bridge effects
blogging, Motivational, Philosophy

Words to Ponder About

Life is like a mirror; we get the best results when we smile.

So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems.

Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.

Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.

I don’t have any record of who said these words, but they resonated with me today. The power of giving or receiving a genuinely kind smile, is often under-estimated.

Smiling is an art that comes from the heart and should be practised all the time.

Denise Lofthouse, Yoga Teacher

92 thoughts on “Words to Ponder About”

    1. I frown when I am concentrating, Alison, so I also have to consciously relax my eyebrows and jaws. Smiling produces endorphins and who wouldn’t want them.

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    1. Saying: You should smile more often – seems like it is a little judgey. It might be better to explore gently why the person isn’t smiling as much as the other person thinks. Both comments seem to make me think that the person that it is said to, is feeling a little down and this is showing on their face. Our face betray our inner emotions, Manja.
      What is your opinion of the comments?
      And thank you for asking the questions!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I haven’t been asked this. It’s impossible. On the contrary, people have asked me if I smiled all the time. But I’ve heard it mentioned often, mostly online, and people – women – who keep getting asked or suggested this seem to really hate it. To me this suggestion sounds really moronic: you smile or you don’t. It’s like telling someone they should really have blue eyes.

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        1. Yes, it is an outdated statement that doesn’t quite help any situation, these days.
          Conversely, though, it is so lovely to hear that people ask you if you smile all the time. That has an altogether different feel. What a beautiful compliment. Now I will always see a smiling Manja in my mind, when I see your name!

          Liked by 1 person

        1. I think you have had much nicer & more polite relatives Amanda 🙂 I remember old aunties & grannies making these thoughtless comments with no consideration at all. It wasn’t necessarily mean, just thoughtless. As if their inhibition switch was switched-off. Actually, I’ve noticed that as some people get older, they say things they’d never say before – a sign of senility or maybe just entitlement.

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          1. An interesting point you make about older generations, Sandy. I do know a few who might be quite blunt in their comments but generally they hold their tongue here. I wonder why? Is it the expectation that if you are family, it is okay to be what others might consider rude behaviour? Would these Aunt say these things to someone who wasn’t family?

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            1. Since they were often Chinese aunties the answer is yes. Aunty and Uncle are terms of respect rather family relationship. It’s all good though. The same people who’d comment on your baby fat would also prod you to eat more and give you sweeties. It’s very cultural. All these old folks are gone now, so I guess it’s up to me to carry on the tradition … or not 😉

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              1. Carry on some of the old traditions yes, whilst being mindful of sensitivities that evolve in society. I dislike it when age old practices are judged harshly by future generations as they cannot possibly walk in the shoes of previous generations, but when it is obvious what the direct ramifications of being rude and blunt about personal appearances might be, they might hold back.

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          1. A good point about the level of sweetness. Once upon a time, I would never have eaten cake at breakfast time. Then I went to Italy! Their cakes were too tempting.

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            1. Amanda, as we have retired, we eat just about anything for breakfast – leftover pizza, rice, mac-n-cheese, meat loaf, etc. My wire makes a great sour cream pound cake, which is the go to breakfast cake here. We have never been to Italy and that sound wonderful. Keith

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              1. I think Italy, whilst some areas are quiet touristy, has loads to offer, particularly if you like history. The food is something else. I suppose Paris might give them some competition, but I am not that partial to the sensory overload of French cuisine. But Italians food is wholesome, filling and delicious! Much like your wife’s sour cream pound cake sounds like. Would she be kind enough to share her recipe?

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    1. That phrase is quite powerful, Mamma Squirrel. I think in re-framing experiences and times when things are less than perfect.
      And we can smile behind the masks and folks will see that in our eyes!

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    1. The power of having a smiley attitude, PtP. You clearly understand what that means. It is sometimes really difficult to do in a heartfelt way when we are grieving, and we must allow time to grieve. You are strong to do this in spite of the tragedy unfolding close to your home.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Lovely! I am so glad to hear it. That makes me smile even more! Thanks fro the beautiful comment, Southernpatches! I went to look at your blog so I could know your name but wordpress gives me an error when I try clicking on your gravatar.

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    1. Sometimes it is difficult to keep smiling when things are tough, Ang. We do not want to force a smile, but I have done so at certain times and it does seem to have a beneficial effect as long as I have been the one saying it to myself. If someone else says it, the effect seems to be the opposite. Our face belies our true emotions and the more we look sad, the more sad we feel and the more we seem to attract sadness in our lives. Noone wants to attract sadness.

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  1. Certainly, smiles make everyone look more friendly and approachable. There’s a danger in that though … I used to go on photo-walks with my friend and because we were carrying cameras, we’d be constantly approached to take pictures of people beside a monument or scene. My friend who was much friendlier looking than me, got asked all the time!

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      1. They’d hand over their camera or phone and ask for a photo. More times than not, they’d ask my friend 🙂 Even when they were already in a crowd of other tourists, they’d step away & approach us. I think it was because we had cameras (maybe bigger cameras) & they were hoping for better pictures 🙂

        Occasionaly, I have had people ask me to take pictures of them on my camera. In Cuba, I a group of school girls followed me around, just so I could take photos of them. After than particular trip, the organizer sent back prints of all the people we’d taken, so maybe the girls knew what to expect. FYI in Cuba there’s an embargo on imports, so many things that we take for granted (photos, clothing, shoes etc.) are hard to come by.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ah the Cuban girls had a motive to their request! I was not familiar with the embargo. I am sure that all of them considered you professional with a large camera. We all make that assumption and your photos of people prove that their assumption is correct! You take excellent photos, and use angles to advantage!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Love all the quotes on smiling. My son even bought a mask with the painted on smile of the Hulk, his favorite childhood character. (The green man). He’s very playful and his spouse rarely smiles. I’ve always been a smiley person no matter how rough my day is going. I agree that a smile is undervalued. When Bells Palsy paralyzed my face, I could no longer express a real smile. I often say that of all the things I’ve lost in life, I miss my smile the most. I have a little smile now, mostly with my eyes but it took a lot of facial therapy to get even a little one again. I would be annoyed if someone said I should smile more or I was prettier when I smiled. Now saying you have a pretty smile isn’t as awful but trust me when I say it’s a sideways compliment. I’m always smiling on the inside. 🙂

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    1. Marlene, you know more than most the value of a smile, given that you were unable to do it for medical reasons. The universe can sometimes be cruel to take away something you were so good at doing and valued. Howver, I love that you can smile through your eyes! The eyes are the window to the soul and although your mouth may not be fully cooperating, your eyes will do the job.
      And I do believe that you are smiling on the inside. I loved your blog when I first came across it, and that smile came through in every post you wrote! 🙂
      Have a wonderful weekend, my dear friend.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. The quiche recipe is simple but delicious. I might share on my Home by the Sea blog. Prawns on the barbeque? There is nothing more perfect for a Sunday barbeque! I have some in the freezer awaiting my attention. Do you baste them with anything?

          Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s so funny isn’t it when we are concentrating on what we are doing our smile gets lost. lol. Love the merry go round, I wanna play. I don’t tend to do the big smile as people are quite judgemental on first impressions, I have teeth issues I’ve had my whole adult life so I have been judged & treated cruelly at times. I don’t have a spare $10000+ to get them fixed, who does. I was quite disgusted with humanity when the masks were mandatory I had all sorts of people stop & have a chat but not anymore. Now the masks are off people are actually showing their true colours. The positive in all this smiling is I have beautiful friends who looked past my “not normal” smile & love me for who I am. I hope you have a smiley wonderful Sunday that carries on into the coming week.

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    1. Oh Linda, it is hard with anyone who feels self-conscious about their face/smile, to feel liberated enough to smile without feeling the sting of potential rejection.
      I remember when my daughter was sick in hospital, there was another patient, a small child with a huge facial deformity. My daughter was small and I walked up to this family and greeted them saying my daughter loved other kids and started chatting like there was nothing amiss. I could tell the grandparent was having trouble accepting the situation and her face gave away the shame she felt. although this child had the most beautiful natured parents who were genuine in their love for the child and they face exuded nothing but love. We had a wonderful conversation. My daughter accepted this child without question due to her young age. How sad that it changes as we age and criticism of anyone who is different creeps in due to our own fears. But teeth! Rejection makes one feel embarrassed and shameful. I hope that you will not be ashamed to smile because of your teeth. Your radiance shows through in your words and no doubt it will show through in your smile showing a different point of view for the critical person to consider. If they do not accept your smile, smile even wider for those who do accept you!
      Have a wonderful week. Stay warm. Cold out your way?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks so much neighbour friend for your kindness. What a beautiful family you are children can be less judge mental. I had a bloke behind me at the registers start chatting to me, when I smiled & replied he immediately stopped talking to me, I was a little shocked but as I packed up my groceries & went to leave. I tapped him on the shoulder smiled even bigger & told him no matter how rude & nasty he was to have a nice day anyway, he looked disappointed with himself I walked off smiling. Hopefully it gave him food for thought.
        It is a little freezing at night 1c the days are mild, we finally have rain today. You stay warm too & have a wonderful week yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It sounds like you might have gotten through the judgemental shell that guy had. What a dork to be worried about teeth!!
          1degree C is cold especially as you don’t even get snow to make it fun. I suppose there is a frost?

          Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel it is important to express how we feel but it has been shown physiologically a smile does help, even only a little.
      Thanks for your welcome comment. May I ask what part of the world do you hail from? I am from Australia.

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  4. Smile and wave at the situations and people which are not in your control. With one smile, a person can divert heated arguments that might turn into huge fights. So yeah, something even when you don’t feel like smiling, it still turns out to be helpful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really like your attitude to heated arguments, Yashi! I think it would work fantastically, although I would have to try hard not to show my serious face!
      Something was mentioned to me recently. It was a workplace situatione where a boss was reprimanding a junior employee. The boss was ranting a bit and the employee smiled, and this infuriated the boss even more. The boss then raged that she knew the junior disliked her, and although the junior denied it, the boss did not believe her. The boss saw the junior as being insolent, so I think there may be certain people who don’t react well to a smile, but I am not one of them! I am all for smiling! It releases endorphins which can only increase happiness and cast aside worrying or anxious feelings. Great comment, thanks so much!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it takes time and practice to smile when all your mind is doing is coming up with the savage replies you can throw on person’s face.
        Also, the smile shouldn’t give the vibe that you are smiling at a fool to end the argument but that of a calm and patient human who is trying to stay out of the fight.
        Thank you for sharing this incident, my mind is continuously wondering how I could’ve reacted in that situation if I was in place of that junior.

        Liked by 1 person

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