Mental Health, Motivational

You are Not Alone

I came across an interview as a follow on from a friend’s blog.

It was on a sensitive topic.

I have lived through a family member’s depressive and suicidal behaviour, and spent a long time trying to analyse and digest what and why.

There are always questions and no answers. A puzzle that is never complete.

A mystery without a solution.

If a tragedy involving a young adult occurs, the parent is forever changed. There are no magic answers for dealing with it, no rulebook. It leaves a black hole of despair, a permanent scar, for which there is no cure.

How can we help to prevent it?

Suicide occurs less in impoverished circumstances, as opposed to those who have resources and might be perhaps more comfortable in a socio-economic sense.

“I think you can say that when there is a suicide the entire family becomes totally unhinged. And even though we all seem to go back to normalcy, something has been broken forever.

In my own case, having been abandoned by my father in a way – he never was much of a father and then having being abandoned by Jim. The only person who never abandoned me except when he died was Johan Oosterveld, the farmer in the Upstairs Room, the man who saved my life. He was always there for me. He even left a closet, in his attic, with a hole that you could crawl into, where I had hidden from the Germans.

Because he always said: ‘You never know – it might come in handy again, and then Annie you can come back from Neuf York and you can get right back in there.”

Johanna Reiss, author of a Hidden Life.
auschwitz fences

 Johanna Reiss explains it in a better way than I could:

“The middle class and the upper class are much more likely to commit suicide than those who have to find their daily bread, so to speak.

(In) Elie Wiesel’s book. I had read that in concentration camps, the biggest goal for most of them was to get the next crust of bread. And they were already being punished by the Nazis, so they didn’t think they had to punish themselves too.

There were very few suicides in concentration camps, which is strange when you think about it, it surely seems like a place you’d want to get away from.”

www.thebrowser.com/books/interviews/reiss
auschwitz railway

“‘There has to be a reason for people to stay alive, there has to be hope, and there has to be somebody or something that is so important, that you couldn’t possibly leave it.’

Elie Wiesel, a Romanian-born American writer, Nobel laureate, and Holocaust survivor wrote that he was considering running into the barbed wire once, but he didn’t because his father needed him. And that’s the only time he mentions the allure of suicide.”

It is vital that the sufferer does not feel abandoned, that they have a reason to be.

You are not alone.

If you feel it is just too much, speak up and tell someone you are not okay.

Call a friend.

Send a message or text.

Tell someone that you need support.

Tell anyone you feel you can speak to, be that medical, commercial or religious.

Just speak up.

Let someone know.

34 thoughts on “You are Not Alone”

  1. indeed ,absolutely correct depression is very dangerous when we dont share anything and this cost our life also a recent case happen in our country i have mentioned on my blog, and i agree with you,,just speak up…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well according to me raising the quality of life itself creates depression,,u know living what u are is more happiest than pretended and try to raise the quality bcz by it we can’t enjoy the moment and always busy of improving or raising and when we failed or get less it seems like depression, i don’t know this is exact what you are asking.

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    1. Thank you. It was a hard post to write and the topic is indeed so sensitive. It is still taboo to speak off in mamy circles but it doesn’t go away and is on the increase. In these times, so important to keep in mind.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a critical point. When you are in the grip of depression, it can be almost impossible to speak up and talk about emotions, and also to even be heard. Also, if a person is without family or friends, they have no one to speak to and feel life is against them.

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  2. Always an important topic. We need to learn to be more open about so many things. It was even hard to admit I need a therapist to help me get to my end with grace and dignity but I have to put it out there. There is no growth without honesty. Those thoughts crossed my mind on occasion but I was lucky to understand that life was a gift not to be toss away because it was hard. I learned resiliency early in life and so many people don’t have that to help them through the hard stuff. We all need to talk about this more. Thanks for sharing the statistical information too. Learned something new again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Being ‘open’ or openminded, is a marvellous ‘go to’ philosophy. And you practice what you preach!!
      I love the way you said, ” life is a gift not to be tossed away because it was hard. ” Yet another Marlene gem to note down.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You are welcome. It is hard to write about this for many reasons and I have no wish to stress anyone who may find the words hard to read, but I do want folks to know someone is listening.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing this post. It’s easy to feel alone nowadays . But it’s not just sadness to leads to depression and suicide but years of pain and abuse whether physical , emotional , mental , or all. Sometimes the ones who hurt us are family who are unaware of what they are doing. acknowledging what we are feeling and seeking help or simply talking to someone we trust are very important. All People deserve happiness and to feel they matter.

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  4. While clinical depression is a mental health issue it’s not the only contributor to suicide. Other mental health issues such a schizophrenia or bipolar disorder may also lead to suicide if medication isn’t well managed, and that process is complex in the extreme…and sometimes it just gets too much for the individual anyway when they’ve suffered with it for decades. While the impact does have a forever effect on those left behind, one can understand their decision as well….it’s hardly the easy choice. Also it’s critical to understand that a person suffering from depression is usually incapable of asking for help, often thinks they’re worthless and of no importance to others. It’s important for those close to them to recognise the signs and be able and willing to extend their support. While I haven’t explored the statistics, I very much doubt these mental illnesses are exclusive to middle class life. Complex, scary and devastating for the person and close friends and family to deal with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Cass. It is extremely valuable to remember the point you made – some folks are so depressed or mentally ill, asking for anything is quite beyond them, but is it also because these illnesses are still considered taboo, in some ways. ‘Just think positive,’ is often a mantric response to someone daring to open up about their sad feelings.’ This may in turn, then lead to feelings of guilt and shame in the sufferer. If we promote a culture of asking for help, will that make it a teeny bit easier or more acceptable for a sufferer to say something, anything, or give a hint to those who are charged with recognizing the signs that their loved ones with mental illness?
      The stats regarding lower suicide rates are perhaps dated but it was noted in third world countries and in the Nazi concentration camps that suicide rates were lower. I will find the links for you. Perhaps other illnesses or starvation masked that statistic.

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