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blogging, Motivational, Philosophy

Sunday Quotes – Helpful Resources

“We’re here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark.”

-Whoopi Goldberg

Troubled people may often feel an overriding sense of discouragement. Feeling deeply discouraged has a profound effect on a person’s motivation and their ability to solve their problems for themselves.

self care take your power back

The pandemic certainly doesn’t encourage anyone either. Be that in lockdown or under restrictions of movement, it is doubly hard to feel encouraged or hopeful that things will become brighter in the short term.

What do you say when you encounter someone who is feeling discouraged about life’s issues?

Do you ever feel that you can’t find the right words of comfort? I know I do.

Resouces that offer Help or Encouragement

Sometimes, folks are not aware of the resources that are to hand, or how to access resources – resources that will provide them with the much-needed hope and will enable them to solve their own problems.

Perhaps it is their sense of determination, optimism, or humour that is a particular strength of theirs? An ability to refocus on looking at the bigger picture? A reminder about them from a friend can be reassuring.

One thing that may be helpful for people who are struggling to move forward in solving their own problems, is to offer a sense of encouragement that they DO have the resources, at their disposal, to handle these problems and find solutions that are right for them.

Their affinity for overcoming past adversity, their friends or supportive family, access to community or helplines?

Resources will vary from person to person and with every situation or problem, so a one size fits all approach is unlikely to work.

Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

Winston Churchill

What else can we do to help others who are in mental pain or anguish?

  • Don’t fake understanding, use cliches, judgement or tell them you know how they feel!
  • Observe their body language
  • Talk about their personal attributes and strengths they possess that focus on hope and/or practical action.
  • Talk about resources around them and in the community that they can access.
  • Focus on their feelings by asking yourself: “If I was having that experience, what would I be feeling?”
  • Choose the most accurate description to describe what you think they are feeling. Be specific.
  • Listen acceptingly in a positive, reflective way
Credit: www.healthyplace.com

27 thoughts on “Sunday Quotes – Helpful Resources”

  1. Thank you so much for this uplifting reminder. The Churchill quote “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm” is so good. I have courage for the day now😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now just a cotton-pickin’ minute !
    “Don’t fake understanding, use cliches, judgement or tell them you know how they feel!
    { … }
    Choose the most accurate description to describe what you think they are feeling. Be specific.”
    What’s the difference in saying “I know how you feel” and/or “You must mean you’re ..” or words to that effect ?
    I reckon just listening is good. They’ll let you know when they want input !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. M-R you make me laugh. I am not picking cotton. hehe ROFL!
      These are two very different statements. “I know how you feel,” implies you KNOW what the other is feeling and doesn’t allow the other person to enunciate or clarify how they feel themselves. It may put them off saying anything further. Everyone’s experience is so unique how can we assume we KNOW how another person is really feeling. We could be wrong!
      Being specific on the other hand, is not assuming anything, but rather it might sound something like: I think It sounds like you are regretting/ feeling sad/upset about what happened last night? You seem a little down, is that right?
      Listening is great. Reflective listening (without judgement of the person – ie. “You brought it on yourself.” can be even more helpful in opening up the conversation.
      I feel sure you have not had a problem being assertive, but many folks do. They either become aggressive or are too submissive which leads them to think that their needs aren’t being met. Reflective listening can increase levels of trust in a person as they sense that the other person can empathize.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A thoughtful and detailed response, Amanda – thank-you for your time ! (Of course, I have no idea why you say you’re sure I haven’t had problems with being assertive ,, I shall ponder that for ages.)

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        1. Ponder away! Assertive behaviour is something to be lauded. It respects others whilst still respecting oneself and does it in a calm, assured manner. I wonder if you have moments when assertiveness tips over into frustration or anger. How do you prevent that from happening?

          Liked by 1 person

    1. I find the quotes/sayings that focus on what we ‘can’ do, inspiring, Keith! Thanks for your those visits and instructive, salient comments on my Sunday posts. I do really appreciate them!

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        1. Thanks, Keith. I think that is high praise from someone as knowledgeable as yourself.
          This must be the first Olympics I haven’t really watched at all. Usually enjoy the swimming, pole vault, cycling and funnily enough the boxing – even though I am not a boxing fan.
          The prevalence of drugs in sports has turned me off a bit, I am afraid. Which events did you watch?

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          1. Amanda, I understand. The money has also turned me off, as well as the steroids and other drugs. We watched the swimming, diving, gymnastics and track and field, mainly but even watched several others. We did not watch every night, but did when we liked what they were showing. Keith

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Laurie. Many of us, including me are often lost for words in the face of a tsunami of declining mental health. The is no magic solution but comforting, empathic words can be helpful to a person in distress.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Really loved how you highlighted *their feelings* because people start going on about how they’ve themselves been in a similar situation and how they felt then 😅 I was feeling incredibly discouraged and here I am, looking for ways to encourage others. That’s very encouraging in itself! 😃 Thanks for this very uplifting post. More and more people need to read this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wonderful that you can feel so altruistic when already feeling discouraged. You deserve to be commended for that!
      Thanks so much for the compliment. I feel that we might avoid many conflicts if we listened better!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I like this post. You’ve gotten to the core of it, you have to know how to lift yourself up and not stagnate in your troubles. It’s about the lessons, not the hurts. So true.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post and I love all the quotes. I found a t-shirt I want for when my sister comes. For her entire life, I have been listening to her troubles and then talking her off a ledge until she can get to a therapist. The t-shirt says “I’m billing you for this conversation.” It happens a lot as I’m very good at listening and honing in on what’s really going on and diffusing it. Had I the opportunity for higher education, I really probably could have gone into that line of work. I don’t commiserate. That never helps. Just listening and then gentle nudging toward a solution and a professional when appropriate. Sometimes, people just need to hear themselves say what’s going on out loud and then find their own way out. I like to move them in that direction most of the time. I will probably always pay someone to listen to me say things out loud and them brainstorm solutions. My last visit was much like that. I had a partial list of things that would help and together we came up with a couple other good ideas. I have never liked the question “how are you” I always say “as good as I can be” Most people don’t really want to know. If they care to hear more and ask, I’m willing to give up bits. I figure I’m still above ground and putting one wobbly foot in front of the other today. That’s a good day. When someone complains about someone else, you just have to keep reminding them that the only person they can change is themselves. Rarely. We all need someone to hear us. I’ll keep my sweet Dr. on the payroll as long as I’m breathing. 😉 I adore her. I can make her laugh out loud every single time. Does my heart good. She’s my kind of resource. 🙂

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  6. I so appreciate the comprehensive answer, Marlene and thoroughly enjoy reading your pearls of wisdom.
    I think people have so many thoughts twirling around in their head that they really need to verbalise them, to say them out loud to make sense of them, don’t they? It doesn’t work as well to say it to oneself. Some therapists have that role of listening more than any other role. Your Dr. sounds excellent and I wish there were more like this. Tight medical time frames for appointments prevent that, sadly as it would reduce everyday stresses.
    I try to be a good listener – it costs nothing to listen and vital when someone is struggling with their mental health. Friends and family often need to vent to others, to get out frustrations and once the rant is out, the stronger emotions lose most of their sting.
    Like you, I don’t enjoy hearing the question, ‘how are you?’, even though I use it as a greeting myself. (It is the Aussie way). It rarely goes well if I answer the question honestly, so I give a stock answer by and large.
    You are right that people rarely want to know the details. They can be empathic to a degree. At the end of the day, a person could be dying and another may listen, show empathy and even offer help, but after about ten minutes of listening, they are ready to move on with life and perhaps they might change the subject, either because they are uncomfortable to continue listening, or alternatively, in the misguided belief that changing the topics of conversation will cheer the other person up.
    Keep listening and putting that wobbly foot in front of the other wobbly one. Your brain is doing wonderful things when you test those balance skills.

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  7. Hello. I am coming to your blog through a comment you left on Ally’s Spectacled Bean blog. It’s nice to “meet” you. These are challenging times indeed. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone who is struggling is to just be with them…sit with them…listen to them…hug them. I appreciate your uplifting words an encouragement for us all to support each other. I hope you have a lovely day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Christie, Thanks for coming to visit via my comment on Ally’s wonderful blog. Time is a free gift that we can offer to someone who is struggling mentally and it is great if it is given without regard for our own schedule. Even if it means we run late for our next task, it might mean the difference between hopefulness and hopelessness for the other person. I believe hope is the only thing a desperate person might have and vitally important in those moments. It sounds like you understand that well. Lovely to meet you. I will pop over to check out your blog too! Happy Wednesday/Thursday – it is Thursday here in Australia.

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