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I Should have Bitten My Tongue

Forestwood

I really should have bitten my tongue, but when then is misunderstanding, prejudice or injustice, I am afraid I just can’t help myself.

hidden garden statue

There I was walking my dogs along a suburban footpath early one Sunday morning when a small dog of mixed designer breed came rushing out of a door, onto the street, towards me and my dogs, barking loudly. Ordinarily, that shouldn’t, or wouldn’t, be a huge concern, as the dog was small, but having been traumatised by a particularly vicious dog attack a few years ago and having not one, but two dogs to protect, one of which was not mine, my anxiety level rose significantly.

Was this approaching dog friendly or aggressive?

Quickly, I realized I couldn’t save both of the dogs should this canine, rapidly hurtling towards me at breakneck speed, suddenly become aggressive, so I had a, ‘Sophie’s Choice,’ moment thinking: Which dog should/could I save?

A horrible thought if there is one.

My level of distress then escalated to panic mode, when I heard a heavy wooden door thud so sharply against the wall, the house it was attached to must have wobbled on its foundations.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

The owner of the small dog, (I assumed), was running out of the house towards me, hysterically screaming and wailing her dog’s name, in full-on adrenaline mode.

Instantly, I was on guard and suspected this dog must indeed be of an aggressive nature, because why else would the owner be SO distressed? Consequently, I reacted by waving one hand madly around in front of my dogs, back and forth, back and forth, in some ridiculously vain effort to stave off a head-on dog attack.

I realise now, I would have looked quite silly as my one flailing arm would have afforded little protection against the jaws of a rabid animal, however small. [Believe me, even aggressive chihuahuas have caused human deaths!] Dogs are able to manoeuvre much faster than one person waving an arm, especially if that one person is trying to hold two dogs on leashes, at the same time.

As I have, unfortunately, experienced before.

Nevertheless, I continued the next-to-useless arm-waving and added in an,”Uh-ah, Uh- ah, keep away,” for good measure. Perhaps it was those words, “keep away,” that incited the crazed owner of the dogs, who by this point was valiantly trying to scoop up her precious pet, while continuing her histrionics.

Naively, I thought an explanation might diffuse her tirade.

“Sorry. My dogs have been attacked previously and I….”

Before I could say another word, a torrent of vehement abuse spewed forth from her mouth, questioning not only my mental state but my actions in triggering her dog! It seems I was responsible for not only her dog running out of the house but most, if not all, the world’s current problems!

Flabbergasted, I retorted that I did nothing wrong and that I was merely trying to protect my dogs as they’d been attacked before, (because sometimes you have to repeat yourself to people who don’t hear the first time😉

The tsunami of name-calling and abuse continued unabated at which point, the husband, or at least a male of some description, in designer pyjamas and coiffured hair appeared at the door, his bare, and overly hirsuit, chest puffed out like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Mr Universe competition.

“Keep Walking,” he shouted authoritatively at me.

“It’s not …“

“I SAID – KEEP WALKING!” – he commanded more loudly and sternly the second time, like I was some belligerent greenhorn army recruit that needed to be intimidated into submission. His index finger was pointed in the direction he wished me to go.

Now – this is where I should have bitten my tongue and just walked away, ‘as instructed.’

I really should have. But that would appear submissive.

Instead, I heard my own slightly shrill rebuttal of the unjust accusations which involved mutterings about speaking to the local authority regarding unrestrained dogs running loose on the street.

I then heard not one, but two doors slam.

Later, over a cup of herbal tea and soothed nerves, I reflected that I could have/should have handled the situation better and now feel embarrassed enough to avoid that street, in the future.

I really should have bitten my tongue. Shouldn’t I?

Du fanger flere fluer med en dråpe honning, enn ei tønne eddik.
You catch more flies with a drop of honey, than a barrel of vinegar.

Norwegian Saying
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Published by Forestwood

A philosophic Aussie writes here at StPA, one who will readily admit to loving Scandinavia. I'm interested in global politics and what drives us to be who we are. Scratch the surface and you'll find a practical Environmentalist with an egalitarian bent, trying to unleash a little creativity via the written word. Scandinavian culture, literature and traditions are close to my heart, even though I'm Australian. Travel and courteous discussions greatly broaden the mind, so I travel if I can and am always up for a vigorous, respectful discussion. I'm an avid reader, a writer and I enjoy photography and crafts, particularly traditional art forms. I hope you'll find 'Something to Ponder About,' in my WordPress Community.

122 thoughts on “I Should have Bitten My Tongue”

    1. Panic isn’t a great friend to have, as you said, even in the best of times, Margaret. The question of how to stop that inbuilt adrenaline response to a perceived dog attack is a difficult one. Psychologists would offer you a convoluted response of checking in with one’s thoughts, whilst alternative therapies may offer acceptance and mindfulness as strategies. There often isn’t the time to do that. That panic mode when that is activated once you have experienced a dog attack is a lightning fast emotional response, and reacting differently requires practice. Yet, who wants to practice being attacked by a dog? Now I carry a walking stick with me to act as a barrier between my dogs and any marauding canine.

      Liked by 1 person

      5. Exactly. I hate bullying and just by reading your account I was Angry. Better to avoid that lane and it’s unpleasant inhabitants in future. I would.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Why in the name of any of the gods should you behave as if you were the guilty party ? – OF COURSE you did the right thing ! I can’t abide bullies, and had you meekly trotted off I would’ve thumped you !!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are right, Mic – the previous experience did make me doubt my ability to cope in that situation. If I had never experienced a dog attack, I may not have been so panicky and assumed the dog was friendly.

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  5. No you shouldn’t. I would have contacted the Council Ranger and reported a vicious dog. I wonder how many others have been accosted.
    This has been happening in Dunoon further up the coast from my place. A friend walking her dog has been “attacked” a couple of times. A report has seemed to stopped these dogs getting out and roaming the streets. I would have told Mr Beefcake to go F#*k himself

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    1. Is that right? The marauding animals are now kept in their yards after complaints? That is great to hear you have got results. I don’t think Mr Beefcake was impressed with my words, but I still can’t fathom the wife’s reaction in the first place, and feel uncomfortable walking past the house. Maybe they had just had a family crisis and I came by at the wrong time? You never know what kind of crap people are dealing with, but why take it out on me? If I had of been walking with my husband, Mr Beefcake may not have been so quick to tell me what to do. Then again, I am glad the M.o.t.h. wasn’t there. It might have got very ugly.

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  6. I’m an advocate of biting my tongue, but not in this case. I hope you made a record of their address in case someone else has a similar and less efficient escape. They were the problem.

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    1. Thanks Peggy. I can rely on you to offer a common sense approach. Have no fear – I know the house number and the street. It is etched into my memory. And funnily enough, it is easy to remember as it was No. 13!

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  7. Not at all, I would have said the same only so much worse. How dare he give you commands on a public foot path, you weren’t in his garden and didn’t open his front door. Some people are complete idiots.
    The same has happened to me only my dog at the time grabbed the offending dog and tossed it in the air! I cut the skin around my fingers trying to pull on the lead and later had to have a tetanus injection. The little dog seemed okay but kept coming back and nipping my dogs paws.

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    1. It doesn’t matter if it is a small or big dog, the size of an approaching dog doesn’t always provide a feeling of safety and I can see you well understand the feelings I experienced, Alison. In your situation, your dog sounds like it was either playing with, or trying to tell off the offending dog, as the offending dog wasn’t following the unwritten canine courtesy rules. It didn’t get the message and the consequence was that you had to go see the Dr over the incident. That dog needed some training!
      One of my dogs suffers what is very like PTSD or brain damage from a dog attack that occurred 6 years ago. It changed her personality completely and that was definitely on my mind when I was attempting to stop this dog from approaching. I can understand accidents happen and dogs escape from yards, but I can’t understand the couple’s reaction to me. Especially the army like commands to move on. It was quite strange. I am glad I am not his neighbour.

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  9. I have always been the kind of person that walked away but I feel like it makes such people more confident in their ways. So now I try to get in what I say just so they know they can’t boss people around.

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  10. Well, I can see why the dog acted so aggressively being raised by two aggressive humans! You did nothing wrong, you reacted in the moment after encountering THREE bullies, all of which were flinging insults and commands at you. I can’t imagine this was the first time this has happened, and it won’t be the last. I wouldn’t have kept my mouth shut either, I would have tried to speak in a rational manner as you did, and sadly, it wouldn’t have made any difference either, except to myself, and that is important.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for the vote of confidence in me, Dorothy, although I do feel guilty that I didn’t entirely keep my cool when told to Keep Walking. I think you are right, the dog could have become aggressive if they both reacted like this. I found it really hard behaviour to understand. I imagine they must make loads of enemies.

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  11. Absolutely no way should you have said nothing. Especially when he told you to keep walking. My blood would have boiled with that comment. I think I would have retorted with a very firm, “excuse me?”

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    1. Well, I guess a cowardly guy would have scurried back inside after shouting at me, which is what he did. A funny thing is my daughter was doing a job at the house across the road a week later and they mentioned how they had become friendly with the neighbours opposite them which is the house where the crazy couple lived…. so they can be nice to some people, some time….
      But yes, I was thrown off guard when I was told to keep walking!

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      1. Decorum goes out the window when dogs are attacking. Grand-dog Sadie barks and lunges at dogs walking on the other side of the road. I can’t hold her and move forward, so I shout a greeting and hope they keep walking. My new tactic is to wheel about and head for home. Yes, I turn tail and run.

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  14. Amanda, I am sorry you had a bad experience in the past, as well as this unseemly siege from an aggressive dog. Your being verbally abused for being charged at is not appropriate.

    My dog was attacked in a similar fashion (charging out of the open door) while walking, but this was no small dog. I warded off the dog pounding the pavement. Fortunately, a neighbor was coming home and pulled his car between me and the dog.

    I went back to speak with dog owner after we got back from the vet clinic to suture my dog. The owners assured me that their dog had never done this before and had his shots. I told them that might well be the case, but fortunately I did not have my kids with me (who I almost asked to come with me), as either I would be hurt or your dog would be hurt.

    These dogs charged out of the houses. That is on the owner. When I see an unleashed dog, if something happened, that is on the owner. Everyone’s dog would never do this, until they do.

    I am sorry for your experience.
    Keith

    Liked by 2 people

    1. How often do we hear the mantra of, “He’s never done this before,” after a dog attacks from an owner and no doubt he/she hasn’t. But that doesn’t abrogate their responsibilities. Pounding the pavement is one idea I hadn’t thought of doing before.
      For a good while after the previous attack, which almost killed my two dogs and shortened the life span of one of my dogs, my husband would carry the handle of a maddock/grubber/garden tool, (not sure if you call it that). Our policeman friend had verified it was a walking stick, (as we are not allowed to carry something that might be conceived of as a weapon here in Australia). You should have heard and seen the looks from some pedestrians. Thank goodness we didn’t ever have to use it. We no longer have it, but I do carry a genuine walking stick from time to time. Since this incident, the (genuine) walking stick has been with me when I walk the dogs.
      I am also sorry for what happened to you and your dog. It was good of you to go and speak to the owner afterwards. I do hope they were keen to prevent the situation happening again and compensated you for the veterinary bills.

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  15. Firstly, you had done nothing wrong; the dog owners (not the dog btw) were at fault. Secondly, we all panic sometimes, especially if past events are shaping our reaction to those of the present. Therefore thirdly, you are entitled to react as you feel best at that moment and shouldn’t beat yourself up about whether it was the ‘right’ reaction. There is no ‘right’ reaction, only the one that seems right at the time. You were being shouted at for no good reason so were fully entitled to defend yourself – just as you would have been entitled to walk away if that seemed the best course of action.

    Having said all that I would be just like you, wondering afterwards if I did the right thing in speaking out and challenging these people! But I bet had you not done so and had just walked away, you would now be asking yourself if you had done the right thing in doing that, rather than challenging them. I know I would!!

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    1. Sarah: thank you for your well-thought-out and logical response. I like your clarity and fully agree that had I walked away, without saying anything, I would still be questioning if that was the right response. Perhaps though, had I done that, I could have called on that house again with my husband in tow and talked calmly to the owners about the situation. However, the inner me does not want to think about that too much right as I feel the volatility of the dog’s owners means that situation could easily get out of hand and escalate again. You are so right – there is no one right reaction to a situation like this.

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  16. I had faced the same situation 15 yrs back. Mine was Doberman and the other one was Labrador. The Labrador lady was shouting at me for my mistake for being in the lane where her house was situated. Her gate was open partially and the Labrador fellow utilized the opportunity. Luckily I controlled my fellow yet the lady shouted and was telling that her breed is a mild mannered one and I panicked unnecessarily.
    I realized that I am talking to an egoistic and idiotic person.
    The lady may not be aware of the power of 4 feet Doberman breed I am sure.
    I felt there is no meaning in arguing with that mad and foolish lady and quietly left the place.
    Lesson I learnt was- don’t argue with idiotic ,stupid and foolish people.
    “Arguing with a fool is the easiest way to become one” Unknown
    I think best thing is to bite ones tongue.
    This is my personal opinion.
    Thank you Amanda for giving an opportunity to express my thoughts.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. “Arguing with a fool is the easiest way to become one” – isn’t it always the way that we find guidance in the old sayings, PtP?
      I am very aware of the strength and power in a Doberman’s bite. This is only from reading and not from real experience, thankfully. Having said that, there is a very sweet and docile Doberman living across the road who escaped recently – someone had left the gate open – not the owner but a thief attempting to enter their house. Anyway, the dog was roaming around in the street and came to our door, so I ushered him back to his yard and closed the gate. He was a real lamb but all the time I felt the power that could be unleashed and did not take that lightly.
      The mistake the owner of the Lab made was to let her labrador have the opportunity to get out. It is a public path, is it not? Labradors are often guilty of biting children in play via their bombastic (written off as playful) nature and have power in their jaws akin to a Rottweiler. Add to that, how naive is this woman to think that other folks won’t be walking their dogs along the path? She failed in her responsibility, and I so admire your inner strength in walking away. I wish I had have done so, but my thoughts about the incident prevented me from doing that. As is so typically the case, it is our thinking that determines our emotions, and the way you perceived and regarded the incident presumably enabled your strength of mind in being able to walk away. I will ponder this more in coming days and weeks and use this information as a great example about walking away from stupid, ignorant people. You thanked me for giving you an opportunity to express your thoughts, but it is you have given me a recipe for not just walking away but feeling good about it too. I am indebted to you!
      “Arguing with a fool is the easiest way to become one” – words so inspiring!

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  17. Oh, I wouldn’t beat myself up over these people and THEIR bad manners. I mean, it was an awful situation to find yourself in, BUT you did what made sense to you in the moment based on your past experiences. And as for saying something to them, why not let them know how you felt? They might not be capable of listening to or caring about you, but you cared enough about them to offer an explanation. That’s class.

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    1. Thank you for those supportive words, Ally but I really don’t think my shrill rebuttal early one morning, in a quiet suburban street, could be seen in any way, to be classy. However, at least the remaining residents in the street did not think it was all my fault, as they may have done, if they had just heard Mr Universe! Haha! After reading PtP’s comment, I realise that there is no point at all in arguing with stupid, idiotic people and it is better to maintain one’s composure if possible, say something rational if you wish and yes to walk away. But I think I’ll need some practice to do that!

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      1. I dunno. You stood up to stupid, and that takes some backbone regardless of how shrill you were. I’m not denying that you won’t change anyone’s mind, but you said your truth. And let stupid know you were onto them. Put them on alert as it were.

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  19. You can’t argue with crazy. Lord knows what’s happening behind their closed doors.
    I hear you, I’ve had a panic event and thinking back it’s like a brain short circuit. Maybe we try processing to many things at the same time and the system crashes – like our computer.

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    1. I think a panic reaction is a bit like a brain short circuit and the system does crash. Then, we are essentially on auto-pilot as our limbic system’s flight or fight response becomes activated. Like you, I had wondered about what was happening inside the house at the time. I will never know as I don’t plan on approaching them again. They have since erected a very high solid fence so hopefully the issue will never happen again.

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    1. Thank you, BBYCGN. It is quite incredible how many thoughts pass through one’s head so quickly in a panic situation. It is almost like the body and voice are two steps ahead of the thinking brain!

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    1. That often seems to be the case, Ineke! Even if they apologize in the melee, once back in their homes, they proclaim their innocence and blame the other dog! It is quite ridiculous but I guess a way of them not facing up to accepting any blame.

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  24. No, you were right to stand up for yourself. And you can excuse your later frustration by thinking how awful the bully was and how much damage he could have inflicted on you (it’s not just dogs that get attached, you know). It’s only a pity you didn’t think to take his photograph and publish it in the local press, telling the story of this stupid man and his silly dog. Good on you for your insistence on telling your side.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks so much, Mari! That is a good point that this Mr Universe fellow could well have become physical with me or my dogs and I don’t want to even think about that, or how the M.o.t.h. would react if that happened. It certainly would not defuse the situation. I do think taking his photograph at that moment would have had to be done with his back turned, or else he could have become even more enraged. Especially given that his off the scale reaction to me in the first place. I could have reported it to council, had I taken their photograph and I will do so, if anything happens again. But I will have my camera ready before I reach their house.

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      1. Dear Forestwood

        It was not easy for you as fear from you past experience understandably triggered an emergency response as it were.

        He and she were bullies, and they are often doing this because of fear themselves for some reason. They need to be stood up to or they will continue the same bad behaviour to others, but it is not an easy thing to do. I don’t know how my wife would have done it, but at 5’2″ high and a teacher she often had to face children taller than her!

        But at least you can be prepared should it happen again.

        Kind regards

        Baldmichael

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I really could not understand their reaction at all. It was all so weird and there was definitely no ‘luring,’ by me at all, but then perhaps there were other factors at play happening in their lives that day and I unfortunately bore the brunt of their deflection of that?

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  26. I am not a dog lover but I do respect the right of others to have dogs. However, they need to abide by council regulations and keep their dogs enclosed. You definitely need to report this incident to your local council and they will follow up. Last year I had an incident with a dog on the street and I found the section of the council which deals with dog attacks to be very professional and they acted immediately. Your incident will be classed as a non-bite attack but they will still take it very seriously. What if you had been walking with a small child or if a child or adult was on a bike and was attacked by this dog? I would be sure you aren’t the first to have this dog behave this way and you won’t be the last. You don’t need photographic evidence and you can tell the council exactly which residence the dog lives at. The owners need to be made to take responsibility. Make sure you include their aggression towards you in your report. It’s easy to do – just look up your council website for the contact numbers for the animal control department and make a report over the phone. Good luck!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks for that message of support! I will certainly do that if there is another incident and will think over whether to report this incident. I noticed over the last week when I have driven past (not walking my dog as such) they are erecting a large besser brick fence, and I hope an electric gate. That might help prevent a further incident.

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    1. I don’t think I will be keen to make friends with them anytime soon, Sue T and I was indeed worried for my furbabies. They are my top priority. Thanks for your supportive comment.

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    1. I doubt that had M-R (Margaret Rose) been there, the incident would have ended peacefully, Donna. Although she could probably be more intimidating than Mr. Hairy Chest himself! A clash of the Titans then.

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  29. Oh my, Amanda! my blood pressure rose as I read your account, and my heart was pounding in my ears with indignation by the time I was done.

    The couple behaved quite illogically & ungraciously! And here you were just trying to protect your own! on a public space. I don’t know if I could keep my cool as much as you did, Amanda! This sort

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    1. sorry sorry, accidentally hit “Return”.

      Continuing where I cut myself off: This sort of thing really drives me nuts and brings the worst out in me. The “Current, more Zen” Me would like to think that I could have disconnected myself from the situation as emotions were running high. But I would go back to talk to them at a later time, I think, especially if this is a neighbourhood I frequent; their behaviour is perplexing and a situation I would want to prevent from happening again.

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      1. I have thought about visiting them again to chat about it, Ju-Lyn but I don’t feel like I can. They just don’t seem approachable as they were so irrational. My husband, the M.o.t.h. wanted to know the address but I refused to give him the house number as I know that he would go see them and possibly lose his temper if they acted the same way towards him, which would not help matters at all. I think it is best to work on my approach to a situation like this and using the wonderful suggestions here, take the high ground, (say something calmly about you can’t argue with stupid and closed ears) and then walk away. And make that Council report if it should happen again. I think my mistake was panicking and feeling unjustly accused. Perhaps that was their part of Mr. Hairy Chest’s plan?

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      2. Hello again.

        Forgive me another comment but how about the Harry Potter approach? I don’t know if you are a fan at all, but there is the dealing with bogarts where the thing you fear which the bogart senses in you as it were, is dealt with by making the thing ridiculous.

        You have very nicely called the man Mr Hairy Chest, so try and think of the funniest thing you can. It might help, say, to think of them as the Potties, and he can be ‘Hairy Potty’!

        Kind regards

        Baldmichael

        Liked by 1 person

  30. Don’t think about it too much, Amanda. You were right to be alarmed and equally right to defend yourself. While it’s easy for me to sit here and opine (since I wasn’t there), I feel you should have emphasized you did nothing wrong and for them to stop yelling at you. Again, I wasn’t there, but I believe you behaved appropriately. Just know that, one day, that couple will encounter someone who will not be so amicable as you and respond with enough vitriol to embarrass a sailor.

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    1. Vitriol or not, I don’t think anything would stop Mr Hairy chest from his sergeant like commands. I think he must have guessed wrongly what the situation was, for if this was his normal reaction to something happening, he must be one very unhappy soul indeed. Someone to steer clear off, for sure.

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  31. So you encounter an out of control dog owned by a couple of bullies and it’s you fault? Not at all. Report it to the police and let the bullies tell them where to go!

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    1. Thanks Graham. Apparently it was my fault for walking along a public footpath on the opposite side of the road to their house! Weird, isn’t it, how some people react. Their dog had a pretty pink bow around its neck so perhaps it was somebody else’s precious they were minding and they panicked? But I am probably trying to excuse their volatile behaviour.

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  32. Amanda, I’m appalled at the barrage of verbal abuse you suffered in this incident. As if it wasn’t bad enough with his wife having a go at you for followed by the husband to then interject and order you away is horrendous and frightening. In such a state I think I would also have continued to talk, explain … always hoping that commonsense and civility would prevail. I hope you found some inner peace after this disturbing outing. kram xx ps. I l like the quote and hopefully it works in most circumstances.

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    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Annika. The couple’s reaction was certainly from left of field! Although I doubt that talking to them would have made any difference as I noted whilst walking away muttering that they went inside and shut the door. The Quote is food for thought for me as to how I might approach folks like these and hopefully break through their hard shell, so they can hear what I am saying. I note also that some people don’t want to listen, as they are quite afraid they will be wrong.

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  35. You write in such a way that I felt panicked too..ha. I would have done the same exact thing and then gone home and wrote about it…

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    1. Writing is an excellent way to process strong emotions, Heidi and I hope it also informs and triggers healthy debate. Thanks for the supportive comment that you would have acted in a similar way to me. I don’t think it is the ideal response, but at least is wasn’t aggressive or submissive. I think it is important to be assertive but respectable. Especially when it involves neighbours you need to live in close proximity to.

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  36. Pingback: I Should have Bitten My Tongue – Jackanori, (MPD)

  37. Amanda, thanks for sharing this story about a social event many folks can relate with –
    and one idea for a follow up – just an idea – is to bring them a card and some doggie treats (or a pie or a loaf of sourdough bread and some olive oil) but perhaps a neighborly gift and a little card could assuage much here and change the path to a friendship
    – – I am not saying an apology – because it doesn’t sound like you were in the wrong – but sometimes good friendships come from this kind of thing – or can….
    🙂

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    1. Oh Yvette! I love the way you challenge me to react with kindness and thoughtfulness instead of indignationand frustration. But this guy was so intimidating, so unreasonable, I don’t think I could do what you suggest. This is the first time I have ever encountered them and I hope the last. If, on the other hand, if they lived on my exact street and not a half block away, I would really think about try out your suggestion. You must have a great relationship with your neighbours?

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      1. Hi – we do have great relationships and have worked at it – but they also have made it easy and we have to had the rude encounter you did
        – however, back in 2001- we did get a mean typed letter from a neighbor who lived in back of us
        quick story?
        okay – I ll keep it quick
        so we had a black lab and chow collie dog –
        well the black lab was a whiny dog and partly our fault for “below average” training (even tho labs are so easy anyway) but when she was out on the patio (we had a pool that was fenced off and then a big area for the dogs and toys etc )
        well she always preferred to be in and would have this yelp every few minutes – well I guess one night we had dinner and had music on and that went on for an hour.
        The typewritten later (think I still have it in the attic) was complaining about the dog’s noise and was mean.
        well, I sent over an apology and I think some baked goods (I think I was a sugar pusher at the time – lol)
        the guy invited us over – and he was a 70 year old retired man who design stoves at GE back in his day – so cool
        he also gave us a “teak wood” music tower – one of a kind item that had little wooden balls drop in and it played different notes – I gave it away and regteeed it for a while – but oh well –
        anyhow, I knew how annoying “that” black lab could be and so it was was to reach out and apologize
        –
        and if you are not up to it – I understand
        but “a soft answer turns away wrath” and a little kindness goes a long way
        and you know – they could be really great people and they just need to know how absolutely awesome you are – because they have only seen your startled and momma brea protective side so far….

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      2. My instinct tells me it would not be well received in this case but I will definitely keep it in mind in the future. Your graciousness paid off for you! But who could have an issue with someone with soft answers and baking? Thank you for providing me with an alternative view. A visit prefaced by an anonymous letter to these folk might actually work wonders.

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      3. well just ponder what is best in this situation
        – and I do have one more quick story
        – a while back we were walking my son’s dog (12 months and still learning his walk stride) with our black lab and we went around this cul-de-sac and we have never seen a dog on this street and we picked a route that had less chances of seeing people or other dogs –
        anyhow, we were leaving the street and coming out of the front door came a man and a really strong little dog (maybe a boxer? ) and it started our dogs – and Amanda – it was so quick and they started going right toward the dogs before we could use a command or tug the leash
        well my leash got wrapped into my husband’s and then they were pulling us and my spouse grabbed the basketball pole that was there (thank god for that being at the end of their driveway) and we just all paused – it was like a scene from the three stooges and at one point – I asked the guy to bring his dog back inside – he seemed to be clueless that we needed some help – and then we got the dog’s attention back and got untangled and left – we did laugh but we also had some post stress from it.
        it was such a weird thing to have the dog come out of the door at that moment and startle the pups –
        and so I really could relate to what happened in your case – these things happen so fast

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      4. I agree – it happens so very fast! You don’t really have too much time to think, it is more an automatic reaction. Thank goodness for a basketball pole and that dog was not aggressive. Dogs can slip through an open door or gate so quickly. We spotted the dog, an American Staffy that attacked our dogs a few years back, probably one third of a second before it body slammed our dog to the concrete path. Noone could have stopped it.

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      5. ouch- that was super fast.
        – and another lesson we learned – our brown lab walks so much better with his little muzzle on – so we will not skip that anymore.

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      7. Hi – I had to look it up and yes- that is what we have – the thin canvas kind of simple one – I guess a halti – and so good for training

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      8. I also prefer to use a halti to walk one of our dogs. I agree that they walk better using it. Some people are concerned when they see it and our granddog doesn’t like when we are putting it on, but for a headstrong dog, it can save your wrists! And the dogs quickly forget about wearing it when they walk out the door of the house. There are far too many other interesting things outside to take their attention.

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      9. Hi – I agree that some people might see the halti and think “Huh?”
        and good point about the wrists – totally forgot about that strain that can come from a pulling dog.
        when I first walked our brown lab – he was lumber excited (mellow and not pulling) but he would kind of leap and arch his back – I called it a reindeer arch or reindeer leap – hard to explain.
        But later I pieced it together that he was so used to the halti on walks with former owners he must have felt “free” and alive and that is why he was so joyful. It was super funny to see – I think I got video of it once. Anyhow, that waned and now he sniffs and pees a drizzle here and there – hahahaha
        —

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      10. No dog having pressure on their nose but the walks are still enjoyable, even so. I can imagine the Lab’s reindeer leap! What a fun dog. I also can hear he is now a refined senior who takes things slower.

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      11. yes – he is not senior at a little over four years – but he tested positive for Lyme when he was three (that might slow him down) and we give him a special meat and sardine diet to help – but he also is just on the mellow side and the family that gave him up would have kept him (because they loved him so much and he he has this fun habit of being at your feet when we cook- we can shoo him away but he slips there and just quietly waits – it is cute and the former owner sent us a photo of her at the stove with Elway at her feet)
        but the reason they gave him up (besides getting another Great Pyrenees dog – to go with their goats and cats and chickens) is because they gave away his sister – a white Lab who was a little wild and she at live chickens and all that –
        so after they gave her away – elway started to roam and leave the property (even crossing the electric fence) and they had headaches from going out to find him three times in one weekend
        and Amanda – they later said that they think he was going to find his sister (sad, huh)
        anyhow, he was made for us and it was a God appointment –
        and he is mellow but when we go on hikes in the woods – he seems to have a new fervor and acts like a spring pup

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