Weekly Quote
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”
-David Brinkley
Weekly Proverb
If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail. — Gambian proverb
Resilience
A recent article suggests that those who can weather the storms of life have the ability to perceive events in a different way to those who feel stressed and negatively impacted by trauma and life’s challenges.
Whether you can be said to have resilience, or not, might depend on the way your life unfolds. If you are lucky and never experience any adversity, you don’t really know for sure how resilient you might be. When you come across obstacles stress and environmental threats, you discover how well you can cope with life’s challenges.
Reacting to Stress
Do you see a stressful event as traumatic, or a problem? Or is it a chance to learn and grow?
Why do some kids thrive in awful circumstances and yet others crumble despite hailing from more comfortable backgrounds?
Predictors of Resilience in Children
Who will be resilient?
According to the article, support networks are essential to resilience. A strong bond with a supportive caregiver, parent, teacher, or other mentor, who believed in them tended to be more resilient, when life threw them a curve ball.
Children displaying the following strengths were also noted to be more resilient: [Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2956753/%5D
- mature, autonomous and independent
- were naturally curious
- used whatever skills they had effectively
- belief it was themselves, not their circumstances, that affected their achievements
- strategies to deal with stress
- a talent or hobby valued by others
- a sense of humour
- responded well to others
- tolerated negativity
- well developed decision making, reading and planning
- a balanced perspective of experience
- hopefulness
- flexible but tenacious
In short, “The resilient children saw themselves as orchestrators of their own fates.“
newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/the-secret-formula-for-resilience
The final saying today comes from Janet over at This, that and the other thing:
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Discussion
Do you see yourself as the master of your own destiny?
Join in the conversation. All comments are welcome.
Something to Ponder About 
anything that you do will always be criticised by someone but I definitely couldn’t live by do nothing, say nothing… who cares criticise if you want.. 😉
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👍🏻
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I like to think I’ve reared resilient children. Only time will tell.
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I am sure you would have, Peggy. Well done!
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Lately, it’s me who’s been my worst critic. Any shred of self-confidence and belief in myself has gone to the wind and I’m very afraid to do much of anything these days. My family swears I’m resilient, using my move to Japan (alone!) as an example, but am I really?
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I see myself as adapting to my destiny. I have a more bloom where you’re planted by fate attitude, rather than a mistress of my own destiny who chose to live where we do. Of course, maybe by adapting I’m resilient? Doing as Brinkley said, making a strong foundation with those lousy bricks.
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It does sound like you are doing as Brinkely suggested in that you are adaptable on the path you might fairly spontaneously encounter, or take. The ability to adapt is so beneficial in many ways and a great contributor to success. Evolution teaches us that.
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I think we’re all masters of our own destinies but no matter how focused we are there are outer influences that may alter or even change our course in life. We can choose to get back on the path or choose to change the path and aim for a new and maybe even better destiny.
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We choose our reality by interpreting events according to our past experiences, values, emotions and thinking. In that way, we are choosing the path. You are spot on, there, Mama.
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I do like that first saying. My resilience has come from having survived some pretty horrific times, my whole life up till now. By the grace of God I am still alive. That’s not to say life stops happening, I consider myself blessed in that out of it I am able to problem solve really really well, lol. that’s not to say I don’t have challenges as a result. As for raising my own children they are now in their 20s studying working & have more common sense than some people twice their age. I didn’t want to raise victims(you owe me mentality) I wanted to raise winners. Wow was that too deep. Great blog..Have a fantastic rest of the week.
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Thanks for your thoughtful and deep comment, Workinginacres! Deep comments are appreciated here! It is interesting to hear that you have turned around your experience into a positive; something a lot might strive for, but have some trouble implementing in raising the next generation. Problem solving is a key skill but I wonder if a solution-focused mindset, is necessary for problem solving to be implemented effectively? That ability to feel that they, themselves, are in control, at least, of finding or choosing their own solutions. We can teach another person to look for ways around problems, but if their mind is too distracted or focused on their negative emotions or other matters, the outcome may not be as productive or as fulfilling for them? What do you think?
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I agree. I think for all levels of problem solving does depend on the individual. It can go back to how a child is raised. I have an autistic son who has just been offered a management position in retail. Another friend whos son is asperges autistic & now works as an accountant & lives on his own. Another whom in school couldn’t even hold a conversation but now has his licence. All their problem solving skills were taught from a very young age as you can imagine how intense their little brains are. But if just getting out bed is a problem or putting shoes on, let alone the right feet & you do that despite your mental or physical state that is a huge achievement in problem solving, hopefully those people are supported by people who praise them up & encourage them & cant wait to see what amazing problem solving they are going to do next.
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Those kids you mentioned sound amazing! And great to hear that they are achieving. Problem solving is a life skill that I wish was taught in real life situtaions in schools, at least conceptually. Supportive praise never hurts.
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Well, I would put reading MUCH higher up on that list, with more emphasis.
Also, my experience is that with popularity in school resilience drops. But these things are always relative. What is success, after all?
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Great post. The Greek hero Hercules offers us many lessons on resilience. He teaches us that everyone has monsters they need to conquer, seemingly impossible tasks that they have to accomplish and tragedies they have to overcome. I wrote a blog article on this titled “From Zero to Hero -The Myth of Hercules” – https://authorjoannereed.net/from-zero-to-hero-the-myth-of-hercules/. Feel free to check it out.
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I definitely will take a look. These old stories and legends are often a metaphor for us to learn methods and consequences of everyday life. Thank you for the link.
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🤗 you are most welcome
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