
The M.o.t.h. (Man of the house) was part of a big family and extended family. As was his father, who had nine siblings, all of whom were raised on a large dairy farm in a rich, agricultural valley in country Queensland, the so-called Sunshine State.
Both households were a sea of children, tiny legs scurrying about the house and lots of conversation and activity. By contrast, my home life was pin-drop quiet. I had one other sibling and little extended family as did another of my hubby’s in-laws.
Initially, the two of us found marrying into this big family atmosphere daunting, (we confused names for the first few months), but quickly became accustomed to Sunday night dinner with 35+ people and countless grandchildren and the dishes and dishes of food.

Morning tea was always an art form in that family.
Even more so, a generation back at the M.o.t.h.’s Grandparent’s house where the entire extended family would gather once a month, on a Sunday. Even today, an old Aunt says if you are going to have morning tea, it has to be a [family name] styled morning tea.
A Country Morning Tea Worth its Weight in Cream and Butter
A morning tea at the Grandparent’s house consisted of featherweight sponge cakes with lashings of freshly whipped cream, straight from the dairy, endless batches of scones with jam, served hot from the oven, biscuits (read: cookies), and pots and pots of tea in china cups, not mugs. The sound of tinkling spoons bounced off the walls amidst the conversational prattle of brothers and sisters catching up on gossip.
[I have written about the famous scones and that cook once before – recipe included]
One of their adult daughters had married another farmer who grew watermelons on his farm. Thus, the pack of grandkids would sit on the stairs, eating freshly picked watermelons and spitting the pips out onto the ground. No doubt there was a competition to see who could spit the pips the farthest.

There was always plenty to do at the farm, plenty to eat and no shortage of kids to play with, according to the M.o.t.h.
An old Aunt recalls one of the farm horses fondly. The horse was more human than horse. – so much loved by the kids and considered part of the family.
The old horse, let’s call him Tom because his name escapes me. Tom would participate in the morning tea rituals too. He’d invite himself up on the verandah of the old house and join in with some morning tea treat through the open door. For him to reach the verandah entailed negotiating a flight of stairs! No mean feat for a horse. But what would I know, I was only a “townie.” We had no horses.

My husband’s Grandmother – an extremely capable but rather stout woman of Prussian origins had raised ten children of her own and breastfed them all whilst running a large dairy farm.
She easily managed a Roast chicken lunch for 50 or so folks, an hour or two after morning tea. The eldest son – who had never married, had the job of killing four or five chooks and plucking them, ready for roasting. Vegetables were served along with cauliflower submerged in a bath of bacon and cream sauce. Dessert featured more artery-blocking dishes of cream and butter. It was hearty food.
The morning tea and lunches had long ended, when I arrived on the scene, as both Grandparents had passed on by then. I envied my husband’s tales of these cholesterol-filled extended family feastings with their convivial, country atmosphere. Horses on the verandah and cows in the pasture. Idyllic when compared to Sunday afternoon with my widowed Grandmother and one sibling who annoyingly refused invitations to play.
But,
I have it on good authority that there was one ritual this large country family followed that was at odds with the wholesome country values they seemingly represented. One that I thankfully avoided.
And that came to pass only after lunch was over.
Once the dishes were done, (of course), the T.V. was turned to the World Championship Wrestling. Skull Murphy was a favourite competitor.
My sister-in-law informs me no child would dare speak a single word during the wrestling show. If any child did speak, they were brusquely ushered outside to play. Staying meant you were required to watch the show in reverent silence. Skull Murphy was their absolute favourite.
Even as a young fella, my M.o.t.h. could understand that much of the wrestling program was entertainment and certain scenes were staged. But try as anyone might the old grandparents refused to believe the show wasn’t 100% genuine.
To suggest otherwise was sacrilegious.

Granted, Sunday matinée television viewing in country Australia in the late ’60s and 70s was probably limited to one station with no other choice of program, in any case. But I still can’t come to terms with the juxtaposition of wrestling with mild-mannered, hearty and gentle, country folk.
What were visits to your Grandparents’ like?
Did they have a regular family observance or tradition?
Happy Australia Invasion Day
Some cheeky Australian humour for you . Like the wrestling – it is not all true, (some is), but here to entertain:


Sunday lunch with Mum and Dad which included the three married children and spouses, my sister and I was probably once a month. We had chooks, so I helped Dad with the chook prep duties.
After a few years it was my job, as the baby of the family, to entertain my brothers and sisters young children.
Saturday morning tea was always scones, jam and cream. One of my brothers always visited Mum and Dad on Saturday mornings and especially Mum after Dad died.
The big family meal was Christmas lunch. Twelve adults, nine children. I sometimes tried to help cook so I wouldn’t have to wash up
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Sounding pretty famil-y- iar!! Scones are so Aussie, hey! Even more than Anzacs. But did you get the prize winning recipe?
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I don’t think so. I think one of my sisters may have the cookbooks. I watched them being made a trillion times but it never occurred to me to write it down and heaven forbid remember. Maybe my ex might have asked for the recipe
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That is a shame. There are so many variations to scones. Some are made with lemonade or beer, pumpkin, others with cream, or just butter rubbed into flour. I like the one made with cream – which of course, came from this part of the family. It is so easy no rubbing in of butter or fussing. I won several prizes at the RNA show in Brisbane for them. If you ever want to give them a go, here is the recipe: https://forestwoodfolkart.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/scones-with-tea-a-morning-tradition/
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Butter in flour is a memory. Thanks for the recipe I don’t bake very much.
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No worries, Brian. I have cut back on the amount of baking I do as a way to reduce calorific intake.
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👍😁
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Sounds like a fairytale to me. So many people, so much food and an ongoing ritual for years.
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Families are not like that very often anymore. One child families are increasingly common.
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No they aren’t, and people aren’t the same generous hearted people as they were in those days
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What wonderful stories! Whenever I visit Australia, I am always amazed by the resilience of the early settlers. Your map made me laugh because clearly some people think Australia is like that.
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Some of the outback pioneers were stubborn buggers, Sheree. Rough as guts and they never quit!
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Wow! Amanda, you have a whole book of stories here and you describe the Sunday rituals vividly. What an incredible family and such a wonderful albeit daunting tradition. The big gathering sounds a bit like Christmas at my grandparents, the house full of family, us cousins playing away, about fifty plus in the house. Years later I realised that house was not that big but it never felt cramped and it was all a wonderful adventure! Special days – thank you for reminding me about them!
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I guess there would be a bunch of stories here, Annika and I wanted to write this one down when it came to mind, in case I forgot. Your Christmases sound picture book perfect and such fun. It must have been an event to really look forward to. Was that in England or Sweden?
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That was in Sweden, on a small island off the west coast which was only accessible by ferry. Some of my cousins and one uncle and aunt still live there which is wonderful!
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Off the Bohuslan coast? Oh – that area is the stuff of my dreams and straight out of a Camilla Lackberg novel. (I have read them all). It is a magical region. I was reading some posts on the blogger Kewtiebird who was recently visiting the area. https://kewtiebird.com/2022/12/14/summer-travels-a-visit-to-hunnebostrand/
Reading her posts made me reminisce about my visits there. I was going to compile a reciprocal post in response to Kewtie’s. I just haven’t got to it yet.
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What a bunch of characters! I’ve never heard it called invasion day before. Love the map too! Maggie
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Australia Day has suddenly become very controversial – should we celebrate the arrival of white people who committed genocide on a traditional race of people who had been on this continent for 40,000 years? The oldest continuous living culture in the world? Australians are reframing their view of their culture and its nationalist pride. There is talk of changing the day from Australia 26, (the day the white settlers arrived) because for the Aboriginals – it was no celebration.
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Oh ya, difficult what the date stands for and not independence date. There has been some talk of changing how we celebrate it here, Canada, but our’s is the anniversary of our constitution rather than an invasion date.
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Yes using the constitution would be easier. In Australia’s case though that would be 1st jan… so they would probably prefer a different date than new years day – but what day to pick from the 350 on offer…..
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My husband’s father was one of seven siblings, most of whom had several children (my husband in contrast was an only child). He (my husband not father in law) was the only one to move any distance from their home city. When we go to family gatherings everyone always comes over for a chat as they don’t see us very often. Even now, more then forty years into our marriage, there are cousins I can’t put a name to!
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I can relate Sarah to having to search my brain for the name of a one of my hubby’s cousins. Your gatherings sound similar. I imagine tea featured strongly in them? And what foods?
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Much more beer than tea 😄 As to food, these gatherings usually involve a traditional North East buffet – lots of starch and meat, e.g. sausage rolls, pies, stotties (large bread rolls), maybe fried chicken legs, quiche, pizza slices etc.
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I see modem cuisine had made its way into the traditional gatherings.
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All those things have been eaten (and drunk) for several generations here, none of that seems ‘modern’ to me 😀
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Pizza slices have been eaten for several generations???
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OK maybe they are a bit newer!
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What were visits to your Grandparents’ like? I only knew one grandparent, my mother’s father. He was a grump but let me blow out the match he used to light his cigar so I liked that.
Did they have a regular family observance or tradition? Not really. Or at least not by the time I arrived.
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Blowing out the match for a little kid was probably a bit like the blowing out the candles on a cake, so I could see how it would appeal, Ally.
Small families are completely different to really large ones, in their dynamics, conversation and their celebrations. Mind you, there were a grump or two sprinkled around in that jolly bunch, I mentioned. The eldest son of that family was reportedly always grumpy. It is little wonder he was single. He came into money at age 70, when the huge dairy farm was sold and lo and behold, a wife suddenly appeared from the ether! He was married and lived happily so until he died. He would be the only 70 year old virgin I know! Lol!
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Wonderful memories Amanda! Love the breakfast tea!
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Dorothy – do you call it breakfast tea and not morning tea when it is held around 9.30 – 10 am?
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With such a bounty, we’d probably just call it brunch!
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It often is!
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I just updated with the Scone recipe from this wonderful country cook – in case it interested you, Dorothy. I think you call our version of scones: biscuits in USA? Here is the recipe: https://forestwoodfolkart.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/scones-with-tea-a-morning-tradition/
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Yes, this looks somewhat like an American biscuit recipe, there are no eggs and not sweetened, but we usually have chilled butter incorporated. Scones usually have a fast like butter as well, they are usually sweetened, and often have eggs and fresh or dried fruits added. Such a complicated maze of quick breads!
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Interesting. Yes a scone is a kind of short bread I guess – a bit like a damper.
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I’ve never made a damper, do they have a fat, or just the basics of flour and milk and leavening?
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There is definitely fat and leavening fortified flour. Water is used mostly but sometimes milk.
bread which was traditionally baked at a camp fire in a camp oven.
Predominantly made by stockmen, who looked after live stock and Swagmen who travelled by foot from farm to farm carrying all of their belongings in a swag (a kind of roll up bed).
These labourers would be in remote locations for long periods of time and had only basic ingredients for cooking.
bread which was traditionally baked at a camp fire in a camp oven.
Predominantly made by stockmen, who looked after live stock and Swagmen who travelled by foot from farm to farm carrying all of their belongings in a swag (a kind of roll up bed).
These labourers would be in remote locations for long periods of time and had only basic ingredients for cooking.
bread which was traditionally baked at a camp fire in a camp oven.
Predominantly made by stockmen, who looked after live stock and Swagmen who travelled by foot from farm to farm carrying all of their belongings in a swag (a kind of roll up bed).
These labourers would be in remote locations for long periods of time and had only basic ingredients for cooking.
traditionally baked at a camp fire in a camp oven.
Predominantly made by stockmen, who looked after live stock and Swagmen who travelled by foot from farm to farm carrying all of their belongings in a swag (a kind of roll up bed).
These labourers would be in remote locations for long periods of time and had only basic ingredients for cooking.
Traditionally cooked in a camp oven, under hot coals, it was a food the travelling swagman might prepare, when camped in the outback. Always served with tea and golden syrup or jam.
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Well, I am always delighted to learn about a new bread, and love the simplicity of so many breads that came of difficult situations. Always, there must be bread!
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Bread is good. Period.
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Yes. Bread is good!
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Hi, Amanda – I agree with other readers. This is a wonderful story for sharing. I believe there are many more great stories here! Have you considered putting them into a book?
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These vignettes of life may at one point make their way into some kind of compilation and I am a bit mystified as to why these stories would be appealing? Why would anyone want to read that kind of book?
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Wonderful memories, Amanda. Thank you for giving me a glimpse into your upbringing -and the Australian lifestyle.
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It was more a memory of my husband’s than mine – and I wanted to capture it before it slipped away in the ether. My experience was very much the nuclear family – much more boring- from a child’s perspective!
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I met my husband’s family also very young over the last 30+ years they have become my family as well -the good, the bad, and the ugly- and their memories have interwoven with mine in a very weird and amusing way.
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The tales we hear often make good fodder for stories or blog posts.
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What wonderful memories. We used to stay on a farm once a month and the neighbours had 12 kids. I loved the enthusiasm.
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I think the reason they had larger families was in part, they needed the children to help with all the chores and probably there was very little other entertainment for adults….. 😉
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I enjoyed reading about your husband’s family traditions.
My family (parents and one brother) ate Sunday dinner with Dad’s parents. It worked out well, because my mom was the organist at church. It was wonderful that we could go straight from church to a meal already prepared by their cook. Since we lived in the South, manners had to be impeccable. Because of that early training, I never wondered what fork to use or how to do things properly.
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That sounds like a lovely break for your Mum. Sunday lunches featured strongly in years gone by here too. It was a reason for the family to get together. I think people are far more mobile now and to be tied down to a regular family lunch is somewhat redundant when there is so many other things to do. That is a shame as the lessons learned at those gatherings, be they big or small, were life lessons. How to behave, table etiquette as well as many family stories.
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You summed it up beautifully.
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👍
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That does sound idyllic. It’s what I’d imagine a strong, farming community to be like. My parents both have lots of siblings (9&6 on each side) and I had lots of extended family & cousins. Growing up I had a befuddling mass of uncles, aunties and cousins. I never was able to keep all the names straight. However we didn’t get together nearly as frequently as you mention. Maybe once or twice a year, before everyone split up & went to live in different countries.
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Befuddling is the right word. It took me ages to figure out who belonged to whom in that huge family. By the time I was married, the gatherings had been reduced to only occurring at Easter, Christmas and special celebrations. I am amazed at how a family could split up all over the world. Was it hard to keep in touch with everyone? Did each group stay in the place they had re-located to? I know you moved around several places, but what about the others?
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That’s an interesting question Amanda. For a number of different reasons, almost an entire generation of ethnic Chinese left Jamaican & emigrated to different countries. They primarily went to US (Miami, New York) and Canada (Toronto) where they formed close-knit communities, particularly amongst the older generations like my parents. The younger generation, like myself were often too busy with school/work/new families to keep up. Like most modern, urban families we stayed close to the immediate family. Reconnecting with extended family is done with Facebook etc. but mostly it seems like we reconnect with weddings & funerals. My Dad keeps contact with all his folks – extended family, friends from his youth – and it’s mostly through social events organised by a local community association.
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Those community organizations played a vital role in connection and keeping the old cultural traditions alive in a new country. That’s why I became involved with the ethnic Scandinavian clubs here.
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Wonderful memories of family togetherness.
My mother came from a large family of uncles and cousins, my grandfather were seven brothers and one sister, all living under one roof, a mansion in Old Delhi. We
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Surely lots of stories in that mansion too?
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Continuing ….. we were in a different city and summer holidays were spent in Delhi. The rest is memories of food flavors and varieties, the pranks we would play on elders. Slowly everyone moved out to their own abodes and by the time I was in my teens there were no summer family frolics .
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I loved reading this. I learned new things about M.o.t.h’s family. What fun it must have been growing up with all those other children.
On the subject of wrestling, my mum’s sister who lived in England and was very much a lady I loved reading this. I learned new things about M.o.t.h’s family. What fun it must have been growing up with all those other children.
On the subject of wrestling, my mum’s sister who lived in England and was very much a lady, also loved watching wrestling on a Sunday afternoon. I think she too thought it was real.
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There must have been more than a few folks duped by the wrestling. Apparently, Skull Murphy was a Canadian who in later life died from am overdose is sleeping pills!!
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I can’t e
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I can’t even imagine such a big family. And to cook for 50 people.but that morning tea sounds wonderful.how odd that they liked wrestling so much.
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Such a big family is pretty special. I think she was used to catering to a big crowd and of course it was a buffet kind of arrangement so others would also bring plates of food.
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My cousin, Heidi posted that map on her FB page. It’s like saying no one in Australia wants company. 🙂 I had very little connection to grandparents or cousins in either country. I’ve not met many in either country. I often thought a big family on a farm would be my ideal but realize how hard those people had to work to maintain that lifestyle. I was parent to my three younger siblings so only had 2 children of my own. I guess some things look good from the outside but I think I’m quite satisfied with my lot in life. We were a pin drop family as well. No noise, no mess. No fun.
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I don’t know if it was an Aussie or someone else who drew that map. But I guess you may have figured out that by now, Aussies like to take cheap shots or “have a go,” as we say at our fellow countrymen. It is our particular humour to have a good laugh at ourselves. Sarcastic wit is appreciated here and most people don’t take offence at the map.
Big families are the ideal for some but not all and those farmers did work hard. Her daughter described her mother as being worn out before her time….that says it all, doesn’t it?
A lot of German immigrant farmers in that area worked their wives into the ground. Barefoot and pregnant and all of that. So you are right in saying that some things look good on the outside. If you can be satisfied with your life, you have won the lottery!
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Follow me
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I prefer to get to know people and their blogs first.
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Nice
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👍
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Ok but please follow me and introduce me to others
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Impressive! The wrestling thing not so much lol
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I know, right?
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