Sunday Sayings – Hate and Letting go

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” 

Martin Luther King Jr.

star in the darkness

 Negative, Hateful Feelings

When we have been hurt we feel strong emotions, like hate. We might be filled with passionate rage and its the body that might automatically switch on strong emotions, bypassing the more rational thinking and analysing centres of the brain.

That bodily rush that comes with anger is due to a surge of adrenalin, and it might even mean we forget why we actually hate the things we do. If hate continues to fester, we might even forget what and who we hate and just experience raw bodily emotion. It is then we might begin to hate for the sake of hating itself, to vent at something – anything.  Ultimately, if we do not halt and process this raw emotion, it often seems to turn inwards and we might even begin to hate our own selves too.

It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.  Confucius    

In order to counteract hate, one has to move on from the past mistakes or troubles, disconnect from other haters if they are in your circle and shift our mental focus.

Hating prevents any enjoyment of the present life. It does not satisfy or heal, it only destroys.

If basic needs, such as physiological needs and safety are not currently being met in a person filled with hate, then this needs to be dealt with first. One cannot begin to resolve hate, if the person feels insecure, hungry, or even lacks a sense of belonging, in their lives. When basic needs are not met, the person might be vulnerable to extremist social and religious groups or behaviours, for they offer that sense of community/belonging which the individual is desperately seeking.

The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.

Eldridge Cleaver

Age and Anxiety

As we age, and deal with life experiences and challenges, both good and bad, one realizes that many worries and fears don’t ever come to fruition. They are, more often than not, unfounded. How many opportunities to experience joy are lost because of months/years of needless worry and negativity?

Acceptance

Letting go of rage, raw emotion and fear, the need to always be right and control others, the need to have everything perfect or everything your way, or the feelings of not being good enough requires hard work and discipline but can be done.

If we accept that we can not change the past, and shift our focus ahead, to a new future, you just might be bothered less by all the past with its regrets and nonsenses. What’s done is done, and now is history. It is no longer real, so it is best to look forward and focus on what you CAN actually do, right now, in this moment.

The Present Moment

The present moment is significant, not as the bridge between past and future, but by reason of its contents, which can fill our emptiness and become ours, if we are capable of receiving them.

–Dag Hammarsköld

Sunday Sayings – A Bad Day

Knowing your own darkness, is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people

– Carl Jung

Are You Having a Bad Day?

Recently a family member had a bad day. A really bad day.

Everyone has them.

Some are worse than others.

No matter how bad it becomes, a bad day is just a bad day, it is not a sentence. 

It’s painful for the person going through the mental pain and suffering of a bad day and can be equally as difficult for those supporting them. Unlike a physical injury or ailment, there may be no visible cause that is obvious to others. Some folks are driven to extreme actions to stem their mental anguish.

Bad times or adversity affect us and our mood. People do bad, hurtful things to others.

We have no control over what other people do. 

We CAN, however, decide not to let it affect who we are and where you’re headed, as this Native American proverb infers:

You cannot prevent the birds of sadness passing over your head, but you can prevent them from making a nest of your hair.

Native American Proverb

What We Can Do

• Keep in mind that every bad day passes. What’s done is done and is in the past.
• Acknowlege the setback and make adjustments to it.
• Do not dwell and re-play the events over and over in your head, for this makes them a bigger part of your life.
• Do not make it anything more than a bad day. 
• Events may be terrible and inescapable at times, but you always have choice – if not when, then how, to proceed onward.

You always have choice – if not when, then how, to proceed onward.

There is always a way to take the next step forward on the path you’ve chosen.  Be that minor or major. There are always options, always something you CAN choose to do.

This is where to direct your focus.

Every day brings the prospect of new hope and new possibilities.

I find there to be profound wisdom in proverbs, sayings and quotes and I marvel at the way they are so succinct in communicating messages to the reader. Mostly anonymous, they come to us from past generations and from across cultures. They speak of the experiences of lives lived and lessons learned.

Quotes, like proverbs, make us think more deeply about something.

Sunday Sayings give us Something to Ponder About

Poetry Challenge for July

The A and I Bilingual Poetry Challenge runs each month until October.

The prompt for July is:

Turn on the radio to any channel.

Write a poem inspired by the first thing you hear

(lyrics to a song, a commercial, etc.)

This is my contribution.

 

A Mother’s Lament

So innocent, and vital, that smiley young boy,

With giggles and laughs, so charmingly coy.

Growing so tall after you donned that uniform;

Jumping so eagerly at war, which the suited men had spawned.

At home here we hear of the deathly horror you’ve seen,

It seems like everything turned black, when you turned 19.

Half a man returned home; as your soul is still there.

Seeing you broken is more than a mother can bear.

Each day, the gulf between us slowly widening,

as you keep running from the shadows, there’s no denying.

No more giggles, no smiles and never a laugh;

I don’t understand why you avoid photographs.

You close down any talk, you’re consumed with hate,

War’s legacy sinks down on us all, like a lead plate.

But my clock’s running down as time’s marching on,

I  only hope for small reconciliations, before I’m long gone.

I see that smiley young face in the photo on the bureau,

realizing sadly, he’s a stranger, I once used to know.

Amanda – July 2018

For the Afrikaans version of the Poetry Challenge – Visit Ineke at   scrapydo2.wordpress.com

 

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Instructions for Joining the Poetry Challenge:–

Sign up by leaving a comment on this post, so we know you are interested.

Ineke and I will post a poetry prompt and writing tips and links, around 1st day of each month.

You might need to follow our blogs so that the posts show up in your WP reader.

• Using your own idea,  or the monthly prompt supplied, write a post with a poem, either fun or serious and post before the 27th day of that month.
• Include in your post a link or pingback to both:

  scrapydo2.wordpress.com

 Something to Ponder About – forestwoodfolkart.wordpress.com

• Please add the tag A and I Poetry Challenge on YOUR BLOG POST.
• As ping backs sometimes don’t work, please also leave a comment at Ineke’s blog, scrapydo2.wordpress.com and Amanda’s blog, Something to Ponder About, with the url link to YOUR blog post on the challenge post for that month.   N.B. If you do this, others can find their way to your challenge post and create a supportive community too.

• Include the Poetry Challenge badge in your post, if you so wish. (optional)