Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be cathartic. Recently I was given a journal of self-exploration, and it challenged me to circle the things that are most important to me in my life. Things I really value above all else. The trouble is I am prone to over- analysis.
Adding a magnitude of difficulty is that the list was finite. Trouble? I think so.
For example:
- Do I value Laughter? Well of course, but does that include mocking, self-serving or sarcastic laughter – NO.
- Travel – In hindsight I should have circled travel – but it isn’t really essential to contented life, is it? It is more of a bonus in life.
- Earth – I am an environmentalist – I feel a stab of guilt that I neglected to circle this.
- Sight – ???? I didn’t circle it so what does that indicate?
- Home – who doesn’t value their home? Even homeless folk value homes. But what is a home without family?
- Honesty – does that make me a dishonest person. Why didn’t I circle honesty?
- Shoes – I am not a girl obsessed with shoes. Why is this even an option? Then again, it is pretty hard to go without shoes altogether.
You see – Over-analysis. It is a problem!
I framed the book’s question as matters most essential to me – things that I would not want to be without. But they needed a few more options, I thought.
Things I would add to this list:
- Respect,
- Compassion,
- Nurturing
- Care,
- Empathy
- Hope
- Blogging!!!
The final task in this exercise in self-exploration was to circle the things that you would rather worship/admire/value.
My list looked like this:
Are you noticing a theme here? I circled the same seven things!
If you completed this exercise, what would it be that you circled?
What are the things you worship/value/that are most important to you in your life ?
What then would you circle as things you would rather worship/value?
What else do you think should be included in the darn list?
Something Important to Ponder About
I definitely would have included music, beauty, books and ocean and would have added nature.
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All the beautiful calming things. Hard to do without books. I was torn about including that, but thought knowledge encompassed books and knowledge from other sources, including people. Music – My son would agree with you, Colonialist, but although it is special, I don’t value it above the other items. In my head, I keep my musical memories if I cannot hear them. You and I agree on Nature. I cannot live without that in more ways than one. Nature is supreme and commands our love and respect.
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Music and books naturally rate high with me because they take up so much of my time while correcting, teaching, creating and simply enjoying.
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Do you teach music Colonialist?
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Not professionally; just a grounding in recorder, piano and violin for the grandkids ā when I trap them successfully.
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Haha!! They must be very energetic!
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Wonderful to visit your blog Amada and read your post.
I would most definitely circle Nature.. Earth and Nature are the same thing to me,
Skills a definite also.. They to me are skills in my artwork, crafts, knitting and gardening skills..
Family would also be my choice, they mean a lot to me.
Knowledge would also be on my checklist.. Its been a constant in my life learning and absorbing, one doesnāt need to be a genius, but we all need to be aware and process that which we find.
Imagination I think would also be on my list, for with it comes creativity,
LOVE most certainly, is the most important element that binds everything else together.
Loved reading your analysis Amanda, and many thanks for your visit to my Garden Blog You may get confused as I reply using my main blog as I do not get to see the updates otherwise in my notifications
Much love
Sue
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Thank you for that lovely comment and reply, Sue. It is a delight to meet you via your blogs. I can see that we have in common most of the things we value. The best start to a friendship! I am sure Marlene would agree about circling Books. I had second thoughts about including imagination. That was definitely one I was on the fence about. Imagination has been the key to many of our progress as a species on earth and is terribly important and useful. While this exercise is a bit of fun, I think it is useful to have this exploration into what is vitally important to us. Many of us don’t stop to think about it – we simply react. How long has you been practising your handicraft skills?
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Wonderful to meet you too Amanda, and yes I hovered over books too, but after pondering on it, I lived many years without reading any, as I was just too busy with working full time as well as being a mum of two. So books had to take a back burner for a big chunk of my life.. But I made up for it later as I once again became a sponge soaking up much of the material Marlene and I are passionate about. And I know we have many of the same titles upon our shelves.
I have painted and knitted, sewn and done most anything that needs to be done all my life.. My Dad would always say there is no such word as Can’t.. So if You try, you can achieve good results at most things… We may not be the best in our crafts, I am far from it, as I aspire to many an artists talents, but so long as we are happy with our creations.. lol
I nearly mentioned ‘Solitude’ too.. because I am also quite content in my own company..
Many thanks for your follow too Amanda..
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I love that you are content in your own company, Sue. That is something to really treasure. As I am more on the introvert side than the extrovert side, I do get that. Too much social interaction exhausts me and I feel much more confident with the written word than the verbal one. However, I also get lonely without company and I suppose that is a fear of mine. I admire those who do not feel lonely. You are also right about the crafts. I can always learn more and get better. Although I have given up on the knitting. I have tried many times, but crochet comes much easier than knitting for some reason. Do you use the continental method or the British technique? I have tried both to no avail – but the continental one was more fun. It was the tension of the knit I never could master.
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British I use, and while I can crochet, and have made things with crocheting, I guess because I was taught to knit first by my gran, its developed over the years as my own skills have increased with trial and error.. I don’t mind admitting I make mistakes and my hubby can not even fathom how I can unravel a garment back after putting hours of work into it.. But knitting can be unforgiving if you do not pay attention lol.. I once knitted two fronts the same side of a cardigan and didn’t realise until the very end… lol, š Tension is a hard one, I knit on the lose side, so now always know to alter my size of needles.. š
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I was originally taught the British way, but continental seemed to take less time. I am thinking I should have persisted when young. I am in awe of those folk who can watch TV whilst they knit. Amazing! And the Norwegian women I know are all extremely competent knitters. Most of them knitted socks and jumpers to wear when the were young. Necessity is the mother of invention, it seems. ( the cold climate it became an essential skill). I am in Australia, Are you in the same region as Marlene?
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I am afraid I am one of those who can watch tv, hold an conversation while knitting, so long as I have the pattern memorised.. But there are some patterns, even I need silence and concentration on, and the yoke of this next garment when I get there will need such attention lol..
And yes to the knitted goods for colder climbs,
I live in England.. the East Midlands area.. Robin Hood Country and only a few miles from Sherwood Forest and the Major Oak.. š I have friends who have emigrated to Australia, One to Perth, and the other to Melbourne… š
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Ooo. Sherwood Forest. You maybe a descendant! Lol! Thanks for explaining though, as I wouldn’t have a clue about where the East Midlands area is. I suspected you would be extremely competent at knitting. I am envious, but in a good way! I am sure that the cardigan muff was never repeated.
And oh yes, we have a few Poms out here. Hehe. We love you all. If it wasn’t for the British, I probably would not be sitting here.
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Haha.. all lessons are well learned Amanda haha… and yes I have a few blogging friends from there too, some who have been mutual blogging friends for years.. š
Wishing you a wonderful day/evening .. I am going to shut down here for a while and pick up my needles again.. š LOVED my chat with you today Amanda.. and hope we will hold many more such conversations.. Take care and Much love
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Likewise. Time for me to get some sleep. Lovely chatting.
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š sweet dreams.. ā¤
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Empathy & wisdom.
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Thank you, John. I totally agree with you on Empathy – and wisdom. How the world would be different if wisdom could be splashed around like gifts!
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Oh I love challenges like these. I just wrote a post with links about self-improvement, so this is spot on to where I am in my thinking right now. That being said, like you I’m an overthinker so I cannot just pick a value without belaboring the point… so no answer to your question right now. Food for thought though, definitely.
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I am sure these exercises are meant to tap into one’s first knee jerk response, Ally. For folks like us might approach it far too analytically. It was most likely not intended as such when those options were written. Of course, we could make up our own list of options. Perhaps you and I could do that and re-post on our blogs?
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I’m sure I’ve seen a list like this one somewhere else along the way. I think it was part of a book about deciding what’s important to you, so whatcha going to do for a living. Career advice. I like your idea of making our own lists, but that, of course, will take oodles of thinking… because I am She Who Ponders Too Much. Knee jerk reactions? Ha!
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Perhaps the lists might never be complete? And that is the way it should be, perhaps?
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Yes, I’m sure you’re right about that. Ever evolving, ever onward go I!
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Oooh, I think you are over-thinking!
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Of course I am. Lol!
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šš
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I am probably the Queen of Over – Thinking. When I chose the colour selections for my new house, my interior consultant told me I thought too deeply. I probably have changed my mind about colours only five or six times….. LOL
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I can be a tad like that at times…
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It is not the best personality trait but has its uses.
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š
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Such a lovely post! I would probably circle all the things you have and add honesty, travel and music. But I guess you canāt have family, love, friendship without honesty… you canāt have anything without honesty… so ! Interestingly, I have been working on a somewhat similar post that I hope to finish soon and look forward to hearing your thoughts on that:)
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What a coincidence that you are also working on the same sort of post. Maybe we should start a challenge for others? I think you are correct in saying it is hard to have anything without honesty. Without honesty there is no trust. Without trust, it is indeed hard to deepen relationships further than surface friendship. Travel – yes, it is something that has given me much and is very desirable, but maybe for me not completely essential. I do value immensely the travel I have been so lucky to have, especially the overseas trips to Scandinavia. Where have you travelled that you feel is most important?
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I am going to reply very soon to this, bear with me a littleā¦ currently dealing with my sonās pneumonia and trying to keep the infant safe š I love your idea of starting a challenge! Replying soon! Hope all is going well with youš
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No worries. Take your time and tend to your famuly first. You can always come back to this later. For some reason wordpress states your blog is no longer available.
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Thanks! My son is gradually getting better but is still down. About the wordpress, I have encountered this problem myself a couple of times..I have no clue why. I had to refresh the page a couple of times and it worked then. Thanks for bringing this to my notice…I will look into it.
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I wasn’t aware about your son, does he have depression? I have some experience with that with my sons too. I am sorry to hear that. I hope things improve soon. It is very difficult to watch that as a parent and be unable to help. Btw, I still can’t access your blog it seems. Is it a setting?
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I found a work around. I google your blog url and it gives me a link to your blog, Moon. Ha. Foiled the wordpress gremlins.
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Hi! Could you see the blog? I asked a couple of my friends here and the blog is visible to them. I got in touch with WordPress and they couldnāt help much:(
I am sorry to hear about your sons… it does break the heart when we canāt help much. My four year old has been feeling low because his pneumonia is not letting him kick the ball outside since he has been advised as much rest as possible for quicker healing!
I am almost done writing that post I was talking about the other day and hope to post it by the end of the day! And I so want you to be able to read that.. hoping earnestly that the visibility issue gets resolvedš
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Ah pneumonia is very exhausting for some time after the acute stage. Hope he has a fast recovery. My son is fully recovered now, thank goodness. Can you post the url link to your post as a comment here?
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here you go- https://acacophonouslife.com/
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I like your choices, and additions too, especially respect. I had a quick look and I think I wouldnāt circle skills but keep all your other choices and add books, culture, honesty and imagination. Oh yes, and home, most certainly. But most importantly, my second list would also be the same as my first. Why not doing something if youād prefer it?
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Yes the second list is a little redundant, I agree Manja. And honesty and imagination seems to be common points that quite a few responders would include. I think I was remiss in not including imagination, but honesty means that saving someone feelings by telling a small white lie would be eliminated and I think sometimes, that is necessary for diplomacy. I would never advocate outright lying but withholding information that might hurt or damage another, is occasionally necessary. Or is that dishonest?
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Withholding information is the only possible way to live. No worries. Itās not dishonest. Itās common sense.
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I am glad you understand what I meant there, Manja.
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My mother always said.. marry a man with a sense of humour that makes you laugh.. š
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What great advice! And did you?
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Amanda, I have been working my way through the exact same book! I’ll have to check what I circled! Overthinking can get in the way of getting stuff done sometimes, but when we remodeled our house last year, we changed our minds repeatedly about colors, carpeting, etc.. In the end it took a little longer, but we have no regrets with any of the choices, except perhaps just a bit with the loop carpeting. It’s prone to snagging! But now we know! š
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What a funny coincidence, Sabine! How have you found the book? It does challenge me to jot down some of my thoughts and make me reflect and appreciate some things I always take for granted. I will be interested to hear what you circled. But more interesting is that you can help me avoid some of the common pitfalls when designing new or renovating old spaces. I can so relate to changing your mind about colour choices. And this is where over thinking tendencies like mine, are trouble. I had to make so many decisions about my house. It was difficult knowing whether my splashback in the kitchen was too dark, and I had no idea about loop carpeting. I think I went for a fairly dense pile, that was my husband’s decision mainly. Walls is off white, Floor tiles are grey – lots of grey – so I lightened it up with blond timber cabinets and white bench tops. What colour scheme did you go for?
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I came across the book at a bookstore and thought it would be interesting to pick up and browse through to whichever page catches my eye. I shall write about it sometime! As for the colors we chose, I first picked up lots of color cards at the paint shop. We narrowed the choices down and then I went and bought around 10 to 15 different samples of the colors we liked. I painted large patches on the wall so we could see what it would look like at different times of the day. In the end we picked a color called āgeranium roseā. A very pale yellow-cream and white ceilings. The carpetās a light almond color and the kitchen is all white. We got white quartz counter tops that have a marble type look. Itās so dark and grey in the winter that keeping it sunny and bright was important to us. We are happy with the outcome and careful shopping helped keep the cost down.
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Sounds lovely Sabine. I particularly like the sounds of the yellow cream and white ceilings. Gorgeous. Is it on your blog? Colour is such a difficult thing to choose and get right. I went to a presentation on colorby a paint colour the other night and they actually suggested buying the sample paint pots and trying it out. Can’t really do that when the house is getting built but I do agree it is the only way to be sure. I did do that once before in my old house. That was the way we got the dark red color just right. Looked good too. I understand about the greys in your neck of the woods. We should have a lot of light in this house so hopefully won’t be a problem. Grey is all the rage here for exteriors and interiors. That us surprising in counters just coming out of a dark winter. We used to do everything ourselves so letting others do it should be a new experience. I think that some color in thr furnishings should help brighten things up and it sounds like the white benchtops, (Ceasarstone) are a winner. I am wondering whether I should post all thus in a new blog attached to this one or post along with the other usual posts. Is it interesting enough for folks to read about?
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Greyās really popular here as well! Your house is going to be beautiful. If we had as much sunshine as you, weād probably be more adventurous with the colors. I think the only way to find out if it would be a popular post would be to write about the experience. Most people would be able to relate to at least one thing of such an undertaking. Iāll definitely read it! š
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Years ago, I completed a similar ‘values test’ where you needed to circle 10 out of 100 words on the page. I no longer have that sheet, but I believe that I would pretty much circle the same 10 words today. I did your quiz quickly, trying hard not to overthink. Here are my top 7:
God
Love
Family
Friendship
Earth
Honesty
Knowledge
I wanted to add Home and Generosity, but thought that 9 would be cheating!
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A fabulous list, Donna. And perfect that you stopped yourself over-thinking it too much. It seems there is a lot of us who agree on love and family, as well as friendship and earth. I guess this relates to the fundamental human needs for life, do you think?
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There are many things that I deeply value, but then there are others things that I feel society has pressured me into valuing. I could address all of the points on your photo, but I won’t. We’d be here all day. Also, I believe our values change as we get older. Sure, some will remain with us, as they are our core values, but others… they come and go.
Thank you for the pleasant entry.
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Thanks for an intelligent and well thought comment, Chexednut. I think you have a good point there that whilst values are given to us early on in life via the principal people in our lives, they may change, particularly it seems around adolescence. It seems to be a conscious decision to adopt different values, whereas the ones we have from very early in life, seem to be absorbed via ‘osmosis.’ It is only later that we question their validity for us.
To your point about society pressuring you into certain values, I can say I haven’t thought about that angle previously, but I am sure you are right. But I am a little intrigued – can you say which ones you were pressured into. If you would rather not, no problem. I think we could even say that society pressures us to value certain skills and knowledge. Would all of us be as motivated to learn extra information if it wasn’t needed in our daily lives?
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Letās take money, for example. Everyone is brainwashed into believing that it will solve all their problems. Only the rare person realizes they no longer require it has a core value to be happy.
Iām trying to think of what else was on your list, but nothing is springing to mind! lol
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Mmmm, some of these that Iād circle need an additional word or two, like laughter, a good belly laugh. And Pleasure, lifeās healthy little pleasures. Without additional clarification these could mis-interpreted. And Iām with you on honesty, I couldnāt have circled that one because sometimes itās kind to be less than honest. EG: the husband of an aquaintence recently passed away after 65 years of marriage. She has Alzheimerās, he was physically ok. They were joined at hip almost. Theyāre very religious, I am not. When she forgets heās passed away and looks for him, I remind her heās with God now. I tell her heās gone ahead to prepare everything for when her turns comes, and that heās looking out for just the way he always has. I donāt believe what Iām saying for a minute so Iām being totally dishonest, and I think thatās the right way to be in this circumstance. Now hereās my list: love, friendship, music, knowledge, generosity, imagination, nature, family, and pleasure and laughter as stipulated above.
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Thank you so much for sharing this! You are so right, we hold ourselves back when we donāt allow ourselves to fully express ourselves.
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We are often a little hesitant of fully expressing ourselves. Society places constraints on us in terms of politeness, boundaries, social conventions and peer trends. Often we feel judged for who we are by the actions we do. This seems particularly so, when we are teens, don’t you think?
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Being another over-thinker, activities like these tend to give me anxiety. What is the right thing to circle?ā¦ I want to say this one but it dependsā¦ Maybe I should circle that because people will think it weird if I donātā¦. How many am I allowed to circle?ā¦ Is that too many?ā¦ Too few?ā¦
Thanks for sharing your own lists. I think it takes courage for an over-thinker to share their thoughts.
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All great questions, Heather. And all ones that definitely ran through mt head whenI did this exercise. But courage? I am not convinced. I think I share sometimes for the benefit of gaining feedback on my much over analysed decisions?
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You’ll notice I didn’t share mine so you’re still braver than I. Has the feedback you’ve received been helpful?
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Yes, I think so. But maybe I will regret it later, Heather. Very interesting and re -affirming to see that most of us have roughly the same priorities and dilemmas. Would you say that there was anything obvious that has been left out off the list?
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I would agree with John that empathy should be on the list. I think many of the worldās problems stem from a lack of empathy for others, the ability to put ourselves in anotherās shoes.
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As I said in the post,How could they leave off respect, compassion, nurturing, care, empathy, hope, and blogging!!! But above all, empathy.
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Hey Amanda! Found my way to this older post through Random Raiders hosted by peNdantry. The “logo” at the end of your post is missing.
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Thanks, Ju-Lyn. You are a random raider too?
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I just joined up!
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Wonderful!
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I see that you liked the article so much you re-blogged.
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