dog smelling flower wiht bird
Motivational, Philosophy

Growing More Confident

So many of us seek, even actively chase, a sense of peace and fulfillment. We enjoy the fruits of life that we find bestowed on us, in parochial measure, but can we say that we truly treat ourselves kindly or are content, with ourselves?


Kindness as an act, is something we do in treating and interacting with others. Whatever your beliefs, as a child of this universe, we are all deserving of kindness and respect. It is a fundamental human right.

And yet, we shy away from practising loving self-care towards our own bodies and minds, because it gives rise to feelings of guilt. Or, we see it as some kind of character flaw, a sign of weak indulgence or self-centred narcissistic navel-gazing.

Body Image and Disliking Ourselves

Some of us take this even further developing an intense hatred or discomfort with parts of our bodies, for whatever reason. We seek to change the way we look via cosmetics, surgery or decoration.

We may have been unkind to ourselves over time, seeing ourselves only through others’ eyes. It is all too easy to be hyper-critical of an imperfection, when comparing oneself to others. It is important that we see that this kind of perspective, or lens, distorts the way we think about our own bodies and our sense of self suffers. Over time, these thoughts become hard to shift.

..there is no hurt, no lost or berated part of ourselves that cannot be touched by our own loving kindness. Indeed, little kindnesses towards ourselves made habitual in daily life are enough to turn any tide, bit by bit, day by day.

Meredith Gaston

Whatever we think of ourselves, at this moment, we must not forget that we ARE INDEED unique and valuable to this world.

Countering Anxiety

In apportioning loving kindness to all, we can consciously practice self-care.

Being kind to oneself, on a regular basis, is a useful life skill which can help us more readily soothe and quell anxiety and distress in the face of difficult challenges, or thoughts.

dog smelling flower wiht bird

Furthermore, when we are kind to ourselves, (and others), we begin to see that we are indeed worthy of tenderness and this, in turn, may strengthen not only our own self- confidence, but also feelings of comfort and support.

It is never too late to be kind and loving towards ourselves. The past is gone and the future has not yet arrived. Focus on thinking that will sustain and support you.

Treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.

Community, Philosophy

Sunday Sayings – Confidence

happy smile-beach

Confident people have it easy in life. At least they appear to. Nothing seems to be much of a problem or obstacle to them. But is that self-assurance always confidence or is it a little more complicated than that?

Having confidence is not

“They will like me”

Confidence is

I will be Fine if They Don’t”

Princess Marthe Louise of Norway

Eleanor Roosevelt seemed to think so too.

You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.     

Eleanor Roosevelt

Confidence comes from the certainty of being able to confide and trust in someone. Having the self-assurity that you are right, morally and personally or functionally.

Remember this advert?

We might feel confident in our skills. We don’t think about them, if we are confident. We just get on and do them.

Confidence is defined as:

‘the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something or,

the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust.’

A big smile and a calm unflappable nature exudes confidence by others.

They trust that you can handle yourself. People glean much more body language than they realize, by reading other people’s state of mind through the way they carry themselves or their own unique body language.

The meaning of confidence seems to have morphed into something more like what could be described as over confidence, an ability to handle multiple social situations. Depending on the tone of the conversation, it might even mean:

  • Cockiness
  • Hidden insecurities behind bravado
  • Natural interpersonal skills

How would you describe someone who has confidence?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Something to Ponder About


Proverbial Thursday – Proverbs and Sayings from around the World

I find there to be profound wisdom in proverbs, sayings and quotes and I marvel at the way they are so succinct in communicating messages to the reader. Mostly anonymous, they come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned. Quotes, like proverbs, make us think more deeply about something.

Each Thursday, I post a Proverb or Saying and a Quote that I find thought-provoking.  I hope you will, too.

Patience is the key of joy, but haste is the key of sorrow.
-Arabic proverb

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong  -Peter T. Mcintyre

Something to ponder about this Thursday

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