Australia, blogging, Mental Health

How to Respectfully Say No to Senior Colleagues Requests to Work Longer

Forestwood

It is lovely that we can help others, as long as it doesn’t disadvantage ourselves to our detriment.
Conversely, it is good to remember to help ourselves as long as doing so does not disadvantage others.

With many economies struggling, workers are asked to do more and more tasks in a normal working day. Many of us like to help out and be solution-focused, but caring helpful people who are polite end up doing far more than their share, often to their own detriment in the long term. Bosses may wish to ensure targets are met and invariably rely on that person who agrees to do that little bit more. This can become a habit.

Repeated requests might easily spill over into taking advantage of a worker or in a family dynamic, a supportive family member. Academics and educators that work in an area of University/ education cutbacks shoulder more of their former colleagues’ tasks. In a workplace, an employer might believe working unpaid overtime will help productivity, but some stats reveal that may not always be the case, as work satisfaction levels and mental well-being are affected by extraordinary obligations.

workers

Productivity of Australians Working Longer Hours

The Productivity Commission reported last month [Augu 2022] that Australians, rather than lifting productivity levels, are working longer hours than comparable countries. https://www.smh.com.au

The poll, which used a nationally representative sample, found the average employed Australian is working 6.13 hours unpaid each week in 2021, up from 5.25 hours in 2020 and 4.62 hours in 2019. By working an extra 319 hours a year unpaid in 2021, workers are doing the equivalent of an extra eight 38-hour weeks of work. Employers are benefiting from a total of $125bn of free labour, estimated to cost $461.60 a worker every fortnight.

theguardian.com/australia-news/2021

When Senior Personnel ask, or expects, a staff member to go above and beyond, the junior staff member might agree, out of courtesy, or fear of job loss, or even to gain extra kudos, saying ‘Yes’, before they have thought it through and decide if it is right for you?

parenting

Short Responses to Decline Extra Work

Short responses are great to keep in your mental toolbox for those awkward situations where you feel obligated to agree to more work and responsibility.

  • Thank you but I have to decline that opportunity
  • I am not available to do that right now
  • Just say “No,” firmly, or “No thanks, but I appreciate the offer“
  • Sorry, I have too much going on at the moment or, Sorry, I am far too busy
  • Let me think about it. This gives you time to formulate an appropriate respectful response. Then, you could say, I have thought about your offer, but it is not right for me at the moment.
  • Thank you, but I am at my service capacity
  • Unfortunately, that won’t be possible with my current commitments
  • I am already over-committed
  • Thanks for thinking of me, but it doesn’t align with my current goals
  • Some people have made a chart and made it public, so everyone in your workplace can see what, and how much, you have been doing – you could do this for your team.

For persistent workplace devils that don’t accept “no”, some suggested responses include:

  1. I just don’t have the bandwidth to give this project the attention it deserves at the moment.
  2. Let’s look at what we can swap, so I can cover this while you cover another one of my responsibilities.
  3. I am going to say no to this amazing opportunity unless it comes with a release from my other tasks/pay or with adequate remuneration
  4. With my teaching, …., …. I am unable to add one more thing to my list of responsibilities at this time.
  5. While I would love to do this new task, I have already said yes to this and this, so I have to say ‘no’ to Y until X is off my plate.
  6. Stick to what you want to do: I am choosing to give my dog some quality time/I am choosing to make time for yoga, so I can maintain my flexibility and mental well-being, or even, I am choosing to be present with my kids while they are still young.
  7. I am trying to work on my work-life balance, so I am afraid I will have to decline.
  8. Thanks for the opportunity – it sounds really rewarding but (see reasons above)
  9. Check if it is one of your responsibilities. Get tough and say: In light of staff cutbacks and refusal to receive adequate support, I will no longer be doing anything not required in my contract.
  10. Could you send me an email that includes details and outcomes? They may not be as likely to follow up if it requires work on their part.
  11. That looks like an interesting opportunity. What would you like me to drop/swap it out for in terms of what I have already committed to? Always throw it back onto them to solve not you. So-called ‘opportunities,’ are often positioned as something you may miss out on.

I personally like suggestions requiring the person asking to come up with a swapped idea, or task. This softens the blow of a worker feeling obligated to complete what a senior member of staff gives them to do.

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Published by Forestwood

A philosophic Aussie writes here at StPA, one who will readily admit to loving Scandinavia. I'm interested in global politics and what drives us to be who we are. Scratch the surface and you'll find a practical Environmentalist with an egalitarian bent, trying to unleash a little creativity via the written word. Scandinavian culture, literature and traditions are close to my heart, even though I'm Australian. Travel and courteous discussions greatly broaden the mind, so I travel if I can and am always up for a vigorous, respectful discussion. I'm an avid reader, I enjoy photography and craft, particularly traditional art forms. I hope you'll find 'Something to Ponder About,' in my WordPress Community.

68 thoughts on “How to Respectfully Say No to Senior Colleagues Requests to Work Longer”

  1. When I was young and a worker, this NEVER occurred ! The only times I was asked to work overtime were when there was a general office stay-back to get some major project done – everyone was there. But in my day a senior never asked a junior to do O/T !

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    1. It was a fortunate era to work. If the whole team was there, it would feel collegial. I remember being offered paid overtime which was gratefully accepted by myself but my last job was for a not for profit organization- a very large charity which expected everyone to go beyond all the time. Most allied health therapists worked at least an extra 1.5 hours each day to meet requirements of the person’s with a disability.

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  3. There’s many sides to this argument (if argument is what it is). If you’re a committed employee, there is nothing more irritating than seeing those who don’t commit and care to the same level, still receive the same reward. I always tried to make sure those who worked with better commitment and higher care levels were better rewarded – not necessarily only financially but also with other paybacks usually in terms of time. Those who weren’t committed in the same way didn’t receive the same favourable responses. In my experience, if you treat all employees the same then you will lose the good ones. On the other hand I’m retired and therefore a potential dinosaur!

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    1. I agree that it pissed off many a worker to see others slacking off and receiving the same remuneration as someone who puts in 100 or even above 100%. That is often outside of the employee’s control and at times, is overlooked deliberately or not by the employer. I remember having a boss who gave me the work that other workers didn’t want or wouldn’t do, as he knew that I would do it, but I did complain about that at one point. After my complaint was validated by his wife at home, he altered his reaction to the division of tasks. You sound like a fair and just employer, Phil, even if you think you are a dinosaur. If I was to be cynical, I would say that the majority of bosses do not take an interest in looking after their employees, often to their business’ detriment. They have a high turnover of employees as the conscientious folk do look for something better if they don’t get discouraged. But some bosses seem willing to undertake recruitment and training of new people time and time again, which they could minimise by caring more for their people. It is a shame. I feel it is a flawed business model. An employee who feel appreciated, listened to and rewarded fairly for the amount of work is usually a loyal, industrious employee.

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    1. That is a moot point, Wm. It would depend on the circumstances. While some employees may abuse the above examples. If justified and backed up with figures or facts, a fair employer might choose to reward those who give valuable feedback. Then again, they are still doing enough but not more than asked, so is there need for an extra reward?

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  6. I’ve been thinking about this. I’ve seen several YouTube shorts with the exact same dialogue as you’ve copied here. And while I think they are well thought out and very cute, I doubt their effectiveness. That may be a factor of watching the videos as the actress presents as a bit pretentious in a “you can’t touch me” sort of way.

    I’m not sure where the ideas originated but, I live in a right to work state. That sounds like a good thing, yes? All it does is say that employees have the right to choose for themselves whether to pay union dues or fees. They can’t be forced to join a union.

    In practical terms, whether intended or not, it means that employers can fire without cause. An attorney friend of mine worked in once capacity or another for the state for many years. A new boss came in and fired her, making up stuff in the process and there’s nothing she can do. The boss did not need to make things up to fire her, apparently she just wanted to do so. All she needed to do was tell her to leave.

    So, in my long winded way, I’m saying that at least in my state, responding to someone in charge with a cute, possibly a bit snarky manner is likely to get you shown to the door. I don’t think having a reasonable discussion about work load, etc., should do that but, at least in video form, these seemed less reasonable and more “look at how smart I am.”

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    1. Like everything, Zazzy, there are respectful and appropriate ways to approach things but some people through tone, or differing values/morals, may not use these “excuses,” in the best way. I am all for worker’s rights and feel it is important to have the backing of a union, however, some of the Australian Unions, (and it is no longer mandatory to be in a Union), have cut their own throats by demanding ridiculous things. Stress leave was something that was seriously abused. I remember a musician who worked in admin in government, needing time off to go touring with his band. He got his Doctor to write him a certificate for some minor ailments such as recurrent headaches and complained to the union that he was stressed. His job was delivering mail to the various departments and one could say not a high-pressure job, by any stretch. The Department was called to task by the union and prevented from firing him, and he occupied a position that he did not effectively do, and got paid for it for 2 years while he toured with his band. Backed by the Union, he held onto that job. That to me, seemed taking worker’s rights too far. I guess that is but one example but indicative of the mentality of the Unions throwing their weight around. It is a shame as now the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction and workers are being exploited, but politically the Unions have been undermined by Government and no longer have the power they used to wield.
      Your point about the snarky videos is not helpful to either cause. Just today my son told me about a construction industry which promised three months of employment to largely unskilled labourers who keenly took the job. They worked them to the bone 10 hours a day for several weeks then sacked them as the work was completed in that time. The bosses walked away with a bonus for finishing the job early, but what did the unskilled worker get. A few weeks of work as opposed to secure employment for several months leading up to Xmas. Shocking..

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      1. First, I want to apologize. I realized too late that I was being a Debbie Downer in my comments one morning and reading back, this was one of them. Because I do support the ideas about how to try to respectfully address these issues with a supervisor or boss. The videos were not, in my opinion, helpful.

        Your examples of workers mis-using the union and bosses mis-using the workers both give me the creepy crawlies. People can just be dreadful on both sides of the line.

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        1. No need at all to apologize. Its all good. I didn’t think you were a ‘Debbie Downer,’ at all. Everyone’s opinion is just that and I agreed with much of what you said. Especially about the tone resulting in a different interpretation of the spoken words.
          As with anything we can probably find examples of exploitation anywhere but hopefully some of these suggestion might start a productive dialogue for both worker and bosses. Thanks for your comments, Zazzy. Keep them up. I like to hear your opinions.

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  7. #11 is the one that people who I know use when faced with these sorts of extra work demands. Some people even have spreadsheets showing all their projects and expected completion dates, then hand it to the manager. It puts the ball back in the manager’s court who must then decide– or acknowledge–that he’s asking for too much. Seems civil, yet pointed.

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    1. I like the idea of putting the tasks on a spreadsheet, Ally which communicates to the boss an understanding of what the employee faces. Do you think though, that it depends on what type of employer one has, or the quality of the relationship between them that dictates whether a worker can present such a demand that the boss direct them to “solve,” the dilemma. I have had bosses which expected that you would solve the solution yourself, or who were unavailable to chat to, when you wished to bring something like this, up with them….

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      1. Sure, it’s all about your relationship with your boss and whether you really want to keep your job! If you don’t care if you’re employed by this person/company tomorrow, then what have you got to lose? It does make a point, pointedly.

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  8. A charity expecting staff to work unpaid overtime? All too typical.
    I was a lawyer specalising in employment law – but in a period where this would have been unthinkable in practice. All hands to the pumps for an emergency, yes, but othrwise no.
    These days you need to join a union if at all possible otherwise you can be picked off….I have just been reading Balbinder Chagger’s ‘Burden of Proof’ on a forced reduncancy in the banking sector which makes the point that companies are both ruthless and dishonest in dealing with staff…..but if you are faced with extra demands then I suggest you consult your contract first, then ask for details of the proposal and if the two do not meet up then point this out together with a suggestion about jointly discussing how things could be managed to help out in the situation without having to put the work for which you are contracted on the back burner, with the possible effect on your annual appraisal.
    And whatever you do, never trust the HR department.

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    1. A logical respectful approach! Never trust the HR department is a good and telling mantra, Helen. I totally agree, although I have to say my dealings with HR haven’t been too bad, really. I have been lucky, though as I have seen other employees be treated poorly – when forced re-structures meant ruthless redundancies.
      You mentioned companies being dishonest in dealing with staff – all too often this is not news. Many a CEOs write this behaviour off as “a business decision or the company will fail,” but it’s them that then walk away with a huge payout compared to what the workers may receive. I feel that the KPI’s and monetary bonuses encourage unconscionable behaviour that is focused on short-term profits without regard for longer-term outcomes.
      I love the idea of workers sharing in a company profits and flexible working hours. If a worker is invested in a company’s success, they will more than likely be more productive and loyal. Although this should never replace wages!
      I have for the most part been associated with a Union but as I was saying to one of the bloggers commenting above, the MOTH and I have been let down by some of the union’s actions in latter years and they helped those who were slackers. Mind you, we do have Unions to thank for the conditions we have now and we should be mindful of that. Unfortunately, many of those hard fought for rights are now disappearing, being bargained away in the name of the holy grail of increased productivity.

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      1. When a Personnel department turned into Human Resources the world was turned upside down….no more care for the employee, HR’s only interest is in increasing company power over the workforce.
        Unions could indeed throw their weight about…..I remember the stoppages at British Leyland….but what we now have is a disaster for workers.
        I shall watch the progress of the U.K.’s ‘Enough is Enough’ campaign with interest.

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        1. I just briefly googled the UK campaign. Especially difficult time for the IK right now and it must be very difficult for some families. But wrenching especially after the expense on the funeral of the late monarch and a Coronation to come.

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          1. And the vast sums wasted on a trace and test app that did not work….contracts for protective equipment handed out to cronies with no experience in the field….money to encourage people to use restaurants….’bounce back’ loans to businesses which were not properly policed….furlough provisions costing a fortune…. a refusal to chase up frauds costing millions…step forward ex chancellor Sunak. He has cost the nation its future.

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            6. People have little to do with it. The political parties, not their members, determine who shall be a candidate for parliament and those parties depend on mega contributions from people you would not, generally, wish to touch with a bargepole. Individual candidates have their own sources of lucre…..the rotten boroughs have effectively resurrected.

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  9. I used to see this happen a lot when I was working, and for a while I was in an office where there was a culture of staying late – no one liked to leave before the boss as it looked like slacking, even if it was after the stated finishing hour. My own favourite lines if asked to do something I felt was just too much was the one about swapping – ‘yes, I could do that but it will mean X not getting done this week – is that OK?’

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    1. A sound approach to swap out tasks, Sarah. It is funny you say it felt uncomfortable leaving before the boss. Flexible working hours seemed to eradicate that behaviour. Was this a standard hours situation?

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        1. Hmm expectations. Clocking in has some advantages in this regard but could possibly be used against a less productive worker. I detested time clocks- the tax department had them. Everyone standing around for the last five minutes waiting for the clock to tick to 5pm.

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          1. I had them for a while in one post but we were on flexi-time so people knew if they clocked in early or out late they could accumulate enough time for a half-day off now and then. But time off had to be pre-arranged because we were customer-facing. For senior staff I’d rather have expectations about getting work done rather than working specific hours – reports delivered on time, being at necessary meetings, managing staff effectively etc.

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  11. I used something similar to #11. The complication was that I worked on several teams with different managers, who did not always see eye to eye on priorities. What I did was to keep a list of all the irons I had in the fire and the priority and deadline of each. If there was a conflict I asked the managers to communicate with one another and get back to me if the priorities needed to be changed. I figured that was what they were paid to do. I was always polite…and I had to pick up my son at 6:00pm from day care or pay $1 a minute extra.

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    1. It sounds like you handled that really well, Xingfu. I love that the Managers took on the responsibility for sorting it out and were respectful of your caring commitments. That is good to hear. When I first left the workforce to have a child, there was no such understanding. Ten years later, much had changed for the better. But there is still work to do in many areas.

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  12. I worked for a bank in Dallas from 1990-2001. By the mid-90s I think many companies (at least here in the U.S.) started demanding their employees engage in corporate-based extracurricular activities. One week I recall we were expected to come in on a Saturday for some kind of team-building seminar. I had already scheduled a dental appointment that particular Saturday morning, but didn’t tell anyone at work. When my supervisor asked me why I couldn’t make it, I told her “None of your business,” and emphasized that what I did with my personal time was of no one’s concern at the bank. She got mad at me, and I told the department manager who informed me this wasn’t a problem.

    By 2000, I had moved to an executive division within the bank, and our division began a series of similar team-building escapades. One required us to have dinner at a local restaurant and then go see a movie – “The Perfect Storm”, from the 1997 book of the same name by Sebastian Junger. That was based on a true incident in the fall of 1991. I told my manager dinner was alright, but I wasn’t going to stay for the movie. Dinner and a movie didn’t sound like a team-building exercise, I told him. It sounded more like a date – and I personally didn’t care to date anyone at the office. I spent enough time with them during the day. Cutting into my evening was crossing the line for me. He understood my point.

    The 1990s also saw the rise of “multi-tasking” in the U.S. – the theory that working people should be able to perform multiple tasks at once. That ideology has since been proven ineffective – just like the fact that concern for employees’ overall well-being is good for a company’s profitability. Thus, things have begun to improve for the average American worker. I can only hope Australia adopts a similar strategy.

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    1. I am with you, Alejandro. I wouldn’t want to have to be made to go see a movie with co-workers if I didn’t want to. This kind of arrangement is I believe, quite standard for Japan. I am glad it isn’t so in Australia. Although there are more and more of those ridiculous team-building exercises popping up in bigger enterprises and especially in Government. I don’t think you have to force people to do team building to build a team. There are better ways to do it.
      Multi-tasking – good point! Yes the supposed be-all and end-all. It didn’t work well, did it? Leads to a lot of stress in some areas, I think. And reduced efficiency overall.

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      1. Indeed! I read a news item a while back about a lengthy study that finally proved what many of us working folks already knew: multi-tasking doesn’t really produce positive results or increase productivity. For truly intense projects individuals need to remain focused and demanding they perform other tasks along with it can be detrimental to the overall work flow.

        Here’s one such report:

        https://health.clevelandclinic.org/science-clear-multitasking-doesnt-work/

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        1. Yes, it makes sense really. Concentrating on one task in a quiet area would get better results than working in a busy noisy room with ten or more others, phones ringing, people interrupting with questions and also notifications on email and private phones blinging against a background of soft musak, Christmas carols or announcements. It is little wonder anything gets done. I was in a room just like this and requested a change of room to three other introverted workers which was more productive for me.

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  14. A very thought provoking and educational post Forestwood. I have experienced this type of dilemma, where the boss will feed me with more work but not increase my salary, this is just slavery, some bosses are just too much, they should know that the employee is also a human being thus overworking can lead to mental and health problems. It is key to confront the boss and tell him/her than you can’t do this, it is better to talk than to stay silent. Workplace conflict can be solved by communication and if the Voss doesn’t like it, then rather quit abs find another job that won’t strain you

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    1. Sometimes it is not so easy to quit if you cannot find another job of an equivalent or better pay rate, but you are right, overworking leads to mental and physical distress and bosses have this on their conscience. It IS better to talk up then stay silent, Mthobisi!

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  16. Pingback: How to Respectfully Say No to Senior Colleagues Requests to Work Longer – Site Title
  18. Pingback: How to Respectfully Say No to Senior Colleagues Requests to Work Longer – The Jedi Mind Trick

  19. I actually have an almost-ready draft about the very same topic, but from a slightly different perspective. I’m very lucky my current employer of 7 years doesn’t require me to work overtime. Many people read and respond to work emails during holidays, sick leave and kids’ sick leave, but it’s not required – so I would never do it. I draw a strong line and work only 8h, never look at my work phone in the evenings and it’s been fine. I have two phones for this very reason – to keep my personal life seperate. Most people just have one, their work phone, which I find weird because I have my whole life in my iphone! Calendar, bank apps, photos… why would you want to share it with your employer?But despite succeeding in not working more hours than I signed up for, the extra tasks keep coming at an unrealistic rate and it feels stressful knowing I’ll never have time to finish them all. I just prioritise. The managers don’t seem to have much real life experience on how long it takes to accomplish a task, and this is an issue we constantly talk about but to no avail. So, a very interesting topic and post, Amanda! I liked your polite responses and will be memorising some of them!

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    1. It is nice to know that some of these tips will be useful for you, Snow. Like you I feel we all need a work life balance and strict separation to keep our sanity and home life intact.
      Keep up the discussions with your bosses and hopefully they’ll soon understand that to keep efficiency in the workforce, we must all be respectful in our demands not just look at it from the financial side.

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