“No I don’t need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off.“
https://www.coolnsmart.com/annoying_people_quotes/
You are having a difficult day, right? The sales assistant in a local store refuses to do what you need them to do and you’re running late, that new work colleague continues to micro manages every aspect of your work, (despite the fact you have been doing the tasks perfectly well for five years or more), and to cap the day off, you get home, the baby is screaming, house is a mess and said partner has left the toilet seat up!
Feeling a little annoyed?
Suddenly, it is all too much!
People who think they know it all are especially annoying to those of us who do
Anonymous
When we feel irritated by people’s behaviour, feelings can build up inside us and we might blurt out harsh words or criticism, that is later regretted.
Feeling annoyed at other people’s behavious not only damages our work and personal relationships but detracts from our level of contentment in life and even might affect our self -esteem.
In any other context, or situation, these actions would be almost meaningless, (such as leaving the toilet seat up), so we must ask ourselves:
Why are we so irritated by their behaviour?
IF YOU LET SOMETHING ABOUT A PERSON ANNOY US, (eg. eating noisily), PEOPLE WILL KEEP DOING IT TO US.
What is it that prevents us from seeing the person’s good points and focusing on something bad?
Why do we seem to ascribe a negative meaning to another’s behaviour in our own minds, yet feel annoyance and irritation in ourselves?
What ARE we gaining by being irritated?
We do it because it gives us a payoff.
- We get to feel like a martyr – meaning I AM still okay so you are NOT
- We get to blame others for our feelings
- We get to feel unhappy and it’s someone else’s fault
The alternative is to take responsibility for our feelings and aim to be more flexible and more accepting of other people’s temperaments and priorities.
Because:
Everyone IS different.
Some shout and scream, others never open up, some hoard their money and others spend it. Some love Donald Trump and other abhore him. Some like to be alone, others need to be around people. Some are loud, funny or raucous, others quiet, mellow or aloof.
If we want to be accepted as we are, we must therefore accept others just as they are, too.
Give other people space to be who they are.
“No matter how big your house is,
how recent your car is,
how big your bank account balance is,
our graves will always be the same size,
STAY HUMBLE“
Unknown – Let me know if you know who wrote this
Respect others enough to allow them the opportunity to experience life in their own way. Being irritated or upset is fine, unless it gets in the way of our own enjoyment of life.
It is much preferable to not become upset. [This might take practice if you have been irritated with other people, for a long time.]
Putting conditions on how others should behave around us, cuts us off from life itself. If your friends are much sillier, more serious, more talkative, drink more, ruder, more overly polite or more boring, liking or hating your favourite politician, delight in these differences of the folk who make up your world around you.
Enjoy their uniqueness for what it is, and do yourself a favour.
Practise Tolerance.
Everyone has a right to enjoy their life as they see fit.
Practise tolerance to feel happier!
Something to Ponder About this Sunday.
Oh, how right you are ! – it’s just that my two strongest .. erhmm .. behavioural traits (?) are (1) impatience and (2) intolerance. [grin]
I am, she said loftily, FAR too old to change now ..
😀
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You don’t have to change M-R, you just have to be more flexible! It keeps the blood pressure down, you know.
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My blood pressure is ace. I think it’s the Avapro. 😀
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Very sorry to see people who can’t control their anger. Inexcusable.
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So few of us are perfect, Peggy. Angry people haven’t been listened to or have fears or pain they are hiding behind.
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I am hardly perfect nor do I consider myself better than anyone else. But sometimes annoyances wear me down and I like to vent about it. I am not demonizing anyone. Well, except people who like drowning kittens or stomping on puppies, then I feel justified because obviously they are demonic monsters..
And a lot of my ‘ranty’ impatience and blog venting is what keeps me from going off verbally on the little annoyances. My family is hardly quietly accepting of things I do to annoy them, I guess turning it into ‘ranty written humor’ is my idea of healthier communication?
One of my biggest things in relationships/cohabitation has always been the sheer inanity of how many fights start over toothpaste caps left off or toilet lids left up or the toilet paper is over or under and someone’s freaking out. Get toothpaste with a fliptop, get some gizmo that lights up the toilet so you can see if the lid is up or down, and just put up a second toilet paper holder. Sound silly? Not as silly as people threatening to get divorced over the little things. 😉
We can accept others as they are but sometimes, it is just more peaceful to also accept we’re different and the world won’t end if rather than always compromising or disagreeing you just spend an extra buck or two so you can have your sloppy lidless toothpaste glop to yourself.
No need to tell me how warped my views are, I am aware. Warped is my thing.
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I sometimes wonder why a certain person is so quick to dislike/hate someone else for what I’d call small infractions. But like you said, some people want to find the negatives in other people so that they can feel superior? In control? I dunno. Difficult to know what makes haters tick, but they do get off on being angry.
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‘Haters’ (Aussies might say whingers), or those who are prone to find fault with the majority of other people and things, could be so covertly needy that they are satisfied with negative attention from others, Ally. They might be quite okay with putting their pride above any real truth and use conflict to intimidate those who question them. I also think some folks may be unaware of their original motives for becoming angry, perhaps? They get lost in a world of negativity.
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What a powerful message! Thanks for sharing it.
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Thank you Teamfollowthrough. That is a beautiful compliment. In writing about this, I hope to spread a little understanding of others, and understanding of myself as well. Do you have some annoying people in your life?
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Of course I do! Ha! But I feel the same as you do. I’ve seen others get so torn up about coworkers or family members that it actually ruins their life! Not worth it!
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I Can see you understand when I’m getting it. And the point of the post. I appreciate that. In your experience has anything else helped that we could add to this post?
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Hear hear!
Thankfully, my fuse is much longer now – I have a lot more reaction time between intitial irritation to action. And most times, that little extra time allows me to look for some alternative way of interpreting the situation.
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That is very wise to wait that extra time, Ju- Lyn. That way you can think how you are going to respond and not just react. I think most times there is some alternative ways of interpreting what people say – if we consider other perspectives. This happens mostly in reflection.
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I’m afraid it is not wisdom that stays my hand. It is not wanting to do and say something I regret
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Aha – that is your motive. If it works and doesn’t cause you any anxiety, all is good, even if based on fears.
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As my husband reminds me often, to accept act of kindness without worrying about motivation behind it, whether in the giving or receiving.
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Your husband practices humility in all situations. That is to be admired.
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I think so too! He is truly a role-model for me, particularly in matters of relating to others.
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I am NOT a people fan, which is why I’ve always had trouble making friends and why I currently have only a handful of close friends. (REAL friends, not Facebook friends.) And I decided recently to let go of a friend of some 30+ years. My outgoing parents never understood that part of my persona. I was always more introspective than most. I used to have a long fuse of patience with people. But now, the wick has shortened, and it takes little to piss me off. I suppose that’s the price of being too nice throughout one’s life. I actually get along with dogs better than I do with people!
Several years ago, at a gathering of friends and acquaintances, someone asked me what my idea of a perfect date was. I said it was on either a Friday or Saturday night. On Fridays I’d get home from work, play with the dog, shower and relax; then do some writing. On Saturdays, after visiting the gym, housework, giving the dog a bath and again writing, I’d turn on the lava lamp, put on my favorite music, fill up a large glass with wine and dance the night away; while wearing little more than boxer shorts, if anything at all. Either night I didn’t have to worry about being on time and looking properly dressed and groomed; none of this trying to say and do the right thing. I was alone and concerned with my own happiness.
After I described all that, everyone was silent for a moment and realized that IS the perfect date!
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It certainly sounds like to were having fun, Alejandro enjoying your own company without the pressure of puttingv on an act fir tree benefit of the crowd. Introverts achieve energy from their own company, don’t they, as I am sure we have discussed many times before. They get drained from being around others too much. Were you like this from an early age? In adolescence introverts often feel conflicted I think. Societel pressures make them think they should be around others, but don’t yet feel okay being alone.
Animals are unfettered by social mores. They understand body language better than most humans. They accept totally. Not a bad trifectorate?
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Yes, I was shy and mostly introverted from my earliest recollections. As a child and a teen, it definitely bothered me. I slowly began growing out of it once I reached my early adulthood. I’m certainly not shy now, but I am still somewhat introverted. In some ways, that actually helped me become a better writer. I stand off to the side; studying people and learning their various quirks and mannerisms. It can be comical sometimes, but it’s also enlightening. It’s from these quiet analyses that I often create my characters.
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I get that, Alejandro. People watching is quite absorbing if done in a discreet non stalkerish way. The characters that exist around us in the community are amazing. So unique. That has ironically made me less introverted as I often talk to people if for no other reason than to hear their’story’ – something I would never do as a shy child or teen. There is a difference between shyness and introversion, I think. Shyness I think implies some kind of anxiety paired along with it. Introversion is an awareness of that concept but still a definite preference for solitude, at certain times. Introverts can still feel lonely and misunderstood though, hey? Little wonder when 75%of the world displays extrovertion. I think self assurance that your own self, is okay just as you are, naturally develops as you experience and create your adult world.
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Enjoy your thought provoking Sunday Sayings posts. I agree, we are all different and need to learn to give and take a bit more.
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I agree giving and taking is a big part of being open, flexible and accepting of every individual person, Marion.
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So wise.. practise tolerance is everything.. one needs to be reminded sometimes.. 😉
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Most of us know this intuitively but putting it in to practice is somehow different for some folks and they slip back to their old entrenched values and ideas. The reminder is a way to practise and reinforce that skill until it becomes entrenched, I think.
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
WISDOM, INDEED!
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Thank you, Jonathan. Have you had an experience like this?
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Ii have been both the annoyed…and the annoyer! 😀
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Oh I see- well I just you can see it from both perspectives.
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