Throughout our lives, we constantly hear sageful advice such as:
“Treat one another as you would like to be treated yourself “– That wise old Confucian saying of “Do Unto Others as You would have Done Unto You.”
We hear this, we know this, well most of us implicitly know this, yet often despite this, ego takes over. People might become selfish, or narcissistic, or begin to look-out, only for themselves.
Why?
Are they tired, fed up, or have been taken advantage of?
A kind word can have a powerful effect on a stranger, but also for a loved one.
With immediate family, it is often the case that we reveal our true selves, completely unmasked when we are relaxed and comfortable. Some people might border on apathy in the presence of loved ones and let manners fall by the wayside. So sure are they of unconditional acceptance in that herd or group.
However in a workplace, decorum, tact, judgement and professionality is valued and countenanced.
We might hold back from our true thoughts and selves in a workplace.
In doing so, are we still being kind?
By being grateful,
a man makes himself deserving
of yet another kindness.
~ Nigerian Proverb
If holding back in a workplace is the way to be kind, to save our colleague’s feelings, then that must mean if we are honest and speak what we think, within a family setting, we must therefore be unkind and hurtful? Yet in that aura of unconditional love, we are accepted and loved despite our comments. Comments that would be hurtful in other circumstances.
Weekly Proverb
When confronting a family member who has unleashed ‘brutal honesty’, on someone close to you, the perpetrator often become dismissive, stating that they were joking around, or as we say in Australia, “having a go at ya.”Just Friendly banter !
Which leads me to the question of kindness in society, at large?
Is decorum and discretion really a style of kindness that sometimes is thinly veiled in dishonesty?
Weekly Quote
Kindness costs nothing but can mean everything to someone
– Anonymous
Perhaps the Nigerian proverb gives us some insight into the beneficial ripple effect of showing kindness.
Join in on the discussion at Something to Ponder About this Sunday
Something to Ponder About 
Great post 😁
LikeLike
And one more on the universal nature of kindness from Twain’s “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
LikeLiked by 3 people
I do like this one, E.W! Kindness transcends regular boundaries and modes. It doesn’t have to be written down. It is a feeling, an emotion, an action; it is empathy and positivity, altristic and wishfulness all rolled into one.
LikeLike
Not enough genuine kindness around, Amanda: plenty of superficial, but not meaningful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You hit the nail on the head M-R meaningful kindness- that is the best type of kindness of all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To be kind to someone makes not only you but also the receiver feel good. I told a mother one afternoon that she is a caring and good mother. She couldn’t believe that someone could say something like that. She was thankful! Her little five-year girl is very strong-headed and Mummy keeps on being kind to her in a lovely way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It can be so uplifting to hear a positive and kind comment, especially when parenting difficult children. But they probably need to hear it more than most.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another thought provoking post, Amanda. I am particularly taken by why we might hold back from kindness because of fear. This is not a perspective I consider often and would give insight to why some people around me behave in the prickly way they do.
I also recall a Wise Woman saying decades ago to “spread kind gossip” whenever we can. A timely reminder in a time when there seems to be so much negativity and sadness around.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Ju-Lyn, are they sticking to being honest and overriding sensibilities and manners in the process? For fear of not being truthful?
I rather like the saying I have read on the social media realms that states – “Kindness – spread that stuff around everywhere.”
LikeLike
Very, very sad that so many people have lost their willingness to be kind.
LikeLike
Sad. Yes, Peggy. Perhaps there has always been this level of unkindness in society. We just expect it to be less now that we have more awareness? So are we, actually more kind or more aware of the need or obligation, to be kind?
LikeLike
I really like that Buddha quote. A couple of kindness quotes I like:
From the book ‘Wonder’ – “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”
From a song by Jars of Clay – “If our days could be filled with small rebellions / Senseless, brutal acts of kindness from us all”
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have heard the book called Wonder’s quote in slightly different forms before but I am trying to fathom the juxtaposition of the words brutal and kindness together. I haven’t figured it out yet.
LikeLike
I don’t think you can ever have too much kindness. It is so easy to hurt someone, and so hard to erase the hurt.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You make a good point there, Jo. In hurting others, we often overlook that an apology might not erase all the damage that unkindness leaves behind. Damage to the friendship, damage to someone’s else’s self confidence, or worth, or even respect that others have for them. Thanks for raising that, Jo. Let’s spread more kindness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like this about kindness. If you can’t say something nice (kind) say nothing. I do not care at all for the term, “brutal honesty”. There is always a way to address an issue kindly with great tact. So many are too lazy to think of how to do that. My mother was and sister still is brutally honest. They let words come out that hurt others and hurt my heart hearing them. I’ve taught my children the discerning factor about being honest and kind. It works so much better.
LikeLike
Unfortunately there will always exists those whose “criminal” mindsets will never be transformed into the kindness we’d prefer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What critical lesson did they miss? What are they searching for?
LikeLike
I appreciate your blog – and I shared it on my JanBeek this morning. It’s so true… there can never be enough kindness in this world. But we can start with ourselves. Yes we can!
LikeLike