How to Please People

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

Jim Rohn

Do you like to Help Others?

We are encouraged to help others according to the religious and social conventions of our world. Doing so, promotes joy in others, a sense of, ‘loving kindness,’ in our interactions with others and community.

But,

where are the boundaries between helping others and neglecting our own needs in order to please others?

People-pleasers typically have low self–esteem. They overdo it on kindness and helpfulness because they feel a need to prove their worth. They’re uncomfortable with conflict and negative emotions, so they work hard to always keep their partners happy, with no concern for their own feelings.

Psychology Today

This statement goes a little far in finger-pointing, and it could incite feelings of guilt in the person who aims to please. But I take their point on the fundamental issue.

So how do we achieve that balance between helping others and not hindering ourselves?

I think that it’s a learning process for some of us.

People pleasers hope that saying yes to everything asked of them will help them feel accepted and liked. However, no matter how nice they are, some people won’t like you for no good reason.

Why not?

Who knows?

Do you like every person you meet?

Kindness or Pleasing Others?

Many people-pleasers confuse the act of pleasing people with kindness. When discussing their reluctance to turn down someone’s request for a favour, they say things like,

“I don’t want to be selfish,” or “I just want to be a good person.”

Consequently, they allow others to take advantage of them.

https://www.psychologytoday.com

It is impossible to be all things to all people. Trying to be that person will just stress you out.

“Some people-pleasers have a history of maltreatment and somewhere along the way, they decided that their best hope for better treatment was to try to please the people who mistreated them.“

Psychology Today

Some People-pleasers seem to spend a lot of time walking on eggshells and neglecting their own boundaries to keep a significant other happy*. For these folks, people-pleasing becomes a habit and a way of interacting with family, friends and other people.

*NB. If this tips over into an abusive relationship, professional help should be considered, at the earliest opportunity.

What You Can Do to Break a People-Pleasing Habit

• Start by saying no to a small request or take a stand for something you truly believe in.
• Express your real thoughts and opinions to something small or less significant.
• Validate the other person’s right to a different opinion before calmly stating your own.

Check to see if this works for you.

A positive or neutral response to this, from the receiver, may help to build confidence in one’s own ability to be more aligned with the true self.

Any adjustments in this communication might mean re-phrasing your words without acquiescing your own beliefs. Validating other people’s right to their own opinion, whilst calmly stating your own, may also be helpful.

“I get why you would think that and it would be nice if I could see it your way/agree with you, but right now, I see it/think differently.”

“The Number 1 reason people fail in life is because they listen to their friends, family, and neighbours.”

– Napoleon Hill

It Started with the Door

I was washing the Schnauzer Dog this morning and the young pup and rest of the family kept interrupting me, pushing open the door hitting me in the shoulder, when I was working with the dog in the tub, full of shampoo.

If it wasn’t the pup pushing open the closed door latch, it was the Moth a.k.a. ‘Man of the House,’ (New homes appear to have internal doors that don’t securely latch closed, unless you slam them).

Each time the door was opened, the very wet and soapy Schnauzer, now full of shampoo would repeatedly try to leap from the tub, and and you can just imagine how slippery a fully soaped up dog was. It was a slightly exasperating situation.

Dog washing complete, I then set about cleaning the laundry and the same scene repeated, much to my dismay. Newly cleaned floors covered with either Schnauzer paw prints or Moth footprints as suddenly everyone wanted to get into the laundry for some reason. Grr.

I felt the tension rising in my body. I was irritated by the door latch not staying closed and the laundry suddenly becoming busier than Central Station. After a few grumbles under my breath, I paused, took a deep breath and tried to remember the wise saying I read earlier this week:

When you are upset, remind yourself the cause of your discomfort is your own attitude.

This is Freedom.

Dr. Lee Jampolsky

If there is something you don’t like, you can either change it or change the way you think about it.

Each and every day, the real battle for freedom takes place in your mind.

 Ingen kan hjelp den som ikke vil hjelpe seg sjøl.

Noone can help someone who will not help him/her/themself

Norwegian proverb

Do you have a way of dissolving tension that works for you?

If so, I would like to hear it.

Criticism and Feeling Positive

 Gode ord skal du hogge i berg, de dårligere i snø.

Carve your good words in stone, the bad in snow.

Old Norwegian Proverb

I do love the way old words of wisdom offer us a way forward when we are stuck in our heads, with thoughts that do us no good at all.

Old proverbs offer us succinct suggestions and have many layers of interpretation, if we are open to listening.

Not only does the Norwegian proverb relate to criticism of others, it might also give us advice on how we view ourselves and how we react to criticism from other people.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

Criticism from Others

Is it possible to eliminate criticism?

Du kan unngå kritikk ved ikke å si noe, ikke å gjøre noe
og ikke å være noe.

You can escape criticism by not saying anything,

by not doing anything and becoming nothing.

Danish Proverb

The only way to escape criticism entirely is to follow the Danish proverb’s advice.

Accepting that there will always be people who criticize, regardless of what you do or how well you do it, is something we might have to hear, but not something we have to internalize.

If you say you want to be a dancer, they will discredit your rhythm.  If you say you want to build a new business, they will give you a dozen reasons why it might not work.  They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong.

It’s a lot easier to be negative than positive – a lot easier to be critical than correct.

Spend time with Positive people.

Wise words from Marc and Angel.

Herd Mentality

The Honey bee is successful because it is a master of teamwork and collective decision making. They use their communication system to allow good decisions to spread and diminish information that is unhelpful.

Joanne Reed

According to Author Joanne Reed, humans in a group, are influenced by what the majority of others are thinking, or doing, a similar thought, or thing, rather than the message, a type of herd mentality. When there is uncertainty in the environment surrounding a decision, she notes that people tend to feel safer, ‘siding with the crowd,’ rather than going it alone, even if that decision might be a bad one. Yet we are alert to bad news, it garners our attention, more so than good news.

Social Experiment on Herd Mentality

Citing a social experiment using slot machines and payouts, Joanne Reed talks about how people tended to follow the choice of the majority, once they had learned a particular slot machine paid out, more often than the rest. When the winning slot machine was changed, they stuck with playing that same machine even after it no longer paid out.

When uncertainty increased, players apparently took even longer to break away from conformant behavior.”

authorjoannereed.net

Many marketing techniques exploit this tendency in human nature. Just this week, I saw a video advertisement for an online program designed to teach you “Secret Ways to Boost Sales,” (of one’s art products). The message was clear – You would be foolish to pass this opportunity by, as everyone, yes, everyone, is doing this and everyone, is increasing their sales exponentially.

Really?

Everyone?

Social Media and advertising plays around with this herd mentality and our decisions as a consumer. We seem more inclined to trust a beauty or personal product if it is endorsed by a particular celebrity, or professional. Products that receive a gazillion ‘likes,’ or positive reviews, appear to be seen as trustworthy and reliable, than those with a mere one-star rating.

“People are sheep. TV is the shepherd.”

Jess C. Scott, Literary Heroin (Gluttony): A Twilight Parody

Some are tempted to follow blogs or social media accounts with large followings, based on the quality of the site’s content, or the curiosity to check out what all the ‘hype,’ is about? These folks might think there is a very good reason people view them and they want to know too, right?

In smaller groups or where there was a less challenging task to undertake, people seem more comfortable pursuing, or willing to explore, less popular or divergent decisions. But this feeling of certainty and penchant for safety in numbers, that draws us to side with the crowd – where has it come from? George Patton appeared to value divergent thinking.

“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

George S. Patton on authorjoannereed.net

Given that bees are highly successful using collective communication methods, it is interesting that we have been successful despite our tendencies towards herd decision making. Some research suggests that we have been successful, not just because we were a co-operative species, but because we have been friendly. People are more likely to work cooperatively, if their colleagues are friendly.

Some folks might be more inclined to join a protest rally when their friends were doing it, or it seemed the right thing to do because there is a subconscious message as everyone is doing it? Would they still join the protest on belief in the cause, alone?

The nail that sticks up, will be hammered down

Japanese Proverb

Food for Thought

Does this have implications in what we see in today’s society? Or how future societies might be?

Are we just as guilty of herd decision-making, if we side with the majority of a team in a workplace?

How influenced are you by the herd?

Do you listen to divergent opinions?

Something to Ponder About

Sunday Sayings – Resilience and Success

Weekly Quote

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”

-David Brinkley

Weekly Proverb

If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail. — Gambian proverb

Resilience

A recent article suggests that those who can weather the storms of life have the ability to perceive events in a different way to those who feel stressed and negatively impacted by trauma and life’s challenges.

Whether you can be said to have resilience, or not, might depend on the way your life unfolds. If you are lucky and never experience any adversity, you don’t really know for sure how resilient you might be. When you come across obstacles stress and environmental threats, you discover how well you can cope with life’s challenges.

Reacting to Stress

Do you see a stressful event as traumatic, or a problem? Or is it a chance to learn and grow?

Why do some kids thrive in awful circumstances and yet others crumble despite hailing from more comfortable backgrounds?

Predictors of Resilience in Children

Who will be resilient?

According to the article, support networks are essential to resilience. A strong bond with a supportive caregiver, parent, teacher, or other mentor, who believed in them tended to be more resilient, when life threw them a curve ball.

Children displaying the following strengths were also noted to be more resilient: [Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2956753/%5D

• mature, autonomous and independent
• were naturally curious
• used whatever skills they had effectively
• belief it was themselves, not their circumstances, that affected their achievements
• strategies to deal with stress
• a talent or hobby valued by others
• a sense of humour
• responded well to others
• tolerated negativity
• well developed decision making, reading and planning
• a balanced perspective of experience
• hopefulness
• flexible but tenacious

In short, “The resilient children saw themselves as orchestrators of their own fates.“

newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/the-secret-formula-for-resilience

The final saying today comes from Janet over at This, that and the other thing:

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Discussion

Do you see yourself as the master of your own destiny?

Join in the conversation. All comments are welcome.

Sunday Sayings – Idealism

I have been pondering the concept of idealistic versus realistic thoughts and its relationship to wisdom here. As always, I find Quotes and Sayings to be a great guide in deciphering the details and deciding on which side of the ledger I currently sit.

Confucius

I think Confucius has some intriguing words for us.

“By three methods we may learn wisdom:

First, by reflection, which is noblest;

Second, by imitation, which is easiest;

and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

~ Confucius

Quite rightly, without reflection we cannot find a deeper meaning and sense in our world.

Experience becomes the teacher, when the ears will not listen.

In philosophy, when discussing the issues of perception, idealism is a theory that states that our reality is shaped by our thoughts and ideas.

In a sociological sense, idealism emphasizes how human ideas—especially beliefs and values—shape society.

Your dictionary

• Idealism Believes in the Universal Mind
• Idealism Regards Man as a Spiritual Being
• The World of Ideas and Values is more important than the world of Matter: …
• Real knowledge is perceived in mind
• Importance of Personality Development

“I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.”

~ Ann Frank

Anne Frank and her family kept true to her ideals, even though they cost them their life.

Credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/tombstone-anne-frank-memorial-1735439/

“Study the past if you would define the future.”

~ Confucius

Mostly anonymous, proverbs and sayings are a portal through time to generations past and echo a diverse range of cultures. They speak of the experiences of many lessons learned and the wisdom from thousands of lives already lived.

What do you think of the sayings this week?

Do you think wisdom is gained more from mental thoughts and ideas, or pragmatic actions?

I inivte you to join in the discussion by leaving a comment below.

Everyone’s opinion is welcome at StPA.

Oh Gosh, I am still an Idealist

Young and Idealistic

When we are young we are enthusiastic, fully of energy and want to change the world for the better. We think it can be easily changed in dramatic and beneficial ways. You could say we are somewhat naive and idealistic.

Slightly more pragmatic

We haven’t experienced enough of life to develop pragmatism, or even cynicism. Wisdom comes much later in our lives, if we are fortunate and keep an open mind.

A quick Google search reveals:

Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.

Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.

An idealist is someone who envisions an ideal world rather than the real one. Some people consider idealists to be naive, impractical, and out of touch with reality. Idealists think that striving for perfection might make the world a better place. The main root of idealist is “ideal,” which comes from the Latin word idea. But a practical one, I think.

Is that a waste or unrealistic to let idealism and logic pervade one’s thinking?

Idealistic describes someone whose plans or goals of helping others are lofty, grand, and possibly unrealistic.

To dream of an end to child trafficking, poverty and environmental vandalism.

Idealistic? – Guilty

I don’t understand how people can litter – there is rubbish bins to be found or take your rubbish home with you.

Idealistic? – Guilty

I can’t easily comprehend disposing of something that can potentially be recycled.

Idealistic? – Guilty

Yes it seems I could seemingly be classified as a pragmatic idealist mixed up with a healthy dose of suburban cynicism. Wisdom – I am still working on that.

Agree or disagree?

When did you lose your idealism? Or gain a degree of cynicism and/or wisdom?

Sunday Sayings – Snobbery and Privilege

Hypocrisy is the essence of snobbery, but all snobbery is about the problem of belonging or exclusiveness.

“Some people have such good taste they can’t enjoy anything.”
― Marty Rubin

“They [Harvard academia] liked the poor, but didn’t like the smell of the poor.”
― Chris Hedges

“It was culture as class performance, literature fetishised for its ability to take educated people on false emotional journeys, so that they might afterwards feel superior to the uneducated people whose emotional journeys they liked to read about.”
― Sally Rooney, Normal People

Why are some people Snobs?

Snobs are people who judge people for what they do or how much wealth they have, not for who they are. They fixate on product and performance, not personality or spirit. Snobs might display rigidity of thinking as some well heeled who, despite their expensive educations, came to admire Hitler’s autocratic style of government. The snob pigeonholes people according to superficial criteria such as their birth, their profession, either regarding or disregarding them. Countries with strict class systems are renowned for this. Exclusion may even be based on the way a person speaks.

Some interesting explanations on snobbery are found here

It is suggested that snobbery is a symptom of social insecurity; that social insecurity may be rooted in childhood experiences, especially feelings of shame at being different, or an early sense of privilege or entitlement that cannot later be realized.

The true answer to snobbery is not to say that there is no such thing as a better or worse person, but to insist that better or worse exist in constantly unexpected places and carry none of the outward signs of distinction. Perhaps the antithesis of snobbery is recognition of those who fail as much as those who succeed?

Is it feasible to recognize everyone for their effort?

“People who hold important positions in society are commonly labelled “somebodies,” and their inverse “nobodies”- both of which are, of course, nonsensical descriptors, for we are all, by necessity, individuals with distinct identities and comparable claims on existence. Such words are nevertheless an apt vehicle for conveying the disparate treatment accorded to different groups. Those without status are all but invisible: they are treated brusquely by others, their complexities trampled upon and their singularities ignored.”
― Alain de Botton

Do you know some people whose self-concept is not so strong that they spend a lot of time making comparisons and judging others, who often fail to come up to their high standards? Is this a form of snobbery?

Or perhaps the do-gooders who are not really keen on the people they help in their everyday lives, at all. It looks good on paper to help the needy and they feel they are doing the right thing, and yet, if the recipients are not grateful for the handout, the donations or assistance abruptly stop .And then there are the group who seek to gain something from handouts, business favours or social favours.

Humans can be poor judges of the worth of others, and thus it may be simpler to be kind, curious, open and imaginative about all we interact with and that includes ourselves.

Snobbery and its contributing factors is Something to Ponder About

More on Greed Risk and Desire

“Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.”

-Chris Rock

Managing money often results in behaviours that might be regarded as greed or human competitiveness . Some folks feel an adrenaline rush at the prospect of making unexpected money. Creating wealth is often perceived to be a vehicle to a better quality of life or standard of living but can also awaken greed, which we began discussing in last week’s post.

Our investing brains come equipped with a biological mechanism that is more aroused when we anticipate a profit than when we actually get one.

Your MOney and Your Brain ~Jason Zweig

Human nature has evolved over millenia in competition with others. Within isolated island smaller tribal communities appear to live in relative harmony, perhaps even without competition or strong desires. With the introduction of external influences, comes desire, competition and inevitably conflict.

The potential of gaining or losing something of value – greed – this culminates in a selfish desire for something. Who of us can free ourselves totally from the desire for a better life?

Better an empty purse than wrongly got money

(Betre tom pung enn rangt skaffa pengar)

Swedish Proverb

Greed is often characterised by a weak capacity for independent judgment with a strong appetite for measuring up against one’s peers.

The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell

– John W. Foster

So is competition and desire a unavoidable part of human existence at some point?

Is greed wrapped up in maintaining our reputation? Is it based on our social status or our perceived performance amongst peers?

What do you think of the quotes and sayings here.

Everyone’s opinion is important. What is yours?

Join in the discussion of Sunday Sayings* by leaving a comment.

*Several years ago, I created ‘Proverbial Friday’ on my blog which has now morphed into Sunday Sayings. I became fascinated with traditional proverbs and sayings, their metaphorical layers and the many different interpretations found within just a few, succinct words. I marveled at their ability to transcend race, religion, opinions and age.

Sunday Sayings – Differences and Reality TV

I find there to be profound wisdom in proverbs, sayings and quotes and I marvel at the way they are so succinct in communicating messages to the reader. Mostly anonymous, they come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned.

Quotes, like proverbs, can make us think about moral and ethical issues.

The preponderance of reality TV shows, of late, has me questioning just why it is so many find them fascinating. After all, they feature individuals that are quite different to the mainstream public, or focus on the more marginal sectors of society.

Why do we have a morbid curiosity for those who are dissimilar to us?

Yet we criticize, shy away or even distance ourselves completely from them if we were to meet them in real life?

Not only do many of us become addicted to watching such shows as ‘Married at First Sight‘, or ‘Teen Parents‘, but we might actively criticize or judge them, from the comforts of our living room.

Why do we do this?

Is the simple explanation, as some theorists might have it, that our neural circuits have evolved to pay more attention to things that are perceived to be a potential threat?

“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”

-Albert Einstein

If we are simply curious, sometimes morbidly so, are reality shows such as ‘Botched Bodies‘, just another manifestation of staring at the ‘Bearded Lady’ in the Circus Freak Show of years gone by?

Is it natural to be curious? Or too inquisitive?

CC0 Creative Commons

Do you consider the media might have a role in discouraging prejudice or judgemental behaviours in society, by limiting promotion of such voyeuristic programs such as “Bad Mothers” or “Swamp People?”

I wonder if proliferation of this type of show desensitizes us to differences between individuals or conversely, does it highlight and therefore, exacerbate prejudice?

Come and walk a mile in my moccasins, before you criticize who I am.

Kom och gå en mil i mina mockasiner innan du bedömer vem jag är.

Swedish Proverb

Is there a case for censorship of these shows on moral or ethical grounds?

If you favour censorship of some kind, would that censorship effectively remove an individual’s right to make a morally appropriate choice and thereby limit tolerance of marginal folk in the long run?

Do you consider the freedom of the individual so vital that only we can decide for ourselves, what each of us feels is and is not appropriate or socially acceptable?

Everyone’s opinion is important. What is yours?

Sunday Sayings invites you to join in the discussion by leaving a comment below.

Sunday Sayings – Worry

Does worry serve or support us?

Our mind perceives a potential threat and becomes stuck on seeking an answer or solution, a way forward to a safer or more secure state where everything is more predictable, controlled or orderly. This is worry. For some, worry leads to anxiety.

For every behaviour, there is a perceived mental pay-off. What’s the pay-off for the time we devote to this practise of worrying?

Do we feel better for worrying? Or worse? Does it rob us of valuable time and energy?

WEEKLY PROVERB

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow”

~Swedish Proverb

Sunnfjord

WEEKLY QUOTE

“Don’t be intimidated by what you don’t know.

That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else”

~ Sara Blakely (American businesswoman)

Worry takes our attention away from the present, from what is real and we are dwelling in possibilities – either in the past, or the possible future. The more possible outcomes, the more we worry, and the harder it is to let go.  It makes us feel helpless or trapped.

Sara Blakely’s words can apply to many different situations.

Let your uncertainty be your strength.

More on worrying here.

How do you see worry? Does it serve a purpose for you? What have you found effective in counteracting worry?

Everyone’s opinion is important. What is yours?

Join in the discussion by leaving a comment.

I find there to be profound wisdom in proverbs, sayings and quotes and I marvel at the way they are so succinct in communicating messages to the reader.

Mostly anonymous, they come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned.

Quotes, like proverbs, make us think more deeply about something.

Finding Happiness

Everyone wants it, and we constantly seek it, yet it can be illusive to many. It makes us smile, feel joy, and stay positive about everyday life. But is it possible to be happy all the time? Or is it enough to be satisfied or content? Is your Happiness dependent on others?

Some say happiness is not the fulfillment of what we wish for, but an appreciation of what we do already have around us!  Happiness will come when we quit complaining about troubles and are simply grateful for all the troubles we don’t have.

“Mr or Ms. Dreary moans about everything, he or she thinks people are horrible, and the world is going downhill and nothing is worth the effort. Well guess what? There is some who consider that He or She has choice and is acting out that choice.

Such a person looks at their options and decides that to be happy is much too difficult at that moment and declines to make any effort to think otherwise. He or she decides it is easier to be miserable and inadvertently drags others around him down, as well.

If someone wants to be miserable, or depressed it is their absolute right to be so. Misery is but one part of learning to manage our own independent lives.  If a person chooses to feel permanently depressed, let them also be so. Some folks will find every reason to be unable, as they feel that is more real.

If you say, ” Snap out of it. Life is great” or even, “just think positive.” They might feel or think that they just aren’t ready to agree or decide life is great.

Only with a change in their attitude, is it possible for them to see things differently and then they might be ready to snap out of it.

 

A change in attitude allows us to view life in a different way.

 

Say What?

“Consciously or unconsciously we choose our thoughts and actions, or reactions; we assign meaning to others’ words or actions.  Our own thoughts about those words or actions, impact the way we feel.  Thus accepting what is, and maintaining focus on the present moment as opposed to mentally re-hashing what has happened in the past, may cause a shift in our thoughts and therefore also in our feelings.” www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/

 

 

Stay present in the moment

Only the present moment is real, the past and the future are at this point, only illusions. Focus and be mindful on the present moment. It is here that that you live your life. Past mistakes are gone. You do not and can not live in the past, as much as you might try to think that. What is done, is done, and can’t be revisited, so why dwell on it? Look forward to what you can do and just soften in to looking to thoughts of things you are grateful for!

 

Chart your Gratitude

As cliched as it sounds, every morning, get up as soon as you wake and write down or think of three things, you can be thankful for. Slowly you will build the neurological pathway to positivity in your brain. For instance:

The sunshine caressing your face, the rain invigorating the plants, looking on a garden of flowers, a caring text, a smile from a co-worker, a treasured possession, the freedom of movement and of thought.

It becomes a beautiful record of all the positives in your life, for when you are feeling down.

 

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” –Alphonse Karr

 

Look hard and you can find much to be grateful for.

 

 

 

 

Proverbial Thursday – Global Words of Wisdom

I find there to be profound wisdom in proverbs, sayings and quotes and I marvel at the way they are so succinct in communicating messages to the reader. Mostly anonymous, they come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned. Quotes, like proverbs, make us think more deeply about something.

Each Thursday, I post a Proverb or Saying and a Quote that I find thought-provoking. 

I hope you will too.

 

 

Never test a river’s depth with both feet – African proverb

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom 

–Theodore Rubin

(American Psychiatrist and Author)

 

Many thanks to Ted from Recipereminiscing for sharing his African proverb. What do you make of this foreboding proverb from Africa and additionally that of Theodore Rubin’s quote? Is being kind a more feasible objective in life? Or is gathering wisdom a naturally symbiotic process with kindness? Can someone be wise, but still unkind?

Something to Ponder About

Please share your thoughts in a comment.