Do you ever think about what youwant to happen in a forthcoming situation? Or does worry get in the way and you tend to focus on what you don’t want to happen?
The Ego and Finding Fault
It seems our ego focuses naturally on the negative aspects, due to an outdated evolutionary adaptation and we are then in a postion that makes us hard-pressed to see positives.
Fault finding comes from believing your happiness comes from the world according to your liking.
We then tend to find fault with whatever is going on, to blame others or circumstances, especially where the outcome has been less than, what we consider, satisfactory.
This may have helped us survive in pre-historic times, where man-eating beasts lurked close by, but is hardly relevant to modern life. Now, our egos flood our brains with self-critical thoughts, most of which are not terribly accurate and anxiety quickly follows.
Replying about his own needs and that he wanted to boost his sale stats, Jampolsky then encouraged the salesman to instead direct his thought focus outwards – ie. so that his real purpose in a transaction or interaction would be that he was genuinely interested in the person he was selling to, in being patient and kind and, to try to ‘see’ the customer’s heart.
To the salesman’s surprise, his sales rose significantly and he was no longer so stressed when he followed that sageful advice. His customers picked up on those non-verbal and verbal signals that he ‘cared.’
Without the ego naturally defaulting to negative, there is room in our minds for all sorts of alternative thoughts.
Contemplating a more positive goal at the beginning of any situation may help influence the outcome, (even if you are not convinced of its worth, at first).
What Went Wrong?
Don’t waste your precious time on analysing what went wrong with a situation. Ignore those feelings that you have been short-changed in lifeas they tend promulgate the victim concept, which only makes you feel worse.
Think about what your goal is, making it pertinent to your perception and personal actions and see what happens.
We can attract the exact things that we give thought oxygen to or dwell on.
Jampolsky believes that we can direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside.
Goals – what would we do if we didn’t have any, at all?
Become lost in a nebulous cloud of spontaneity?
Dreams can keep us going when things are tough, but have to be reined in from being too lofty to be practical. No one said a goal has to be set in stone, did they?
dreamy flowers
How did I do last year? Did I achieve anything from last year’s list?
A bad habit that I am going to break – reduce or stop overreacting to personal bad news with knee-jerk judgements.
Evaluation: Better at this. Ageing has that benefit. Handing the matter over to the Universe to sort out when it is too hard has also been benefical.
A new skill I would like to learn – I love languages and learning to speak a little Polish and Old German will help me in reading historical records, as well as be welcome stimulation of the linguistic neurons in my grey matter!
Evaluation: I discovered Polish is a very difficult language to learn, so I concentrated on bettering my Norwegian.
Partly Achieved! I think. Tusen takk
A good deed that I am going to do – assisting the Smith family and helping to re-distribute food via Qantas volunteer program. I like to support community projects and endeavours.
Evaluation: Part A done, Part B – in progress but with another community group more relevant to my new local area.
Partly Achieved. Still more work to do.
A book that I would like to read – I would love to reduce some of the books currently on my TBR shelf – one that comes to mind is Anna Funder’s, ‘All that I Am.’
Evaluation: I think I read close to 20 books last year, and reduced my TBR shelf quite a bit. However, I did purchase a few more and only a few chapters of Anna Funder’s book was read. I read all the second hand books first. There are still a few there.
Achieved!
new food that I want to try – I’d be willing to try anything fermented or pickled – the probiotics contained within are so good for you.
Evaluation: – Home made kefir has become a staple in my fridge.
Achieved!
A place that I would like to visit – I would like to say something remote like the Faroe Islands, but as I am busy at home this year, there will be no long holidays, unless I count a potential, but not scheduled visit, to the Mornington peninsula, in Victoria or getting involved in research at the Genealogical Society headquarters.
Evaluation: – several short stints away despite the intense building project a the Home by the Sea and private research on the family history front.
Achieved albeit in a different way.
I am going to be better at being – non-judgmental and maintaining calm ….. ohm……
Evaluation: –
Achieved, but I still have work to do. What can I say – it is a work in progress.
Bead meditation and mantras
******
2020 Goals
They haven’t all come from dreams and are not in any particular order. Most are quite practical – a sign of ageing, perhaps?
Establish myself in the new location, spreading kindness and community
Become involved in supporting local Koala organizations
Grow more vegetables
Progress on a book or even complete a book on conversations with Mabel Kwong
Create A traditional colouring Book
Creating a Recipe book with my family recipes for my children
Expand my online fabric shop
Read more books from my TBR
Create items by diminishing my fabric stash
Look after my physical and spiritual self
Improve my second language skills
Be calm and satisfied – unfettered by the old nonsense
A Quiet Lifestyle
Years ago, I felt that a quiet lifestyle was a little intimidating – I like to be close to things to do and facilities. Even though I love the environment, put me on a rural property with no neighbours for miles and I would quickly go nuts!
Even though I am a quieter person, I do like the presence and interaction of others around me. My own company and no one else’s, for too long, is not healthy for me!
I found it interesting that Vero discussed a life of simplicity, especially, in terms of employment for the simplest of jobs can bring the greatest joy.
A repetitive job can be challenging and also bring immense satisfaction, depending on one’s attitude. What you can contribute; what you can give back? Is this job serving and supporting you? When you walk out the door, can you be satisfied everything was done well, complete and ticked off.
Not every job can offer this.
A job that requires mental gymnastics and high levels of energy may be just what ambitious folk crave, striving their whole lives to reach, yet it might be this supposed pinnacle of success that triggers them to crash and burn under pressure.
Did this job satsify their hope and dreams, their ego, or social credibility?
Did they enjoy the process of each day?
Or spend hours lying awake at night?
Each of us has to find the right mix and the right match for themselves.
I find there to be profound wisdom in proverbs, sayings and quotes and I marvel at the way they are so succinct in communicating messages to the reader.
Mostly anonymous, they come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned.
Quotes, like proverbs, make us think more deeply about something.
Under capitalism man exploits man;
under socialism the reverse is true.
~Polish proverb
The following quote comes from a rapper. Whilst there are few rap songs I like, these words filled me with a sense of hope – even for those who have lost it all.
“No matter how dirty your past is,
your future is still spotless.”
–Drake (Canadian rapper)
Everyone’s opinion is important. What is yours?
Join in the discussion by leaving a comment.
Sunday Sayings are invariably Something to Ponder About
Several years ago, I created ‘Proverbial Friday’ on my blog.I
became fascinated with traditional proverbs, quotes and sayings, their
metaphorical layers and the many different interpretations found
within just a few, succinct words. I marveled at their ability to
transcend race, religion, opinions and age.
Sayings, quotes and proverbs offer us knowledge; knowledge that is passed to us in much the same way a relay runner might pass a baton. Once it’s handed over, it is up to us what we do with it and how we pass it on.
Sunday Sayings: you may strongly disagree or agree. Everyone’s opinion is important.
I am not really someone who makes New Year resolutions as I prefer a little more structure around the aims and goals, however a little planning in February, can’t go astray, can it?
Boreen point lakeside beach
I found this little memo on the net and thought it was a prompt to think about general and personal goal setting for the year ahead. Even though we are two months in, I still feel that I am just getting started with 2019.
Here are the ‘resolutions’ and my answers.
A bad habit that I am going to break – reduce or stop overreacting to personal bad news with knee-jerk judgements.
A new skill I would like to learn – I love languages and learning to speak a little Polish and Old German will help me in reading historical records, as well as be welcome stimulation of the linguistic neurons in my grey matter!
A good deed that I am going to do – assisting the Smith family and helping to re-distribute food via Qantas volunteer program. I like to support community projects and endeavours.
A book that I would like to read – I would love to reduce some of the books currently on my TBR shelf – one that comes to mind is Anna Funder’s, ‘All that I Am.’
A new food that I want to try – I’d be willing to try anything fermented or pickled – the probiotics contained within are so good for you.
A place that I would like to visit – I would like to say something remote like the Faroe Islands, but as I am busy at home this year, there will be no long holidays, unless I count a potential, but not scheduled visit, to the Mornington peninsula, in Victoria or getting involved in research at the Genealogical Society headquarters.
I am going to be better at being – non-judgmental and maintaining calm ….. ohm……
Are you someone who sets goals or makes resolutions?
Do you reassess them regularly? Are they a useful prompt, or temporary navel-gazing?
Join in with the Seven resolutions and tag me in so I can read up on your inspiration for 2019.
