How do you treat yourself?
We are often harshest in our treatment of ourselves in the way our inner voice reprimands us for making mistakes.
Rather than an objective assessment of our actions, we strive for perfection in ourselves, and are disappointed or angry with ourselves if we cannot attain that desired standard.
Trying to be Perfect
Perfection is impossible, yet we continue to strive for it. Let us face it, we are all imperfect beings in some way. So it is a natural and normal state to be imperfect.
We may feel anger or diappointment when we judge ourselves to be useless, inadequate or ineffective.
If your critical inner voice is devaluing who you are, answer back with self-kindness … this is the antidote.Medium.com
Turn negative statements into neutral statements
One easy way to adjust our damaging self-talk is to change “always” and “never” statements into specific truthful ones.
“I always fail at ….” Really, is this accurate? Or, is this statement better?
“It seems like I fail every time I try something I find difficult, but telling myself that doesn’t help or support me in any way and each time it happens, I am learning something about what doesn’t work for me.”
Even in simple situations you might catch your self-talk saying, “You always forget where you put your phone/keys/wallet.”
Imagine how less disappointed you might feel if you change that self-talk to, “When life gets really busy, it is easy to forget where I left my phone/keys/wallet, but that is okay. Next time I might take more notice where I put them.”
If you make a mistake in your work, instead of labelling yourself, useless, using more nurturing phrases under your breath can feel less reproachful.
“I stuffed up this time, but that is okay because I am still learning how best to carry out this task and next time I might do better.”
Here is another example from medium.com
Let’s say your inner voice tells you that you’re fat, and you think:
“I did gain five pounds. She’s right, I’m ugly.” You feel miserable, right? Neutralize that negative statement so you feel good about yourself. Paint the situations your inner critic is nagging you about, in neutral colors. Name the facts. Add what you think will help you to make it better.
“Yes, I want to lose a couple of pounds. Last week I was too stressed and tired so I ate more and skipped my exercises. I’m more relaxed now, and I can go back to my usual routine.”medium.com
Be kind to yourself.