Slanging a Schnauzer

To my mind, they are irresistible bundles of fur, fun and friendship. Who wouldn’t love a Schnauzer? As hard as it is to believe, it seems there are a few folk about.

Well behaved Schnauzer Dogs

A week or so ago, we were hanging out at our favourite Dog-friendly Cafe. I have to say, Dog Friendly because unlike Europe, most cafes and establishments in Australia are not Dog Friendly, at all.

Certain cafes are open to having dogs visit their premises in dedicated zones and that’s so welcome when you have well-behaved dogs that like to be around their owners. My dogs are part of my family, you see.

My doted dogs are clean and house trained, bark only a little, if you darken our doorstep, in short: they love everyone. One of our dogs is still a puppy, who wants to meet and greet everyone, if we let her. We don’t.

Most people enjoy saying hello to a puppy, or even want to give them a quick pat on the head. One Cafe’s owner even likes to give our dogs a small piece of Brioche bun, when they come to visit.

But it was one comment from a customer, at the Dog-friendly cafe, that had me transfixed to the spot. I was so dumbstruck by this woman’s comment on seeing my puppy, that it took a few minutes, of rooting around in my brain, for a possible explanation. I wondered what she could possibly mean?

Why would she say such a thing? Did I hear her right?

First, let me introduce you to Athena, appropriately named by my daughter, or so I thought. Pretty cute, right?

schnauzer dog in pupsnaps bed

This customer, who sported a black bouffant hairdo, apparently thought otherwise, as she spied Athena settling down under the table across from her.

“What IS that?” the ‘black bouffant spat so loudly that all the patrons at the cafe could hear. “Oh, it looks like something you’d see on the bottom of a shoe!”

The bottom of a shoe? I thought.

Really? Who even says such a thing?

Sadly, it doesn’t end there with negative commentary about cute puppies.

The Schnauzer breeder, with which we are acquainted, received the following report from a puppy purchaser.

“My new “la de da” neighbour who swans around in her ‘Camilla kaftan,’ sucking on pink champagne from an equally “la de da” champagne flute just asked me if, [my Pedigree Schnauzer puppy], was a “bitzer.”

I then replied, “No she’s a purebred mini schnauzer,” as I drank my Coles mineral water from a Hungry Jacks yellow-striped glass. (Okay, to be fair I added Bickfords Lime juice). Anyway she then replies, “Oh that sounds German or something. I’m actually German with some Hungarian and Italian mixed in there.”

My sarcasm escaped and I replied, ” Oh, so you’re a bitzer then”? With that she wafted off yelling “Yann darlink, I need a refill.”

Okay, I’d had a long day and wasn’t in the mood for “Zsa Zsa Gabor,” stuff.

Credit : C.Lindenberg

Clearly, like the black bouffant, this neighbour of said puppy purchaser must be a cat person or the following pictograph is seemingly how she views a canine friend.

What do you think?

Can you see any resemblance to a stiletto or the sole of a sandal?

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61 thoughts on “Slanging a Schnauzer”

  1. Schnauzers first appeared in China some 5,000 years ago, but were refined as a breed in Bavaria in the 18th century. I don’t know, however, if that’s schnauzers in general or one of the 3 sizes.

    The second photo, “Rebel”, looks like a shot of my schnauzer, Wolfgang, on a few occasions when he would prop his front paws on my mother’s leg, as she ate. She had the habit of feeding him table scraps, which I loathed. So he would always stand by her. I would tell him to get down, and he’d give that traditional “puppy dog” look that would only make us laugh. I mean, how could you resist a face like that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for that extra info, Alejandro. I know that they first had the standard Schnauzer then crossed it with an Affenspincher to get the miniature version and a ?Great Dane to get the Giant version.
      If your Wolfgang looked like my Rebel then he must have been a beautiful dog. Rebel is my Princess. We never feed our dogs at the table but will give them small – very small titbits after we finish eating as a way of establishing our pecking order. Then they eat their dinner after us. The Standard Schauzer came to us via a Rescue and we were told we should do that to establish dominance as she was a dominant female. Schnauzers will try to train their owners, if their owners don’t train them, as I am sure you know too well. Smart dogs.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, Wolfgang was extraordinarily beautiful. But then, I’m partial. He was salt & pepper, but I referred to him as silver & white. He looked good with either long or short hair. I never got his ears cropped and I never had the groomer style him with the traditional schnauzer goatee and thick brows. I would just have him buzzed, which made his big very dark brown eyes stand out even more. He’d end up looking an Italian greyhound! Giving him a bath myself was challenging because he’d throw a fit! Brushing his fur the next day was almost impossible. He’d launch into alligator death roll-type movements. Even if I tried to bribe him with a treat, he wasn’t viciously reticent about having his fur combed.


        1. I can understand and empathise with your impartiality, Alejandro. It is easy to be like that as they hijack one’s heart. I love the salt and pepper colour the most.
          Cropping the ears is not lawful here, nor is tail docking. That was stopped by the RSPCA animal welfare group circa 2002. I actually like the Schnauzer with a docked tail. It suits them. But alas, is not allowed. Now we see lots of weird tails because they have not been part of the traits to selectively breed the dogs from.
          It sounds like poor Wolfgang may have had a bad experience with clippers in his past. I seem to recall he had come from a friend and you didn’t raise him as a puppy.


          1. Yes, I essentially adopted / inherited him from a former friend/roommate who hadn’t gotten him in August of 2002, just after he put his older schnauzer to sleep. That dog was about 11 and had suffered kidney failure. But things didn’t work out as roommates (he had too many personal problems), and he couldn’t keep the new puppy. So, he left the apartment in January 2003. I returned home from work on a Friday, and the puppy came bounding out of the back. I had already spent a lot of time with him; taking him outside; feeding and watering him; even giving him baths on occasion. I played with him a lot, too. He’d see me return home and charge at me full-speed!

            My friend left owing me some USD 700, but I always felt I came out better because I got the puppy! I renamed him Wolfgang, and he was mine. Admittedly it was difficult at first because I really wasn’t prepared to have a dog. But I soon realized how good he was for my health. His presence soothed my anxiety and depression – two lifelong nemeses. He did the same for my parents.

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Obviously not, Alison. But even though I don’t like cats that much, I would never denigrate someone’s pet like that. It was quite unbelievable. I still can’t imagine how she could compare a dog to a shoe. And if so, what does that make a cat? A stocking? Lol.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I think your dogs are utterly adorable. Being a dog lover, I tend to feel that way about most dogs. But even if I didn’t, I would never say such a rude thing to someone about their dog. What. The. Heck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was rather perplexing, Laurie. I am sure none of my blogger community would even contemplate such a thought. I am glad you are a dog lover, but I can’t remember if you have a dog yourself, or not?


      1. I cant even imagine why anyone would even think of saying that. We had a dear dog, a Sheltie, whose name was Liam. He died two years ago, and I miss him still. Unfortunately, no more dogs for us. Too busy writing and selling books.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good for you being strong enough to say no to another dog when your lives are busy. Some folks want both, and I am one of them. But when you decide to have a dog, I understand that responsibility of making time in your day for them. They wait all day for it and they give me back so much. Shelties are so beautiful and smart too. Do they lose their coat like a border collie?

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Never waste time trying to think of a witty retort with a slag like that, Amanda: just say, icily,
    “You are VERY rude: keep your comments to yourself, please !”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Your dogs are really cute! I’m a cat person who also likes (most) dogs. That is a really bizarre remark. If you dislike dogs so much why go into a dog-friendly cafe if most of yours are not?! Our favourite local coffee shop is also very dog-friendly and we always pet the ones we see visiting and chat with their owners 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sarah. The Cafe is primarily a cafe, so most of the customers don’t have dogs. The cafe does not mind them coming but it seems that some customers do mind them entering…

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I would like a Schnauzer(preferably a large Schnauzer) just because of the name although they are quite cute too. It also reminds me of a clip from Frasier to do with large noses. I like this Bill Murray quote “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Bill Murray was perceptive. I would also trust a dog that doesn’t like a person too, K. Dogs use body language and pick up on intentions we know nothing about. I believe the Malamutes are particularly adept at this, because they are more closely related to the wolf.
      But who can go past a Schnauzer. There are less than 100 Giant Schnauzers in Australia. So it is just as well you live in the UK. You might find one that needs re-homing or an ex-breeding dog perhaps?


      1. I have been watching a lot of youtube videos about malamutes, They speak more than most people! I just saw a giant schnaze puppy for sale at £3500! Thats twice the price of a GSD puppy!!!


  6. Love the Schnauzer just adorable, they remind me of comfort warmth & loyalty. An old add (can’t remember what for) had a Schnauzer or similar dog bring his owner his slippers, so cozy. Wow some people are just sad aren’t they. A bully not worth any response really. There is a old saying, I often think of in situations such as this. “Pearls before swine”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Comfort, warmth and loyalty are definitely traits of a Schnauzer, Linda. Ours love to do little tricks if it means the promise of a treat or two.
      Your saying reminds me of another unrelated adage my mother used to say when she burped – Pigs must grunt. And yes, this lady did grunt! Lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my gosh! you are certainly more restrained than I would have been. Even reading this makes me livid – the rudeness of some people!

    As someone who grew up with canine siblings (our standing joke amongst me & my 2 other human siblings was that the doggie brethren had it much better than us!), I am indignant. But I am sympathetic to those who are afraid of doggies (eg. my very own 2 children – not sure how that worked out). But nevertheless, there is no reason at all for such cheek & discourtesy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is strange to think someone would think that, let alone say that, Ju-Lyn. Growing up with canine brethren sounds idyllic. No sibling rivalry with doggies. Some kids who are not used to dogs do seem to be frightened of them, but they seem to quickly adjust once they have a canine family member. You don’t have a pup at the moment?


      1. Am afraid no puppies – turns out my husband and I are both allergic. Apparently I am sensitive to all animal hair 😦

        My mother also did not adopt more doggies when our last ones passed on. I think she & dad decided to travel more often

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Amanda you would have loved to have been with us on one particularly memorable evening at a pub in a tiny village in Wales. A couple attempted to enter with a small child. They were promptly turned away with the publican advising the pub eatery was no place for children as it wasn’t a kindergarten. Promptly on that persons heels was a gentleman with a rather wet border collie who was welcomed in and offered the best seat in the house next to the fire so as the dog could ‘dry himself and get warm.’ Whilst I felt for the poor parents, I must say I usually prefer dogs to kids in cafes. They are a lot less intrusive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The fears of dog hair in one’s food is usually unfounded. Apart from the odd bark, the dogs usually sit quietly at the owner’s heels. Kids rarely do that and I might worry a bit for them, if they did.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m a little too selfish for cat or dog.. I travel a lot so it would not be practicle and I am not a neat freak but have a cat/dog hair in the house phobia.. Bitten by dogs and scratched by cats early on in life have left me a little scarred.. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I was a runner, did lots of training out there on the road and when I was 17 2 vicious dogs attacked me.. Not badly but enough to scare me for life.. Thank goodness the neighbour heard the commotion.. 😉 In those days we had a cross dobamin something scary and I was a waitress and when I came home at night I always bought a left over bone with me so that I could give it to the dog and get to the front door. I was scared of our own dog and he sensed it..

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I think it is true that dogs sense fear, whether that is body language or some odour we emit, I am unsure. But I can understand your fear. Powerful and vicious dogs are scary, and I guess that is why policemen use dogs in many situations to apprehend criminals. It is a shame you and the Doberman could not make friends at some point. It would make you fearful of dogs. I am sorry that you were attacked. Having been through a situation where two of our dogs were attacked when we were walking them by an American Staffordshire Dog – one after the other, I can honestly understand how you were traumatised.

              Liked by 1 person

            2. When my mother was about 6 and still living in México City, she says she and her older sister saw a Doberman attack a man. No one could seem to stop the dog, which, she says, tore up the man and made a bloody mess. My aunt confirmed that story. They couldn’t say if the man survived the attack, but it engendered a fear of large dogs in both of them. My aunt would go on to get an Italian greyhound in the late 1960s. I vividly remember him! He had the oddest growl. My dad could imitate him, which would irritate the daylights out of that little dog!

              When we moved into a suburban Dallas home in 1972, my parents promised they’d get me a dog. My father wanted a German shepherd because he’d always liked that breed of dog. My mother was reluctant because she still harbored that phobia. But she decided to swallow her fears, and they got me a German shepherd puppy from a local breeder. We named him Joshua (Josh), and he turned out to be the best part of our lives. Even my mother fell in love with him! He grew to about 100 lbs. (45 kg.) and actually came to fear my mother. She always said, if Josh only knew that all he had to do was growl at her and she’d faint, he wouldn’t be so gentle with her!

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            3. Even after that German shepherd grew, my mother still retained a phobia of Dobermans. Then one of our neighbors – a couple in their late 20s or early 30s – got a chocolate Doberman they named Hans. He grew to about the size, or height, of a pony! He was also one of those dogs that wouldn’t leave you alone when you touched him. The very moment you petted him he would practically harass you! And, of course, he took a liking to my mother. He liked me, too, but whenever we visited, he would almost get up into my mother’s lap. Funniest thing!


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