Defining You, Yourself and Your Worth

The promises of this world are, for the most part, vain phantoms; and to confide in one’s self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.


That was enough for Michelangelo who had exceptional talent.

For most of us, we judge ourselves more harshly.

You are so much more than your thoughts, your past mistakes, your age or appearance or some character trait.

You are completely unique and really, that is enough in this world.

Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul.

Henry Van Dyke

Charlotte Joko Beck said, “To enjoy the world without judgement is what a realized life is like.”

Our media is constantly judging everything around us and in so doing, influences our own judgements in how facts are presented.

Can you imagine a day without judging any one person or any one thing?

Pure acceptance on all levels? A healthy, open mind.

I will leave the final word this week for Sunday Sayings to a Zen proverb:

“You are already complete.

You just don’t know it.”

Something worth pondering about


55 thoughts on “Defining You, Yourself and Your Worth”

  1. Beautiful ✨ it’s true media really has influenced how people think of themselves. And thank you for reminding us that we are ENOUGH ☺️

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I know that I must be here, at this moment , just as I am for I am traveling in God’s time.
    We can but only try not to judge. There is after all a huge stick in our own eyes that must be removed first.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Self-worth is the ultimate goal of any human. We all seek to attain and understand the worth of our value in life. How important am I? What purpose do I serve in this world? We want to know. We have to know! These aren’t easy queries. In physics, there ARE absolutes. They are immutable; irrefutable. But, in human nature, they don’t exist. This upsets many people. They want something certain, definable, unquestionable – which hints at their own insecurity.

    Regardless, each individual has to find their own identity. If it upsets others, that’s too bad. I’ve learned one thing – others’ rules don’t always apply to me. We have to be our own person.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I so agree that other people’s rules cannot apply generally. Well, maybe the authority’s rules but not individual rules. You are your own unique person with a unique set of experiences, which have shaped your values and morals. It is doubtful there is any kind of duplication in the universe, so we are all totally unique (identical twins notwithstanding). Anyways, you have to be your own person, is spot on. Everyone else as a saying goes, is already taken!
      We do seek to know how important each of us is, and these kinds of thoughts do occupy much of our thinking for a large part of our life. Especially in adolescence, this becomes significant to us, when we are no longer attached to our parents, in terms of our concept of identity.
      Insecurity seems rooted in fear and possible fear of change, do you think Alejandro? I think maybe that is why people want definitive answers, to feel some kind of control over those uncertainties and vagaries of living life on this planet?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, insecurity is one catalyst for humanity’s despair. I read and hear often here in the U.S. that some people bear a fetish for their guns because of some indiscriminate fear of others coming to harm them and their families. They possess a grave distrust of the federal government, yet support many of the political figures who end up creating an economic system that destroys those very livelihoods ardent gun rights advocates are trying to protect. I’ve never seen so many otherwise stalwart individuals (mainly men) express such fear – insecurity.

        As for insecurity, I could write an encyclopedia about that! As I believe I’ve expressed before, it seems I spent most of my life trying to please others. I don’t know why I grew up with such a lack of confidence and self-esteem. I’ve always lamented that I didn’t defy my father and join the U.S. military. I figure that might have helped me develop the personal self-confidence I always had within me. But that was a long time ago, and I certainly can’t change things now.

        One thing I’ve learned is that it’s pointless to rely upon others to validate your existence or your attributes. Don’t do that! I try to instill that sense of empowerment upon people whenever I can. I hate to see others endure that same level of personal disenfranchisement.


        1. Indeed. One can only rely on ourselves and our resolve. If in a mental state of hypervigilance, people will interpret anything they want, from even a mild off-hand comment.
          The confrontation I have had in the early days over the internet trying to discussing guns and gun control with a American stranger was doomed, as the lady interpreted my suggestion for gun restraint into the belief that I really wished for her to be subjected to rape and murder in her own home! She would not listen to any kind of reason. So fearful. It was pointless discussing anything more with her and I gave up when she began slinging insults.
          This was hypervigilant deafness to reason, of a scale unfamiliar to me and exactly as you described it.
          That was some 20 years back.
          Now, I hear fear and a general nervousness in the voices of many of my friends in the US, who think their society will collapse. And you are now seeing fear in the brave young men also? My goodness!
          Uncertain times and insecurities are definitely factors in driving fear, but the media is a barbed messenger that has little conscience and reasons that headlines are more important than the public mood. They inadvertantly compound a fearful mindset by publicizing the gun violence that is supported by historical wording in the constitution. A toxic mix. Australians would not have a clue what our constitution says. This might be ignorant of us, but it is an interesting comparison. Thus, gun control in Australia comes down to personal opinion and new legislation against high powered firearms brought in after the Port Arthur Massacre in 1996.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Learning to define yourself based on your own values is a life skill. One that isn’t encouraged often enough in our society. It takes effort to know who you are, and remain true to yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many of us are working out who we are, for much of our life. We try on different characters and identities to see what works best. Remaining true to yourself is something that is often said, and I hear it a lot on reality TV programs where contestants no doubt at times take on a public persona versus their private persona. I am interested in what you might think that phrase means for you, Ally. Is it simply sticking to your values or is it more a kind of acceptance of who you are and your circumstances?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Both I’d say. Perhaps sticking to your values as best you can in the circumstances you find yourself in. I don’t watch reality TV so I had no idea that phrase had been co-opted there. The things I learn!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. You can learn an awful lot through blogging. I have just realized that you may have thought I was on a blogging break due to my having two blogs. I have posted anything on the Home by the Sea for a few weeks.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. I probably should not say that I have four but only two are active. One is kind of private – focused on family history and the last is for my artwork, something I plan to develop more when I finish an art book I am working on. Have you ever published some of your wonderful words, Ally?


            2. Only in the sense that I hit “Publish” on my blog! I’ve never had the dream to write a book, so blogging works for me. Should my dream change, then… 🤷‍♀️

              Liked by 1 person

            3. With your ability to pen words that garner the attention of the reader and make them smile, smirk, laugh and respond, it is a shame this is something that is not on your agenda. Some bloggers have compiled the better posts from their blog and turned those into a book. So if you do change your mind….

              Liked by 1 person

            4. Thanks for the compliments. I’ve read a few of those books by bloggers and enjoyed them. Maybe some day it’ll all come together and it’ll be the right time for me to write a book? Never say never.

              Liked by 1 person

  5. We not only underestimate ourselves but love to get approval from Tom Dick and Harry.

    I feel women sacrifice a lot compared to men and always at the receiving end and forget about their worth.

    For strange reasons we love to judge unknown people.
    We know what we are doing is wrong,but the addiction is too tempting and strong.

    “Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” C.Joy Bell C 

    Thank you for the thought provoking post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jeff. Many people feel that they are lacking certain qualities, but that is not the point. Every one person is on a journey through self development. Each day of our lives we learn something intuitively or overtly and thus we change and evolve our character in subtle ways day by day.
      The point is that whatever stage we are at, is enough, and complete at that point in time. Can you imagine how confident teenagers or any age would be if they really embraced that thought?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. The concept of whole and complete is powerful, and the practice that follows from this concept is even more powerful. I just wrote an article about another way to view integrity, which is about understanding that we are always already whole and complete, in each and every moment. Again, appreciate the post, and this conversation. 🙂


  6. Hi Amanda, oh, I just love this and couldn´t agree more with all you are saying here. What a fabulous post to start my week off with! Thank you:) I studied Advaita Vedanta in Bali a while ago, and its major premise is “You are already full and complete, here and now”. Blessings and wishing you a great start to your week!

    Liked by 1 person

            1. 36 years and counting for me to be practising Yoga, but I used to do a bit watching a segment on Abc, when I was about 9 years old, if that counts. Black and white TV and all!

              Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Penny. I am thankful you found the words when you most needed them. We tend to get so into our heads, that we forget the external world’s focus is important too. Your previous blogs?

      Liked by 1 person

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