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Which Aussie Workmate Name Are You and Brilliant Baby Hack?

Australian men are known for it. They’ve turned it into an art form.

If your name is Robert, I’ll apologise now, because you’ll never ever be called Robert, when you set foot in Australia.

I am serious.

You may be called, Rob, Robbo, Bob, Bobby, Bert, or worse. But not Robert.

If your name is Harrison or Edward, you can kiss goodbye to hearing that name too. You’ll be Harry, Hazza and Eddie, Ed, Ted, The Tedstar, Teddy, Wardy or worse.

N.B. If your name is long, Australians will shorten it, if your name is already short like Todd, you can bet your life, Aussies will lengthen it to Toddie, Toddster or something that rhymes with Todd.

I once worked with a guy who was named Brendan, but his mates called him, “Slug.” My enquiries as to why he was called after a shell-less terrestrial gastropod, were left unanswered.

Tradesmen and workers on construction sites are rarely addressed by their birth name. Instead, industry gets creative. Especially in construction. Often derogatory, a nickname should be taken as a sign of acceptance and friendship, and isn’t intended to be offensive.

Generally, however, nicknames are a sign of affection and mocking humour in Australia. A bit like a caricature. Designed to instigate a chuckle or two. Although I have wondered if the names might serve a dual purpose? A covert way of referring to the boss or colleagues on the work site?

Warning: Politically Incorrect Humour following. It is all in fun, cos, well, we all need a laugh these days.

Nicknames for Workmates in Australia

Example Australian Nicknames:

  • Perth – he’s always 3 hours behind everyone else
  • Noodles – thinks all jobs take 2 minutes
  • Wheelbarrow – only works when pushed
  • Cordless – charges all night but only works for 2 hours
  • 2-Stroke (lawn mower) – hard to start and always smoking
  • Deck Chair – folds under pressure
  • G – Spot – you can never find him
  • Sensor Light – only works when someone walks past
  • Blister – appears when the hard work is done
  • Show bag – full of shit
  • Pothole – always in the road
  • Olympic torch – never goes out
  • Dentist – always filling in for others
  • 10 mm Socket – can never be found when you need him
  • Wicket Keeper – puts on the gloves, then stands back
  • Limo – carries 8 other people
  • Kinder Surprise – melts in the heat
  • Stingrays – stand around with hands on hips (aka safety officers)

I have worked with a few Olympic torches, one or two Blisters and definitely a Limo.

We have probably all worked with a few show bags from time to time!

The guy in the photo might even be in danger of being nicknamed, ‘Call Centre’ – always on the phone!

Do you recognise any of your work colleagues on the list?

Funny Way to Keep Baby Asleep

Entirely unrelated but just had to share this reel I came across on Insta.

I so needed this 31 years ago!

Keep Smiling!

126 thoughts on “Which Aussie Workmate Name Are You and Brilliant Baby Hack?”

      1. Haha! As I did with all. I could evaluate my execs “performance” almost on a daily basis, at least on a project by project basis. I worked very closely with them. (And my goal was for them to be able to express all their potential)
        So if I detected someone was… slacking, I’d be more observant. Then call him/her in my office. Review positives and negatives, and offer solutions for the negatives. Then after a month or two, hold another meeting in my office. Review progress. Congrats. Keep at it. Or lack of. In that case, “last warning”.
        If last warning was not… listened to, third meeting. I gave you two opportunities. You didn’t take your chance. You’re fired. Here’s your check. Sign here.
        Am I a hard case? 😉

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        1. No, I don’t think you were or are a hard case, Brian. It sounds like you were an effective manager. You discussed, explored options, gave suggestions and followed up. If the employee couldn’t take the hint at that point, they would never improve. It is not easy to fire someone, but it sounds like you did it cleanly and properly, without regret. For you, why pander to someone (bleed money), who can’t capitalise or do the job, unless there was good reason.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Exactly. It has to do with the sources of power (French & raven) which I learnt in Grad school. (One of the 5 best things I learnt) Two of the main sources are Reward and Coercion, or punishment. Reward is a much better source of Power. When an employee does well, reward him or her, praise – in public – 😉. But when s/he starts slipping, give adequate feedback. I even fired one of my long-time trusted execs. She’d screwed up a project. Bad. Which was not the problem. Problem was she wouldn’t admit she’d screwed up. So I fired her.
            (And hired her back six months later. She’d learnt the lesson)
            Be good Amanda/Astrid.

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            1. It is sounding like a good Manager has to have a range of people skills not the least is a grasp on psychology motivations. I had not thought about this aspect in terms of bosses who had or who didn’t have this skill. I see them in a different light now.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Good managers have very good people skills. The best Boss I ever had – woman BTW – had fantastic people skills. I learnt a lot from her. She of course was also very manipulative. Which I detected early on. I told her. She laughed. We got along well. But I sometimes had to detect her ploys. (And scheme some of my own.) 🤣

                Liked by 1 person

              2. Brian, I admire anyone with advanced people skills and no doubt this boss was skilled but manipulative. That makes me wary. I could never trust such a person.

                Liked by 1 person

              3. Nah. She was ok. Once I’d “decoded” some of her schemes, I’d tell her “You trying to manipulate me again?” She’d laugh and say “Yes. I tried.” She really was my best Boss ever, even if we did not always see eye to eye.

                Liked by 1 person

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