blogging

Which Aussie Workmate Name Are You and Brilliant Baby Hack?

Forestwood

Australian men are known for it. They’ve turned it into an art form.

If your name is Robert, I’ll apologise now, because you’ll never ever be called Robert, when you set foot in Australia.

I am serious.

You may be called, Rob, Robbo, Bob, Bobby, Bert, or worse. But not Robert.

If your name is Harrison or Edward, you can kiss goodbye to hearing that name too. You’ll be Harry, Hazza and Eddie, Ed, Ted, The Tedstar, Teddy, Wardy or worse.

N.B. If your name is long, Australians will shorten it, if your name is already short like Todd, you can bet your life, Aussies will lengthen it to Toddie, Toddster or something that rhymes with Todd.

I once worked with a guy who was named Brendan, but his mates called him, “Slug.” My enquiries as to why he was named after a shell-less terrestrial gastropod, were left unanswered.

Tradesmen and workers on construction sites are rarely addressed by their birth name. Instead, industry gets creative. Especially in Australia. Often derogatory, a nickname should be taken as a sign of acceptance and friendship, and isn’t intended to be offensive.

Generally, however, nicknames are a sign of affection and mocking humour in Australia. A bit like a caricature. Designed to instigate a chuckle or two. Although I have wondered if the names might serve a dual purpose? A covert way of referring to the boss or colleagues on the work site?

Warning: Politically Incorrect Humour following. It is all in fun, cos, well, we all need a laugh these days.

Nicknames for Workmates in Australia

Example Australian Nicknames:

  • Perth – he’s always 3 hours behind everyone else
  • Noodles – thinks all jobs take 2 minutes
  • Wheelbarrow – only works when pushed
  • Cordless – charges all night but only works for 2 hours
  • 2-Stroke (lawn mower) – hard to start and always smoking
  • Deck Chair – folds under pressure
  • G – Spot – you can never find him
  • Sensor Light – only works when someone walks past
  • Blister – appears when the hard work is done
  • Show bag – full of shit
  • Pothole – always in the road
  • Olympic torch – never goes out
  • Dentist – always filling in for others
  • 10 mm Socket – can never be found when you need him
  • Wicket Keeper – puts on the gloves, then stands back
  • Limo – carries 8 other people
  • Kinder Surprise – melts in the heat
  • Stingrays – stand around with hands on hips (aka safety officers)

I have worked with a few Olympic torches, one or two Blisters and definitely a Limo.

We have probably all worked with a few show bags from time to time!

The guy in the photo might even be in danger of being nicknamed, ‘Call Centre’ – always on the phone!

Do you recognise any of your work colleagues on the list?

Funny Way to Keep Baby Asleep

Entirely unrelated but just had to share this reel I came across on Insta.

I so needed this 31 years ago!

Keep Smiling!

Published by Forestwood

A philosophic Aussie writes here at StPA, one who will readily admit to loving Scandinavia. I'm interested in global politics and what drives us to be who we are. Scratch the surface and you'll find a practical Environmentalist with an egalitarian bent, trying to unleash a little creativity via the written word. Scandinavian culture, literature and traditions are close to my heart, even though I'm Australian. Travel and courteous discussions greatly broaden the mind, so I travel if I can and am always up for a vigorous, respectful discussion. I'm an avid reader, a writer and I enjoy photography and crafts, particularly traditional art forms. I hope you'll find 'Something to Ponder About,' in my WordPress Community.

135 thoughts on “Which Aussie Workmate Name Are You and Brilliant Baby Hack?”

  1. You have to understand one thing about men, Amanda. We often call each other names to express a unique sense of friendship; a strange sort of love and affection. It’s just the way we are. Sometimes the affection can be brutal, but we always hurt the ones we love!

    Liked by 5 people

      1. We had less intense relationships at work. However, in sports and friendships, there were men who had goofy names for each other and regularly insulted each other in a good natured way.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. My friend in Queanbeyan has kept his name and insists on it. I call him Pug but that’s another story. I am in love with the cat toy patting the babe’s bottom to help him sleep. It seems like a splendid idea.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. The toy is a fun idea Zazzy but also eminently practical for the Mum whose bub will not sleep easily. I had many moments patting bubs to sleep. I could have used this toy and gotten more sleep for myself!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t remember hearing any of those names while working but then I wasn’t privy to the male bonding thing. I think they do the same thing in the military. A friend of my husband was named Charles and they called him Chuckles. There were other’s but my mind is mush these days. My dad would give each of the kids or grandkids a nickname. My son was roadrunner, my nephew was schnicklefritz. My sister was Suzy Q and I won’t tell you what mine was. Men do have an odd way of bonding. But at least they do bond. Fun post.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Hi – it is so interesting that you would ask that because we were just watching the Netflix Minimalism shows this week (2016 and 2021) and in the 2021 show – a lady was saying that she bought a bunch of gadgets and thought that was what would help her get her baby to sleep – and then she said something like she realized it is just hard to get them to sleep and we can’t buy out way out of some things that are just hard (something like that) and the hubs and I both said that while she made a great point and that advice could cross into other areas (like we don’t get delivered from things as sometimes the gift is to grit it through) but we both were shocked at how hard she implied it was to put a baby down??
        Because no Amanda, we really didn’t have hard to settle children (and my step daughter doesn’t either) –
        Maybe it was because we had a book routine early on – like infants and reading time – I don’t know – but my sister and her husband had one child that was hard to settle down and get to sleep and they drove him around the neighborhood! Hahaha
        It worked
        And my hubs said that when his daughter was an infant (I bet her when she was almost three) he used one of those backpacks to walk her around the house…
        😊
        what about you?

        Like

      2. The boys were pretty hard to settle as they had colic and reflux – in those days they didn’t know it was related to food intolerances. They still have dodgy guts as adults! Certain foods trigger them. My daughter was better at sleeping earlier on.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks for sharing! Those early years were so special – and even tho we had it relatively easy when it came to bedtime and naps- whew / there can be exhausting years early on!
        I remember when one when I was so tired and had a toddler with a cold and it was so hard to stay awake – I jokingly said I needed toothpicks for my eyes – lol but I remember that exhausted feeling from some of the early years

        Like

      4. I remember carrying them around trying to get them to sleep. Pacing up and down the hallway over and over. The babies seemed to sense when you dared to lean against the wall for a rest. Let alone sit down. As soon as you did, mine started screaming. They loved movement.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I remember when son 2 was about three months and was miserable in the middle of the night – I gave him a little thigh massage and it was magical! That memory stayed with me because it reminded me the power of touch – and I told him the story a couple times.
        Funny how out of thousands of nights we have a few memories stay with us!
        And you reminded me how they do love that movement – and I remember recently giving a baby back to his mom and I was still swaying a little – hahaha

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Oh the automatic swaying! I became so used to swaying when bub cried, I would begin to sway back and forth when holding the supermarket trolley with bub in the seat, when I was waiting in the checkout queue. Haha!
        Babies love that power of touch via massages. Such a lovely way to bond.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I spent a couple of years working with Ron Casey at TCN9, where we produced “Wide World of Sports”. In those days a regular commentator on any tennis was Ross Case. You’re so right: Ron was “Case” and Ross was “Case-ie”. :\

    Liked by 2 people

    1. How confusing! I do remember both of those guys. I saw Ross Case play tennis a few times in Brisbane. I remember he was quite good looking!
      What was your nickname?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn”t have one. Casey (Ron), my boss, used to call me “Margaret Rose” nervously .. We did WWoS live on Sunday mornings, and had a marvellous time in studio, where I was god. We had such fun ! .. sorry, got carried away ..

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Gosh – I just found that I didn’t reply to your comment here. How rude! So sorry, Margaret! The nickname thing for workmates is fun and I did assume that it was in part derivative from the English in some way as our accent has been derived from different English speakers. So, it seems the self-deprecating humourous nicknames such as these are purely Aussie!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. You can’t be surprised that someone with the nickname Knicker Elastic (eklastic is a portmanteau of this monicker) likes your post! Our nicknames (a running group that in terms of traditions seems to be related to rugby clubs) are bit more raunchy than the one you cite, unfortunately also more blunt. I like the names with a little bit finesse. Like being called Knicker Elastic because you asked that your name to be “short and snappy”.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Normally if you ask for a particular nickname, the group makes it an especially awful one, one that you definitely cannot tell your mother. My first nick was just long and cumbersome and I asked that it might be changed (in a long poem, I think that was my saving grace). I was very lucky but I don’t think I knew it at the time. 😄

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No – the other way round. They give your REALLY REALLY crazy (and lude) names. And if you say you don’t like it they think of something worse. We have quite a lot of balls: Automatic Balls, Orange Balls, Love Balls, Ball Scratcher, Ball Licker – you get the idea. These are the tamer versions. We have a Coitus interruptus, a *”ing Intense (yes, she once told a story about her last camping trip). As I said, very rugby-erian.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Well, with tens of thousands of hashers world-wide, now and throughout the years, and people really wanting an original name … although I now quite a few Cunning Lasses and Fat Bastards.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. They are used all the time. There are many hashers where I do not know their proper name. The names are often shortened, though, most people call me “Knicker(s)”, my husband is referred to as “Lecher” and only in formal situations with his full name “Lecher Magoo”. I know this sounds weird but one of the reasons behind it (besides the fun) is that any hierarchy existing in the normal world is not to be carried into the group.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. You say that these nicknames are not meant to be offensive, but frequently they actually are. That is the nature of Australian male bonding. A great sign of mateship is being able to say something highly offensive to your mate and know that he won’t be offended. That is why an Australian man will frequently greet a close male friend with the phrase, “Hey! How are you, you stupid cunt?”
    (I also understand that certain sensibilities from other nationalities may find my own comment highly offensive, which it is certainly not meant to be. Feel free to delete it.)

    Liked by 2 people

      2. And speaking of Australian sporting nicknames I believe Mark Waugh, of Australian cricket fame, has had his nickname ‘junior’ from teenage years, based on the fact that he was born a couple of minutes after his twin brother, Steve, of similar fame. He would be in his mid fifties now, but is still addressed as ‘Junior’ or ‘June’.

        Like

      3. Some nicknames never die! No matter how old you are! Especially ones given by family members. I should have mentioned how prevalent nicknames are in sport as well as construction, in Australia.

        Like

      1. I would have to agree to disagree here 😂 I work with many female nurses in Sydney who like shorten or lengthen boys names. I’m Wayne but I get called Wayners or Wayno.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I’ve never heard these Australian nicknames, but they are memorable. I’m not aware of people doing anything like that here. In fact my husband and I joke that every other man in this city is named Bob. No formal Robert, no cute Bobbie– just Bob.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. This was a fun post. And yes, yes, yes, what is it with men and the shortening of names except if it’s short in which case they lengthen it! The Husband is cricketer and I’ve noticed this at the club.
    I work in a female dominated workplace so we don’t see so much of the nicknames although I have a fondness for bestowing them affectionately on the kids. 😁

    That baby hack is genius. Like you, I so wish I’d had that when my boys were babies. I just think of all the nights I could have been sleeping instead of standing by the cot patting a small bottom.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Why didn’t we invent something like that, way back when, Heather? Did your boys have colic/reflux?
      Those sleepless nights might have taken years off our life, but they were worth it.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I laughed through just about every one of those names. Two stroke is my favourite. We always had a few of those time wasters on site.
    I have another one for you, “glory seeker”. The guy that shows up late, but just in time to pounds in the last nail at the end of the job.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I thought the names were very witty and laughed at the ‘show bag!’ Two strokes – gosh: they seemed to come out of the woodwork when smoking indoors was banned. Every ten minutes, off outside for a smoke. My husband was good at that when the baby started crying!! The glory seeker might also be present on a few construction sites here, Kevin. That’s a good one to add to the list.

      Like

    1. Useful names to store away inside our minds, Janis. Speaking them out loud probably wouldn’t be received in jest! In Australia, it is socially acceptable, but perhaps not in many other countries.

      Like

  19. Here in Bali, at school we usually call (only students know) our teachers as subject they teach, like Mister geography, mister religion, madam art, and other subjects. In the village, people nickname other as their looks, like turus if he is like a slender long tree, moleh if she is chubby girl, putih if she has white skin. Sometimes we dont know their real name.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That is fascinating, Wayan and an interesting insight into life in Bali. What happens though if you have two Mister Geographies. How do you distinguish between the two?

      Liked by 1 person

  22. My Parents named me Noel, (short form of Emmanuel, in French, I believe; Both my parents ‘were’ from Pondicherry). My companions in the North (India) used to call me ‘No-Ill?’ 🙂 God save us.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Great blog! This really made me laugh. It is so spot on. Although in Australia, it isn’t just names that get shortened. Any word can become targeted 😉. I’ve heard a lot since living in Sydney, ambo for ambulance, reggo for registration, chardy for Chardonnay, savvy blanc for Sauvignon Blanc…the list goes on and on. I think it’s hilarious 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh yes, I see you are learning our language!! We are inherently lazy you know and feel it is too much effort to pronounce the whole word! It is the heat that does it, of course! Lol.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree that with close friends and family, nicknames are a sign of affection! Even the derogatory nicknames that the workmen here tend to use are a sign of camaraderie and friendship. This has been noted by Eklastic in her running group too – which whilst her group is based in Germany, the group is international. Her recent comment indicates that it is also a good way to prevent any hierarchy from developing as some of the names can be lewd or shocking!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Fun post! I remember Australian friends having nicknames for many things, like cosie for a swimsuit (it took me a long time to figure that out, swimming costume). And what about women’s nicknames?

    Liked by 2 people

  28. These nicknames are hilarious. None of my Australian coworkers ever used them, though. I feel like I missed out. (And the names they did use would get my comment tossed by WP.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! The nicknames are more often used in the construction or very male dominated industries. We are, indeed though, known to fling about swear words, willy- nilly. I blame our rebellious Irish heritage. Lol. The British sent loads of political dissidents here in the colonial days. Most new Australians have at least one or two Irish ancestors.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. So funny & educational too 🙂 Seems like names by association is a unique feature of the English, just like cockney rhyming slang which is incomprehensible to anyone else.

    I could understand most of the slang but not “Pothole – always in the road.” What does being in the road mean?

    Like

    1. Oh, cockney rhyming slang is crazy! My mum’s husband was British and I was just fascinated every time he told us what this and that meant. I can’t even repeat any of it because it was just mind-boggling! Aussie slang is, in my mind, a notch more of the “you had to have been there” type of humour

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Haha, Sandy. If you are in someone’s, “road” you are blocking their path, so you have to walk or drive around them. You might say, “come on, get outta the road, ” if someone is standing in a doorway you want to go through and doesn’t automatically stand aside for you to pass! Potholes are always in the road and we have to steer around them as the try to block our way.
      I think the cockney rhyming slang was used here in past years – mostly again in male dominated trades. Like: Steak n Kidney to refer to Sydney or the ‘trouble and strife,’ to refer to the ‘wife,’
      It is a not really p.c. anymore and rarely heard.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aahh! Now I get it. This reminds of when I was in Singapore. Even though folks spoke English they sprinkled it local idioms that didn’t make sense to me. I’d understand 70% of what they’d say and give up on the rest 🙂

        Like

      2. Although each place has its own vernacular is surprising that it prevents English speakers’ understanding of 30 % , Sandy! That’s a lot of information to miss. Makes communication more difficult.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It’s surprising how much/little language is needed for functional communication. A lot can be said by facial or body language. If you think about shopping for food, how much do you really need to talk?

        That extra 30% is really missed in the non-essential, social interactions – chit chatting, joking around, complaining, swearing … and as in your examples, disguised insults 😉

        Like

      4. I can see that you would miss that 30% especially with sarcasm and humour. Which often doesn’t even translate well. It is always hard to believe that 93% of our communication is non-verbal! I used to work with clients who were non-verbal and in those instances, you could communicate regarding basic needs and emotions without words.

        Liked by 1 person

  30. What an adorable baby slapper 😀 I did need a bit of a giggle. And I confess to having been a Sensor Light during my more unmotivated office days – funny enough, working from home (à la pandemic) has made me a better worker, I don’t even remember to take breaks anymore and have lunch by the computer!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad to give up a giggle, Snow. I think many workers try to look busy on a quiet day when the boss is hanging around.
      I do believe workers can be more productive when they w.f.h., although there would be some who slack off! Perhaps at home there is not such a need to take a break from the desk and other workers to relax in the lunch room and eat. You should take a break away from your desk though for your own health.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! As I did with all. I could evaluate my execs “performance” almost on a daily basis, at least on a project by project basis. I worked very closely with them. (And my goal was for them to be able to express all their potential)
        So if I detected someone was… slacking, I’d be more observant. Then call him/her in my office. Review positives and negatives, and offer solutions for the negatives. Then after a month or two, hold another meeting in my office. Review progress. Congrats. Keep at it. Or lack of. In that case, “last warning”.
        If last warning was not… listened to, third meeting. I gave you two opportunities. You didn’t take your chance. You’re fired. Here’s your check. Sign here.
        Am I a hard case? 😉

        Like

      2. No, I don’t think you were or are a hard case, Brian. It sounds like you were an effective manager. You discussed, explored options, gave suggestions and followed up. If the employee couldn’t take the hint at that point, they would never improve. It is not easy to fire someone, but it sounds like you did it cleanly and properly, without regret. For you, why pander to someone (bleed money), who can’t capitalise or do the job, unless there was good reason.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Exactly. It has to do with the sources of power (French & raven) which I learnt in Grad school. (One of the 5 best things I learnt) Two of the main sources are Reward and Coercion, or punishment. Reward is a much better source of Power. When an employee does well, reward him or her, praise – in public – 😉. But when s/he starts slipping, give adequate feedback. I even fired one of my long-time trusted execs. She’d screwed up a project. Bad. Which was not the problem. Problem was she wouldn’t admit she’d screwed up. So I fired her.
        (And hired her back six months later. She’d learnt the lesson)
        Be good Amanda/Astrid.

        Like

      4. It is sounding like a good Manager has to have a range of people skills not the least is a grasp on psychology motivations. I had not thought about this aspect in terms of bosses who had or who didn’t have this skill. I see them in a different light now.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Good managers have very good people skills. The best Boss I ever had – woman BTW – had fantastic people skills. I learnt a lot from her. She of course was also very manipulative. Which I detected early on. I told her. She laughed. We got along well. But I sometimes had to detect her ploys. (And scheme some of my own.) 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Brian, I admire anyone with advanced people skills and no doubt this boss was skilled but manipulative. That makes me wary. I could never trust such a person.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Nah. She was ok. Once I’d “decoded” some of her schemes, I’d tell her “You trying to manipulate me again?” She’d laugh and say “Yes. I tried.” She really was my best Boss ever, even if we did not always see eye to eye.

        Liked by 1 person

  32. Pingback: Potatoes and Desperately Danish – Something to Ponder About

      1. That’s very charitable of you, Amanda – but I like to think I’m a dentist, though that’d be because I’m actually a show bag.

        Like

      2. A Dentist could also be someone who asks another a question when their mouth is full! Lol. I have worked with some show bags. I highly doubt that you are one.

        Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.