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What Pisses You Off?

I recently volunteered to assist an animal rescue group. I am retired so would like to contribute more to community not-for-profit organizations.

This group have a private messenger chat so that they can access volunteers quickly when someone has called in an injured animal. I put my hand up and I wanted to help. I was added to the private group chat as advised during my “induction.”

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All good so far.

Recently, a message came in via the group chat that help was needed, at a location, less than 1 km away from my place. The main rescuer, it went on to say, has a bad back and needs help lifting a cage. I am new at this task, but okay, I think, sure I can help. I indicate this on the group chat saying I can be there in a jiffy.

There is no response.

Just silence, which seems highly unusual, going by what I have read so far on past chat convos. So after ten minutes or so, I again message the group: “Look I am new at this, it would be my first rescue, but I can definitely help lift the cage and am in walking distance of the location.

The response is strange: “If you do want to help, you will have to contact Don.”

Me:Who is Don and how do I contact him?

After 10 minutes, the response comes: “I don’t give out other people’s phone numbers.”

I mull over this and think how, the devil, am I to help if I am not given the contact details of the person I need to contact.

So I give up. Maybe this group isn’t for me. They are clearly worried about privacy issues. Which frustrates me, well, it really pisses me off. I could discuss this later with the President, to clarify matters but right now I feel unsure if this is the right group for me in my retirement. It all seems a little too hard. Doesn’t it?

What do you think?

Privacy Issues

How many times have you, as an individual, listed your phone number on a internet sales purchase, delivery form, survey, hotel, tradesmen enquiry, or Covid declaration in a cafe, of late? If you are like me, it is all the darn time. So why are they frightened of giving out a number in a closed group within a private chat amongst volunteers who are all interested in helping animals, I wonder?

The irony is a week or so later, an unrelated email comes out with all and sundry’s email addresses listed. So much for privacy concerns.

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Has privacy issues gone so far as to block communication?*

*N.B. I am not advocating advertising your phone number publicly, as no one wants unfettered offers aka spam texts or messages that contain offers of enlargement medications, bitcoin or the opportunity to be the sole beneficiary of an inheritance from a stranger from Sierra Leone, do they? Me neither.

What pisses you off lately?

Here are 18 insignificant things that seriously piss people off – seriously!

What would you do, if you were me?

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95 thoughts on “What Pisses You Off?”

  1. I find your feeling and reaction entirely reasonable. This sort of BS puts people of wanting to get involved. I was forced to stop auditing a small local charity (zero risk) a few years back (which I was doing for free for a number of years) when rules were changed such that I had to have public liability insurance. It would have costs me thousands of dollars a year to get this .. That change (by a government body .. not the charity) pissed me off. Blame people’s increasing love for litigation, encouraged by the legal profession of course, and people not having to take to take responsibility for their own actions… always blame and sue someone else. Local kids recently built a few mud ramps in a park near my house over which the happily rode their bicycles until the council found out and removed the ramps, lest they be sued by parents if a kid scratched their knee!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is Nanny state madness, Albert, isn’t it? We are so frightened of the few that take advantage and rort the system, that the majority who are sensible have their liberties reduced.
      Thank you for your supportive comment and I would not blame you for not taking up the insurance. No wonder it is hard to get auditors for community groups these days. Bring back the days of home bake and home made lemonade stalls and throw caution to the wind. Pretty soon, they will be regulating what we do with our children in their back yard. No running under the sprinkler anymore…..sad.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish I could donate time to an animal shelter. As for this particular situation you describe, Amanda, I sincerely don’t know what to make of it. That’s truly odd. I suppose you can just let the group know you’re available if they need you – and, of course, only if you want to continue involvement with them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am still undecided at this stage. I have helped out since but not in the rescue area but rather in fundraising. That seems a bit safer, in regard to not needing phone numbers etc. but I am still unsure, Alejandro.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have experienced the same results and have given up. It was to do with a person who intended to self-harm. This person had lost the will to make contact with all the numerous organizations that always put the phone numbers up for those that seek help. Beyond Blue and many others.

    I rang one of those numbers and told them that there was someone in urgent need of help, I wanted to give the contact number of the person who need help and support to this mental help support organization.

    The answer was; ‘sorry but the person has to make the contact first on their own’. ‘We can’t make contact on our own because of privacy laws.’
    The only option then was to involve a hospital and an ambulance.

    Those privacy laws are overdone and must cost lots of lives.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really do wish common sense would prevail in certain circumstances. Now that rescuer could have needed time off with a sore back and more animals could have been left wanting. Much more serious is the account you give, where vulnerable people in crisis are largely ignored because they have to make contact. As if ambulance resources are not stretched enough. They are not crisis counsellors, yet they are placed in a position of being that, as you are. Thank you for trying, Gerard. It is sad the organizations let you down. What can we do to change this?

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  4. I don’t know, I feel that if people are seeking help, then it makes perfect sense to make the process as easy as possible for the helper, not make them jump through hoops. This would’ve infuriated me too.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for confirming my perspective, Stuart. I wonder if the group had experienced some issue through sharing details before. If they did, they should have briefed everyone in the induction. I had to have my membership ratified by the group, so they had all my details – so it can’t be a matter of trust. Mindless people unaware of the consequences of their militant stance, perhaps?

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  5. I’d be put off completely as well, although depending on my mood, i may have turned up to give a hand anyway & then gone off my nut at the powers that be for their dysfunctional procedures. So often in volunteer organisations there are too many leaders??? & as a result no help or those that actually do the job are nearly burnt out. I have had similar dealings with an animal welfare group where I live, I never got involved as the gossiping was ridiculously embarrassing, that group is no longer in our town so if we want help we have to contact the head office 5hrs away. I completely empathise with you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Linda. It is interesting reading that everyone concurs in regards to the group operations.
      That is so disappointing, Linda that you have no reliable friendly rescue groups nearby. You should start one up!
      I suppose some folks in these organisations do develop an ego in the name of wildlife warriors and gossip runs rife. They can do this ostensibly because they are all volunteers, not paid staff. But they cannot cry out for help on one hand, then ignore newcomers on the other. This group did allude to being guilty of letting newbies fall by the wayside, in the past so in hindsight, perhaps I should have paid more attention to that comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for asking this question. For me that which pisses me off is to be ignored WHEN I was given the impression I was wanted. In general feel free to ignore me all you want BUT if you have, say, open comments on your blog and then you stonewall or cherry pick who you reply to in your public comments… well, consider me pissed off about being ignored. Mixed messages are difficult to process which is what has happened to you in your group and me in the blogosphere.

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    1. Oh no Ally. Bloggers cherry picking comments? (Frantically hoping you don’t mean me?) WordPress stuffs up too, sometimes. I usually respond to comments via notifications and sometimes I miss a notification or want to write a lengthy response and do not want to do that on a tenny weeny phone keypad, so wait till I am at home on my desktop PC to respond. I would be horrified to think I have ignored someone who took the trouble to comment here.
      Like you said, mixed messages are difficult to process and I feel there must be some private discussion on another thread within this group. I am getting the feeling the consensus from commenters here is that this group need to get their act together.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. NO not you! You reply to all your comments from what I can see. Thank you.

        I’m talking about bloggers who have open comment sections then consistently ignore some commenters while replying to others, as if you have to be part of the right clique to be worthy of a reply. I’m not always on the outside btw– but when I see this behavior happening I am put off because it’s so mean girls. Like middle school all over again. And I lose respect for that blogger.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I totally agree that one would lose respect for that blogger, if they selectively responded by some distorted criteria. It seems very teen like behaviour. I don’t know how they can reconcile it in their minds to ignore someone. Tbh,
          I would be very surprised if an engaging witty conversationalist blogger like yourself could ever be ignored. Your posts and comments usually scream out to be replied to.
          So far, I have not come across any nasty types in the blogosphere, bar one random snarky commenter which I sent straight to spam. Eliminated on the first comment. No point wasting time on trolls. I wonder if it is payback for not visiting their blog frequently? Ah, who knows. They are not worth it.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I agree with you if someone is being mean-spirited then I delete the comment and into spam they go. I invite differing opinions from a real person with an online identity, but those made-up gravatar accounts are rubbish. Those people are trying to provoke, not engage. Kind of sad, really.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. It is important to make a distinction between those with a differing opinion or thought and those with an axe to grind who only wish to stir up trouble or put you down. You can learn from the former, but never from the latter.

              Liked by 1 person

  7. This seems more fussy than it should be. Is the only point of this chat to just know when help is needed? Waste of a chat function if it’s only an announcement page. In any case, it’s a private chat so I’m not sure why they want to be so secretive of Don. He seems to be the man that people should be able to get into contact with!
    Scanning QR codes to get into restaurants has been bugging me recently. I choose to have an older smart phone and mine doesn’t automatically pick up QR codes. I wish they would just bring back paper and pen where I can write my name and number down instead. I don’t have much trust that these websites are secure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess the pen and paper at the desk isn’t secure either, when they leave it out for customers to sign. But it should be an option in any case.
      Yes the group chat is the venue to ask for help. You are right about the fussing. I think ego might have crept in with some helpers.

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        1. Exactly! I think that is a shame. I always aim for inclusion where possible. Even recently, in a new social group where I have recently moved, I heard someone mention the term: ‘Inner circle.’ I thought this particular group was free of that. It is disappointing.

          Liked by 1 person

  8. I’d find another group to help unless someone explains what was really going on. You should get satisfaction from helping, otherwise you will probably resent the time spent with this group. I think it is marvelous that you want to help. Kudos to you!

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        1. Thank you Anne. I have since had another snarky remark/interaction from the group this morning and left that group chat. I am hoping the fundrising team are more mature. I am too old to deal with political egos in community groups. It is sad for the animals as they could the group could do quite well if the members could rise above its own egos.

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  9. Isn’t red tape a pain! I’d talk the episode over with the president. Maybe there’s some history. Perhaps you were dealing with someone who has had a bad experience in the past.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps, Peggy, but the President was on that same chat too, but said nothing at all. It seems that you have to be really pushy and proactive to get acknowledged. I did give a little feedback to one senior rescuer about establishing a buddy system for newbies, so they can get some experience, but not sure the group has the energy or mood to do that.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Lol. I assumed so but wanted to clarify. Arguments never take us anywhere. Yes. So right. They rarely make the person do what it is we want them to do, so what is their point? A mere venting.

          Liked by 1 person

  10. Well then, it looks like you won’t be helping after all. I said several years ago, customer service has long been on its death bed. I expect things not to go smoothly, so it makes me calmer when I try to get help. We are the navigators of our own customer service experience.

    To answer your question, it is people in leadership positions who do and say bigoted things. My worst pet peeve is “bigotry from the pulpit” as a minister, rabbi, imam, priest, etc. should be helping us be our better version, not the worst, version of our selves. While not in the pulpit, the US president would be included in this pet peeve, as he espouses a gospel of division and bigotry.

    Happy Thanksgiving, my favorite American holiday. Be safe. Be well.

    Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “We are the navigators of our own customer service experience.” Interesting, Keith. I imagine that this is the way we had best think of it. For the most part here, in our little economy, businesses have realised that the difference between buying from them or buying online is good customer service. Then, they are almost but not annoyingly over pleasant, asking always at the end of a transaction, is there anything else I can do for you? The poor young things working at the supermarket checkout are told they have to ask each and every customer how their day is going and for some, this is a chore as it is false and they do not really care. But it is manners and one can be polite. I once came across a bus driver who had a boring repetitive bus route. He greeted people entering and exiting the bus with a huge jolly smile and welcoming words that reminded me so much of Father Christmas. Everyone that got on that bus was smiling from head to toe. His jolliness was infectious. Not everyone can be like that, but it is a lesson for all. Being pleasant and polite is not hard. The odd few organizations that stand out as not “getting” this concept alienate the customer, or me at least. Those in privileged positions need to be beyond reproach, in my mind. A Priest who is duplicitous in his morals I would despise, as preaching morals is his bread and butter. Being a role model for others is something every inspirational leader knows and tries to practice. The outgoing President – well what can you say? He defies logic and decency amongst many other undesired traits. No role model there at all.
      I hope your Thanksgiving was safe and well. We do not have any kind of Thanksgiving here but as we have adopted Halloween of recent years, even that may come to pass.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well said. We had a great Thanksgiving, meeting outdoors at a park bringing finger food that did not require spooning out casseroles. One of our nieces made these little pumpkin (pie-like) tarts, eg. We think this may be the new tradition.

        I agree that good customer service should not be forced, it should be natural. I love the bus driver story. It reminded me of why one check out position had a long line – it was due to an Autistic bag boy. The CEO had visited the week before and said you represent our store, so treat people well. The boy took this to heart, so he and his mother wrote out little well wish sayings on a pieces of paper, which he inserted in everyone’s grocery bag. The people lined up to greet him and get his well wishes.

        As for the navigation part, I try to be my diplomatic best and am pleasant to all customer service people. They need a break, so being nicer will align their interests with yours. Being a jerk serves no one. The proverbial “you get more flies with honey.:

        Keith

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        1. Ah. A delightful account of inventiveness and initiative on the part of the autistic worker and his family. I love it. How wonderful that he is supported by customers to use his own initiative in his position to meet the store’s objectives. We can all learn from that. I imagine the happy smiles from the customers were a lovely reward.

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment, Hedy. Releasing one’s kindness. What a beautiful image that is. You have many volunteers in Alberta? Awesome. It is a popular concept in Australia too, but in some Scandinavian countries is frowned upon, in that if there is a job to do, someone should be paid to do it.

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  11. I’d be pissed off at this too. Either they want people to help or they don’t. Why not get all new volunteers to sign a simple form to say they’re happy for all contact details to be shared with everyone within the volunteer team? Or have a system whereby your offer to help can be forwarded to the mysterious Don?!

    As to what pisses me off, where do I start?! The first one on the Buzz Feed list you linked reminded me of a pet peeve – when a shop says an item has been discontinued due to ‘lack of demand’. After all, here I am, demanding it 😆

    More seriously, cyclists who ride on pavements (sidewalks to US readers), drivers who change lanes without signalling, people who over-promise and under-deliver, being on hold on a call for ages only to be cut off and have to start again, online forms that are impossible to fill in … I could go on! Oh, and peas – I hate peas 🤮

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly my thoughts on the mysterious Don matter, Sarah. I don’t know why such a simple offer was so problematic for them. That is really the most annoying and troubling thing. If they can’t problem solve this matter, what hope have they got of the bigger issues?
      “..being on hold on a call for ages only to be cut off and have to start again, online forms that are impossible to fill in,” I hear you loud and clear and support you in this complaint, Sarah. So very frustrating that so much of your time is wasted only to have to start again. But peas? My son would concur with you. He only allowed and would begrudgingly eat, seven peas on his dinner plate, as a child and would admonish me if there was more. Were you given them as a child or developed a dislike since then?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hated them as a child and refused to eat them even if made to stay at the table long after the rest of the family had finished their meal and left. In the end my mother had to admit defeat (the only food item on which she did that) and I was allowed to refuse them. Today I still hate the smell as well as the taste but can just about get a few down if lurking in a curry sauce or similar 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Sorry to hear about that Amanda. I know how frustrating it is to volunteer & have nothing come about. It’s happened to me too, where I sign up with great anticipation and then there’s only dead air. I think volunteer groups suffer from growth & expansion. Things that used to work with small groups where everyone knows each other, don’t work with bigger groups unless someone takes control and does basic admin & policy making. I don’t think anyone will complain about privacy concerns but clearly, no one’s been thinking it through.

    On your specific example, I bet that Don is part of a group that already knows each other and the app was just a call-out to them. Maybe if you hang around, you’ll have a chance to meet them and get to be part of the ‘in-crowd.’ Sounds like high school for retirees 🙂 Unlike HS though, you can always find another group.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I think you may be right, Sandy and that is why I hadn’t left before this. Intuitively, I got a sense it wasn’t right for me from the start but blocked that out. Missed emails, meeting time changes I wasn’t informed of, convos in another thread to the official one and the latest this morning a snarky comment to me are all red flags about their lack of trust in newcomers, despite supposedly needing them desperately; inflated egos, frustrated personalities and group politics. None of which I want to have to deal with in retirement. So I left the group chat rescue wing. The weekend brings a fundraising event that I am involved with. If that is no better, I am through. A younger me would persist, but I will walk away, if it is high school antics. I have plenty to do at home.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel it is of little use complaining. After another snide remark yesterday, I left the group chat. Hoping this weekend’s fundraising event is better, if not I will do just as you suggested. I am not stuck for things to do.

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  13. Well, you offer help and they seem don’t appreciate it. That’s impolite. You already said that you are new, so they should at least give you a clearer instruction. Even more impolite. Personally, I think you should leave the group. They have attitude problems, not privacy issues 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know Len, it is starting to become clear that you are absolutely right. Quite a few of the folks in this group seem embittered and perhaps they are traumatised from seeing injured or dead animals and have become hardened by that? Even so, the long term future of the organization is threatened if they do not address the attitude problem. I had always imagined people who assisted animals to be kind, but I have heard a similar story from a friend who volunteered at another animal rescue group. It makes me wary now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Just keep looking. There will be an organization that’s worth your time and effort 🙂 Maybe you are right about the resentment of those volunteers. But that doesn’t justify for their cold responses. You only wants to help. If they cannot be nice to fellow human beings, how can they help other species.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Does it, Chris? What a shame. I am sorry to hear that. I have not experienced it before. It is no wonder people get turned off from helping. Have you been through something like this too?

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      1. Both Paul and I used to do some volunteer work at an aged care facility. Some of the staff were really appreciative, but some wouldn’t give you the time of day. We stopped when Covid hit.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Volunteers make a big, big difference to the lives of some of the residents. The staff don’t have time to spend quality time with them, and think that’s what some of them resent. The staff are so over worked, and underpaid. If the government wants to do something to improve the conditions in care facilities they need to implement a pay system that reflects the work the staff do, and they need to up the staff levels. But don’t get me started…..

            Liked by 1 person

            1. That is an issue and always has been an issue in nursing homes and aged care facilities, Chris. I don’t know the answer. Some of the care is just abysmal and you would pay less staying at the Sheraton and ordering room service.

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              1. Personally I think the pay system is just one starting point. Next I think the medical system needs to stop keeping people alive past their use by date. And I think Western society needs to take responsibility for their own family with a hands on approach. But who has the time – we’d need to return to a 1950s world where households don’t require every member to be employed full time. And wants to return to a 1950s world. Oh for a magic wand!

                Liked by 1 person

              2. There are good aspects of having an extended family living under the one roof, if you have a well adjusted family. If you have disability or addiction issues, it could be hell on earth living under the one roog. But I do take your point, modern medicine has become so advanced that people no longer die of one lone cause, they die of a multiplicity of problems because medications and surgical interventions have prevented death that may have occurred earlier. But who wants to live as a deaf, crippled old coot for decades upon decades? A magic wand would be handy at times.

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  14. What’s the reason for a private chat group if contacts can’t be shared there! I’d be annoyed like you. And feel bad for the animals, as you wanted to help and couldn’t. Probably not the group for you.

    If I were you, I would voice my concerns to this group. Maybe they would/could improve their response from now on. Maybe they can make a file available with some key people’s phone numbers.

    Oh, it does piss me off when I get a group email where everyone’s email address (including mine) is clearly visible to all recipients.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sure I am not the first to complain, Liesbet, however I doubt that any written complaint or suggestion I made would even be tabled at their meetings when there is a systemic level of disorganisation happening. The core group will have to cope with themselves and the odd thick-skinned newbies that are able to navigate their systems. Many thanks for your supportive comment.
      How is your book launch going?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The pre-order of Plunge – which ends in two hours – has gone splendidly. My book has been a #1 release in sailing on Amazon since a few days after I put the book online. Ten 5-star reviews on Goodreads and more to follow (Amazon has been slow to post reviews). It’s been well received by ARC readers. The launch happens tomorrow. More prep today, so I’m all ready for my big day. Exciting!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I loved it… very well written… keep it up… I’ve followed you..I hope to see some more amazing stuff by you.. 😊 Please checkout my blog too… I hope you’ll have a good time reading them… lots of love.. 😊

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      1. If not, we should have. I was away for a while and just came back to blogging in earnest after I got rid of my WordPress.org blog. The other thing wrong with that was that I didn’t get nearly as many comments, and I love the conversations. 🙂 Anyway forgive me if I didn’t recognize you. What’s your first name?

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