Dad Jokes and Word Puns

Photo by Josh Willink on

Dad Jokes

My father is on the cusp of turning 90 and has always loved the humour of British comedies such as radio broadcasts of The Goon Show. I hated detested The Goon Show. So what if he has “fallen in the water.”

During family dinners, when the urge to visit the bathroom came to us children (and also embarrassingly as adults), we would politely excuse ourselves. As we exited the room, my father would seize the moment to call out, “Don’t Pee long” {groan}.

If we accidentally dropped a pea from our dinner plate onto the floor, he was the kind of guy who would always say,

Guess who has pee’d on the floor?” with a fiendish smile.

While childish humour seems to be his chosen theme, his “jokes,” weren’t always focused on bodily functions.

Dad was the guy who answered the phone with, “City Morgue!”

I mean, who does that?

Fans of The Goon Show, no doubt.

To give him a laugh, I tucked some classic word puns a.k.a Dad Jokes, into his birthday card. They are the sort of corny puns that you find in Christmas crackers.

He may not laugh, but I can guarantee he will appreciate the wit. And he will repeat any of the following lines that he does remember, to everyone he meets for the next few years.

Word Puns and Paraprosdokian

[A paraprosdokian is apparently a statement with an unexpected ending]

Will glass coffins be a success? ~ It remains to be seen.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? ~ There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but couldn’t find any.

airplane over high rise buildings
Photo by Austin Zhang on

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. ~ I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that’s destroying the world today? ~ I don’t know and don’t really care.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? ~ Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

[During a major rain event]- Need an ark? ~I Noah guy.

Rain monochromatic
Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on

I broke my finger last week. ~ On the other hand, I’m okay.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero. ~ Thanks for nothing!

Son: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”

Dad: “No sun.”

Happy Birthday Dad

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81 thoughts on “Dad Jokes and Word Puns”

  1. How wonderful! My dad is also full of puns and juvenile joke.. including the โ€œso-and-so peaโ€™d on the floorโ€ one. Happy belated birthday to your dad!


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