Aiming his spray bottle of liquid fertiliser directly at Gary, Errol retorted, “Drinks are cancelled.”
Errol easily made friends with the neighbours when he moved into his new
home. He had a penchant for conversation and jokes and found alcohol
smoothed any awkward silences at his weekly, ‘Friday afternoon drinks,’ sessions he hosted for neighbours, in his garage.
Being of Irish heritage and newly retired from corporate sales, Errol would
become louder and prouder after a drink, admonishing anyone that couldn’t hold their liquor.
“More than three beers and you’re a drunk,” he’d say.
Strangely enough, this limitation didn’t seem to apply to his postprandial bottle, (or two), of wine. Then again, Errol insisted wine was consumed merely for medicinal reasons.
As Errol needed to lose weight, evidenced by shirt buttons stretched to capacity and a belly threatening to bust out, a jog with neighbour Gary helped.
Over time, Errol and Gary became close friends until Errol discovered Gary was planning a road trip with another neighbour and Errol had not been invited.
From then on, Errol’s curtains remained drawn, and the garage door closed on Fridays. Gary spied Errol watering his rhododendrons one day and called out, “Errol, you’re still my friend, but I can have other friends too.”
Aiming his spray bottle of liquid fertiliser directly at Gary, Errol retorted, “Drinks are cancelled.”
The “For Sale,” sign appeared the following day. The selling agent revealed to enquiring neighbours that it’d be the ninth home he’d sold for Errol, in the last two years.
“The poor man has dementia and can’t settle anywhere for long.”
Written for the Min-min challenge prompt- cancellation
N.B. Writing this story in Word was a mistake as WordPress threw a tantie and wouldn’t co-operate. Apologies for the formatting as it would not convert the following text to blocks.
Something to Ponder About 
I feel sorry for him.
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Yes. It is sad. Errol knows thasthis a problem but not how to deal with it.
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Yes, unfortunately this is an issue that remains unaddressed for many.
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Acknowledgement and early diagnosis for dementia is so crucial. It’s a cruel disease. Living while your mind is dying.
Errol began to realize he had a problem but could not fully accept it played a part in his dysfunction.
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You’re so right. It’s a cruel disease.
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Yes. It is sad. Errol knows that there’s a problem but not how to deal with it.
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🥲
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This story has many layers and I liked how you weaved in different perspectives. Each person can see a situation so differently depending on their role, and everyone will feel differently towards something depending on what matters to them – and sometimes, like Errol, making sense of others and the world can be so challenging and you can’t blame them.
Your story made me thing of relationships with neighbours. Some of us get along with our neighbours, and some of us don’t. Some of us prefer our privacy and prefer not to get too close with our neighbours. I’m one of those who usually keeps to myself, and my neighbours are generally the same way. On the topic of cancellation, I generally don’t mind when a social outing gets cancelled, being the homebody that I am.
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Everyone is different, Mabel, so relationships and interactions with neighbours are individual. Quieter, introverted individuals mingle less than extroverts.
I have seen instances of friendly, collegial communities that suddenly fall apart when one spanner is thrown into a group.
Gary was very confused and affected by Errol’s immature response that had catastrophic and financial ramifications for Errol. Once the dementia was discovered, disappointment and social rejection turned to sadness.
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Some people will get along better with others. Errol’s story seems very sad, and I think others won’t really know what he goes through. It can be hard when you feel like you can’t get along with others, and also for others too.
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Very true, Mabel. Just like you to think about each person from their perspective and also how difficult it is from the protagonist’s side.
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Poor Errol
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He is a sad case, Derrick. He has so much potential but is stuck.
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Poor Errol has a problem we cannot solve. But your problem with WordPress is really annoying. After they converted to blocks instead of an ordinary word format, I really struggle to blog, so I write everything in Word first and then copy and paste. Not once, not twice, but 3 times half of my blog disappeared. The latest is all my photo’s from a blog written in 2016 that just disappeared. WHAT ARE THEY DOiNG?
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Switch to Classic editor in WP and all will be well.
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I tried that already Doug, but for some reason, the button/function wouldn’t work.
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I havectried that, but the classic editir does not seem to work propperly any more.
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I agree seegogga. The button doesn’t work for me either.
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I converted to Gutenberg early on. I love blocks so much but the word count functionality has now been removed on my plan, so I typed the story in word and transferred it. Then the Classic button failed to work. What are WordPress doing indeed!
It’s crazy that they lost half your blog. Some of my photos disappeared from the very early early posts but suddenly reappeared. I hope yours will too. Have you asked WordPress about it?
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I really do not know where to ask. The furst timevit happened, I found sime ” happiness engineers” from wirdoress. They could not help.
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The happiness engineers are pretty useless. Have you googled it?
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Hi, Forestwood and Seegogga. Just checking that you used the following steps.
Click on Write on your WP home page.
When page opens, click on the blue box with a + sign in it in the top left corner.
In the options that open up, at the top there should be a menu under the heading TEXT
In the middle if the second row of options, you should see the Classic icon.
Click on that.
You should then see a text box on your post page marked Classic.
Write your post and publish.
Let me know if that works for you two. If not, I have nothing else to offer. 😉
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Hi Doug, I am able to find the text option and classic icon. But I do need to search when adding a “block.” I usually write my posts straight into Gutenberg block editor and am fine doing that. Interesting that switching to classic didn’t work in the normal fashion and adjusted sentences as it chose.
What browser did/do you use? Chrome?
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Interesting story. I have seen unintentional hurt feelings erode relationships many times in the past and none of the parties involved had dementia, they were just stubborn and displayed an unwillingness to communicate with the intent of understanding. Unfortunately, no amount of understanding will change the mind of a person who has dementia.
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You have eloquently articulated the issue in a nutshell, Suzanne. Errol had some element of mild dementia, but it was by no means serious. It did affect his actions and thought processes, when he felt offended. I feel his personality traits played into this situation more than the dementia.
Discovering that Errol had dementia may have helped Gary cope with the thought that it wasn’t all his doing. Dementia is a cruel disease and like you, I feel this situation could have been resolved totally differently with more understanding and communication, if Errol had been open to that. In the case of the real life version of Errol, his wife was caught in the whirlpool of chaos. She presumably coped due to her being a nurse, in of all places, a dementia unit, in her working life.
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Amanda, I completely agree. If Errol had been open to discussion and Gary had been more aware of his issue, they potentially could have avoided a derailment. A curmudgeon personality coupled with dementia is a disaster in the making.
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Dementia is very cruel. Regarding WP, I found a few old posts of mine that had formatting problems. WP told me that my theme was retired so isn’t being updated. Maybe that’s the case with you too? They didn’t tell me until I asked for help. Maggie
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Maggie – you could be right about the old posts’ formatting problems. However, the current problem is using a current theme that is offered on their site. I think they put less effort into debugging the free plans.
On Dementia, I was told there are over 60 or more different forms. Errol’s story was based on truth and I do think his personality played out in how the disease presented.
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So sad for Errol
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So sad, but alas, it is all too common a malady! My mother-in-law became increasingly more demanding toward the end of her life, and as she lost more and more of her memory, her agitation and impatience increased. Such a tragic ending.
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Oh gosh, Dorothy. You are correct about dementia. It is common and what’s more, it destroys the life of the sufferer and those around then. I am sorry to hear about your M-i-l. My own Mother is going through what you described and it is terribly frustrating for Dad and myself. I am hamstrung and so can only ride the rollercoaster of winging, abuse and emotional turmoil that surrounds her declining years. Was your m-i-l cared for at home?
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Yes, she stayed at home until the end with nursing help, which was actually less expensive than a nursing home. She didn’t really know where she was, or even who she was at the end.
I have a really funny story, if anything about dementia can be funny, but it is a story that puts a little perspective on things.
My MIL never thought I was good enough for her son, she opposed our marriage, and never let me think for a minute that she accepted me. Well, her last Christmas, we brought a big meal for us to enjoy at her house (having celebrated with our own family the weekend before), and I fussed around and we made it special for her, although she had no idea what day it was for longer than a few minutes. Now, she never forgot who my husband was, but usually couldn’t remember who anyone else was, and as I was offering her a second helping, she grabbed my wrist and asked me if I was with her son. I told her yes, he and I were married. Her reply: “Oh good, I like you much better than that first wife of his!”
I, of course, was his only wife!
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Great anecdote. 🙂
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Oh that’s is so funny, Dorothy. Continual kindnesses override prejudice when a memory fails.
Which perhaps means that a lot of prejudice is tied up with our memory or interpretations.
I so admire you for caring for tge m-i-l despite her initially negative attitude towards you. Her son did choose the perfect woman!
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Sad story
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Thanks for reading. Much appreciated.
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I found this entertaining until Errol’s illness was revealed.
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Thank you, Ceayr. I think the dementia wasn’t entirely to blame for Errol’s personality traits. I think there was/is an underlying problem. The sad thing is this character is based on true events.
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Interesting story … makes one think of expectations and friendships
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You are right! It is a story about expectations and friendships and ageing.
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My husband’s maiden aunt lived with us for eight years as she spiralled into dementia. Disconcerting and a challenging, hard time for all. In the end, she had to move to a nursing home.
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It sounds like your maiden Aunt- in -law was agreeable to moving to a nursing home, or you had some degree of control as she was dependent on you? That helps in these situations. There aren’t too many of us that are not affected by bad memory, forgetfulness or dementia by very old age. Contrastingly, my m-i-l is totally with it at 94 with not one sign of dementia. The Doctors are astounded at the stage of her brain! Not one sign of atrophy! She has always been active and busy and slender, and I feel this has some influence on the outcome.
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Your mother-in-law is very fortunate.
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One can hope the children inherit some of those genetics.
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So sad, but story is interesting.
When and How can understand eachother relationship.
Your story made me things of relationship with neighbour. Some of get along with our neighbours, and some of don’t.
Everyone is different relationship our different neighbour..
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I appreciate that Raj, and you hit the nail on the head when you said everyone is different – every relationship is different too.
People are complicated.
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Yes, people are complicated .
But some don’t mind.
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I kind of feel sorry for him too. Poor guy!
We often wonder how and why we hurt people’s feelings. Was it something we said without thinking, a gesture, or perhaps we overlooked someone, not purposely, but just because we don’t think it all the way through?
Perhaps it’s best Errol moved away.
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Well written, Amanda. I can clearly see how the two friends react to each other’s movements. My best friend has Alzheimer’s. She is getting worse every week when I visit her on Tuesdays. She gives her husband(nearly 90) a lot of grief. I feel so sorry for him because he does all he can to make things easy for her. A carer comes three times daily to help her with her meals and dressing. She still recognises me, which makes it easier for me to visit her.
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How fortunate that your friend recognises you despite her worsening memory. It must be taking a huge physical and mental toll on her husband. That generation is incredibly resilient. My father is in the same situation as your friend’s husband but neither he nor Mum want to face the inevitable.
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The same with my friend and her husband. They have a daughter nearby them who keeps a close eye on them. My friend is very rude to her husband and doesn’t want to listen or let him help her most of the time.
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Rudeness is something that I don’t seem to have much of a tolerance for, even if they can’t help themselves.
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I agree. I tell her in not many words when she starts commenting. She’s been like this while she was still my “old” beloved friend. Kept on telling her off.
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