blogging

Nearly Wasn’t

Phoebe feeling lazy, frowned.

I did it yesterday. Ask Darren.”

Mum was insistent.

It’s your job. She’s desperate for a walk in the park.”

Petra’s tail wagged, effusively. The guilt trip worked. 

Phoebe and Petra were almost at the road, when Mum called from the doorway, holding out Phoebe’s coat,  

Come back. You’ll need this.” They reluctantly complied.

Amidst a screech of tyres and a metallic thud, a car mounted the kerb, flattening the stop sign completely.

Crazy drivers, Phoebe thought. They’ll kill someone one day.

Her mother, white as a sheet and crossing her chest, handed Phoebe her coat.

100 words

For Friday Fictioneers

Photo by Dale Rogerson
stpa logo

47 thoughts on “Nearly Wasn’t”

    1. Loosely based on a real life experience for me and my son, Janis! Except it was a large tree and not a car! These moments cause you to become reflective for a time and really appreciate the continuance of life. They are a shock to the nervous system though.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you David and it was lovely to have your visit StPA and leave a thoughtful comment. Those what if moments in life are indeed sobering. Sometimes I think we need them to jolt us out of our complacency of life? Yeah?
      But the word count is a challenge for me to write well, and convey a descriptive enough message. I am trying to improve.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it would be easy to build suspense by telling the cars side of the story as well, but you know, 100 words is difficult. I hope I am learning to be succinct! Thanks for your insightful and kind comment.

      Like

  1. Good story Amanda. I like how you capture & contrast the different views of mother & daughter. It’s a clever way of presenting the girl’s view of her infallibility vs the mother’s mortification at a disaster averted.

    Have you heard about the terrible Uvalde school shooting in Texas? This story brings to mind the horrible twist of fate that left half the kids in school while another went home with their parents. just before the shooting. The kids who stayed did so because they wanted to watch a movie.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hadn’t heard about half the kids that go sent home. My goodness if your child stayed to watch a movie – and I know one of my kids would have chosen that – it would haunt you for the rest of your days. Those poor families – what grief and torture they must be going through. America is a country born in guns and will die in guns it seems.

      Like

      1. The American psyche wrt guns is incomprehensible. On Sunday there was yet another mass shooting in a shopping mall. A lone gunman with a rifle went into the food court and randomly shot four people. The gunman was shot & killed by another civilian who was legally armed. It was like a shoot-out in a movie. But the worse thing is that it’ll be used as an example as why more Americans need to be armed – to protect themselves!

        Like

        1. This tragic event will be a gift to the NRA, unfortunately. Sceptical me thinks it could even have been a set up between the NRA and a mentally unbalanced person but that seems ridiculous.

          Like

  2. I can relate to this scene perfectly. We live at an intersection where there is a Give Way sign. It has been run over and completely flattened 5 times in 7 years. Often the driver just drives on, if there is no damage to their car. They take the corner lazily and badly. No one has ever been hurt, but it’s like the Monty Python skit…”There goes another one”. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

Everyone is important. What do you have to say?

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.