correct, right and true. Perhaps this is why some are so convincing because they lose sight of the boundary between truth and lies? Then again it is all about manipulation and control of others for them too.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt’s quote is sooo clever ! – but it’s the Princess’ quote that I like best.
    I just talk to everyone as if I know them. Works without fail ! šŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Princess communicates that she has mastered self confidence. But expresses it wisely, don’t up think, M-R.
      I had to replace an image from the post, as it didn’t load on the mobile format. Do yo have AMP loaded?

      Liked by 1 person

      2. I have just discovered it on the admin tabs. Accelerated mobile presentation. You impressed me with your technical blog knowledge in the past on wordpress functionality, so I wondered if you were into that. Apparently it speeds up page loading on mobile devices by cutting out extra fancy bits, but sometimes can disadvantage your blog in Google/SEO searches. It is a bit too technical for me and my free platform I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ah, I see ! No, not relevant to me; inasmuch as since I don’t access the internet by phone, I am somewhat careless about that aspect of blogging .. And I agree that those fancy techo thingies are meant for blogs that seek to make money. Have you looked at the list of themes lately ? – it seems that every new one, back for a long while, is designed for a business ..

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well they are catering to their customers who have a business plan. We hobby bloggers – especially the ones who pay nothing come far down the priorities. Yet they have a commitment to open source software so will never abandon us entirely.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I pay ’em to redirect to my domain – and also to upgrade me in case I feel like customizing. I shall stop that second one, I think ..

        Liked by 2 people

      7. I shall have to check my bank statements. The really good thing about being not right at the bottom is that you never have ads .. erhmm .. added. [grin]

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I was always very shy as a child and a young adult but my confidence has grown over time. It definitely helps to have confidence but I really cannot bear the over confident types in this world, can you?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Difficult question but I’ll try to define it. Confidence is having a good sense of who you are [self-awareness] plus trusting your ability to gauge any situation [experience] tempered by the ability to not take yourself too seriously [humility].

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ooh, I like this. You have encapsulated the aspects of confidence succinctly. If someone had all that together, might one also label this charisma? (Not that I am a fan of labels, but merely using that term for the discussion. Or does charisma have something added; more than just confidence, Ally?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’d say that charisma is something more than confidence. To me charisma suggest being the zeitgeist of the times. Being the embodiment of what people want to be and therefore having more sway over them. For good or bad.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Charisma: Zeitgeist of the times. Interesting. I thought of charisma as being a special quality of attractiveness, but perhaps it is!also time/era dependant. I would have to think more about that. Confidence being a separate quality to charisma. Hmm, charisma seems more unique, less frequently seen in society, than confidence. To quote the dictionary definition, charisma is ‘compelling attractiveness that inspires devotion,’ so perhaps charisma is a level above confidence, after all? I doubt that any charismatic individual could outwardly lack confidence.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Different levels of confidence, Lisa? Or different types? This cooking confidence seems to be more related to experience and perhaps a little ingenuity, perhaps?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes knowing they are good at it and maybe also not having to talk to others much.. We can all be confident in some situations and not others.. Some people are just confident no matter what.. šŸ˜‰

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Honestly some times I think it comes from their parents.. If your parents boost you continually in the right way and surround their kids with support it really bodes well for confidence.. They just know they are beautiful and that they can do it.. šŸ˜‰ I wasn’t able to do that with my kids.. ;-(

        Like

  8. Confidence is what I feel, when I walk the path illuminated by the living flame in the center of my soul…

    My other heart expresses it somewhat differently though: confidence is being sure, that whatever crops up he will be able to handle it – somehow.
    Cockiness, on the other hand, is like that kind of confidence + the (misguided) belief that nothing could ever go wrong! šŸ˜€

    Without a doubt, confidence is very personal thing however – and we may each of us experience and feel it in different ways.

    I have great confidence, that your week will be beatiful and inspiring, dear Amanda! šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You nailed a great definition of cockiness, Elena. This is over-confidence, more than enough for what is required.
      I agree it is very personal and perhaps the people surrounding us at any given time can also influence our feeling of confidence or lack thereof. I can feel intimated amongst a group of super confident people!
      Worries interfere with confidence, don’t they?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I really like your beautiful blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and very interesting blog. I come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. A soon.

    Like

      1. No, not really a party boy. Are you, a party girl? I don’t think so.
        I am reticent in group situations and generally wait, try and find out about others and their opinions. I do hold strong opinions and will voice them when pushed. What about you?

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I prefer the written word than the spoken word, Gerard. I can gather my thoughts better in this medium. Definitely not a party girl.

        Like

  12. Confidence is good, but so is doubt. Itā€™s about a balance between them, and maybe the right timing. Too much confidence, and Shaw will tell us ā€œThe whole problem with the world is the fools and fanatics are always so sure of themselves, and wiser people are full of doubts.ā€ šŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey, excellent point, E.W. Those that are so sure they are 100% right are often not smart enough to realize their memories or choices are fallible. There is wisdom in letting go of the need to be right, even if history shows that you are. Confidence in being right is flawed as that person closes their ears to opposing views.

      Like

  13. Confidence is the understanding that weā€™re not and never can be perfect ā€“ and neither is anyone else. Itā€™s the ability to say no to a dinner invitation and not feel the need to explain why.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “…Neither is anyone else” – that is the key. Just the single thought that others are better than your, plays tricks with your self confidence, I think, Alejandro. It is best to understand that is a doubt – not reality.

      Like

  14. I find it interesting, in this blogging situation where body language is excluded, actually in any written online communication, how confidence comes across. It’s my personal favourite. Possibly I get it from books, where authors exude their confidence in the best way possible too. And when I meet people whom I met through their online words first, I’m never wrong. In this way confidence cannot be faked.

    Liked by 1 person

      6. I guess I could be that person but morality encompasses many areas. I value loyalty, commitment, caring and kindness, as well as helping where I can yes, but religiously moral not so much.

        Liked by 2 people

  16. Thanks for this. I love Eleanor Roosevelt’s comment – I agree. While we worry about what others think of us, they are too busy worrying what others think of them to notice what we’re doing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for your lovely comment, Library Lady. It is a realization that takes some time for all of us to absorb. Curious really, when it is quite logical. I felt quite liberated when I finally understood this. I think I was in my thirties when it dawned on me. What about you?

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Several years ago I learned actress Katherine Hepburn once said that it never occurred to her to doubt herself, and I thought, ā€œLiar!ā€ EVERYONE doubts themselves at one time or another in their lives. Some are just better at covering it up than others. The key is to replace that doubt with a greater sense of personal confidence and self-worth.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Obviously, Katherine Hepburn was a consummate actress! I think actors have to have that level of confidence to perform roles other than themselves! To put on another ‘hat’ and be convincing is to be confident in your imitation.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Katharine Hepburn may have been a good actress from some perspectives, but I feel she was overrated for the most part. In every role, we know itā€™s her portraying the character. She never really ā€œactedā€; she more or less ā€œbehavedā€. There IS a difference. Hepburn once criticized fellow actress Meryl Streep. But Hepburn had nothing on Streep, as far as Iā€™m concerned. Iā€™ve seen most of Streepā€™s movies, and although we know itā€™s her, she gets so deep into the character that sheā€™s almost unrecognizable. The late actor Philip Seymour Hoffman once said, if we donā€™t recognize him in a particular role, then ā€œIā€™ve done my job.ā€

        Thatā€™s actually why, in old Hollywood, Hepburn was often denounced as ā€œKatharine of Arroganceā€. In the 1936 movie ā€œMary of Scotlandā€, she portrays the title character. An old story states that, throughout the filmā€™s production, Hepburn repeatedly said she could play both Mary and Elizabeth Tudor (Elizabeth I). Someone (I believe it was John Huston) finally said, if she did that, she wouldnā€™t know which character to upstage!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Intetesting. I have only seen Hepburn in, Who’s coming to dinner?’ So I should not really comment on her performance, as an actor. But I do how what you mean by getting so deep in the character, the audience forgets they are acting. I have this problem ding that with Nicole Kidman, in her movies. I’m always thinking and judging her acting skills except for one movie. I think it was called, ‘the hours.’ That was the only one where I forgot she was acting and felt she was really into the character, she was portraying. She was actually portraying a ghost in that movie. Hah! What does that say? Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.