“Patience is a Virtue and I need more of it – NOW!”
Have you heard anyone say that recently?
- Did you ever feel frustrated when someone pushed ahead of you in a queue?
- How do you feel when someone takes longer than expected to do a simple task at work, or doesn’t complete it in a timely manner despite repeated requests?
- What if your kids or partner refuse the food you have laboriously prepared and cooked all afternoon, only to raid the cookie jar later that evening?
- Has someone walked all over your newly mopped floor in muddy boots?
- Has your final attempt at resolving a bureaucratic problem been quashed by uncaring authorities?
Frustration is an intense emotion we feel:
- when our needs aren’t being met at the time we expect them to be.
- when we feel trapped.
- when we are not listened to.
- when our efforts are not respected or appreciated.
The Instant Gratification Society
How do you react when you waiting for an answer to an urgent email?
Are you someone who responds by sending a follow-up SMS text asking for an update? If they still don’t answer immediately, do you call them directly?
We have come to expect a fast resolution to our needs and experience frustration if that or some other achievable goal is thwarted.
Do you want to know a fact you have forgotten? Google will end our frustrations quickly and efficiently. There’s no need to rack our brains anymore. What does that teach us? That we can quickly solve our own problems?
Society has groomed our vulnerabilities and we now expect a rapid response to our wants and needs.
If we invest more time and effort than we think justified in reaching a goal, the resulting emotion is often frustration and impatience.
Patience is a coping skill we need to navigate a world where gratification is instantly demanded.
How Does Developing Patience Help?
Developing more patience in frustrating situations can improve health and free us from feelings of stress and anger.
However, patience doesn’t mean you will become a people-pleaser or dishonour your personal boundaries, which I posted about last week, but rather it gives you the power of waiting, watching and knowing when and how to act, in order to build compassion between individuals.
- Patience helps you to be kind and compassionate.
- Patience improves your health and wellbeing
- Patience lowers your stress
- Patience frees you from feeling angry emotions
- Patience enhances self-respect by staying centred no matter what
- Patience develops an eye for details
Showing patience offers us extra moments of time in which we can choose how and when to respond to a given event. This may avoid that detrimental knee-jerk emotional reaction. Challenging situations can be dealt with more flexibly.
Practising Patience in Everyday Life
Start out small and practise patience regularly. The following ideas may help:
- Practise letting someone go ahead of you in a queue.
- Deliberately choose a long supermarket queue. Use that time to practise long slow breaths in your busy day.
- Drive the long way home and listen to a podcast or relaxing music.
- Actively listen to exactly what is being said/requested by others. Rephrase their request back to them to double-check for understanding. This helps to put your frustrations aside in order to focus on solutions to the problem you are trying to solve.
- Let a provocative or controversial comment slide.
- Know your weaknesses and avoid letting them become your hot buttons or triggers.
- Build your self-discipline by creating new habits and leading a less complicated life. Studies show that people with self-discipline are generally happier people.
- Challenge your perception about willpower. Recognize that it is normal to feel frustrated, but believe in your ability to choose to direct your energy in a different way.
- Turn your attention inward until your needs are met. This is a good way of practising a form of meditation until you receive the gratification you are searching for.
“Like everything else that brings progress, the greatest struggle is always within ourselves.”Entrepeneur.com
Go through your life practising patience with grace, and avoid pent up anger or frustrations.
Something to Ponder About