Australians are renowned for a wry sense of humour. If there is something we do well down under, it is to poke fun at each other in a friendly ironic kind of way. This is not to offend, but merely to spread around a little joy and to lighten the mood. A laugh can be a wonderful health booster.
It’s been a tradition here at Something to Ponder About to publish a tongue-in-cheek Australiana post, in typical Australian fashion, in a nod to Australia Day, which is presently celebrated on January 26th, (the date of which becomes more and more controversial every year).
Then he asked, ‘So what is Australia like?’
Over the years, foreigners and overseas friends have referred to me as an “ARSE-TRAIL-LIAN.” Not because I have been rude or obnoxious, it is just their pronunciation or accent. Which is kind of funny in an ironic way – as we do live ‘down-under’ -the ‘arse’ end of the world!
Given that our homeland is affectionately called ‘Straya’ – we should perhaps be called ‘A-stray-ans’ more and ‘Arse-trailians’ less.
Who are Australians Anyway?
You don’t have to go back far to find Australians are immigrants. Even the indigenous people traveled here by sea or land bridges some 80,000 years ago.
Our nations embraces Indigenous, Asian, British, South African, Greek or Italian and many other heritages, besides that lot that jumped ship from across the ditch (aka New Zealand).
We do regard New Zealand as our sibling country. We poke reciprocal fun at Kiwis and they at us Aussies, most of all. We fight about which nation claims the Pavlovas, Lamingtons and Russell Crowe, as their own. Neither side takes offence. It is just that friendly banter style of communication we have with our closest neighbours across the ditch – in that ironic kind of way.
Goodness, even our constitution listed New Zealand as a ‘state of Australia’, but the Kiwis didn’t agree and opted out. Good on them, I say.
Questions and Answers for Those New to Australia
For those who don’t know us, here’s a Q & A to get you acquainted.
Q: What is Australia like?
A: A more or less egalitarian country fringed by spectacular beaches, with a whole lot of red desert in the middle.
Q. Is Australia a country, a continent, or an island?
A: It is all three.
Q: What is the weather like?
A: In most of the country, there are only two seasons – warm and too darn hot.
Q: How hot does it get?
A: Summer in Australia lasts for five months with temperatures reaching 38- 42 degrees celsius. Australians cool off at the beach in summer and get horribly sunburnt. Sunscreen is an absolute must and unless you are super-diligent about applying it, you will get sunburnt. Twenty years after a bad sunburn experience, we become wrinkle-ly and Doctors excise skin cancers from our nose and face. Shit happens.
Q: What is the most important thing to have with you, when visiting Australia?
A: Water. It is crucial. Drink at least 3 litres a day. Don’t leave home without it, or you could die – of heatstroke.
Q: What language do Australians speak?
A: We speak English and add lots of slang. We pronounce Melbourne as Mel-bin, Brisbane as Bris-bin, Sydney as Sydney and Australia as Oz. Most Aussies think we have the best country in the world, but that is debatable – but only by the other countries.
NB. Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you have lived for several years. It won’t end well. Trust me on that. Read more on the Aussie Slanguage here.
Q: Are Australians good at swimming?
A: Yes, yes and yes. We need some way to escape the crocodiles! Every Australia learns to swim before they can crawl. Almost.
Q: Can Australia kill you?
A: Between spiders, killer sharks, deadly stingers, crocodiles in the fresh and the saltwater plus the most venomous snakes in the world, Australia can kill you. It just doesn’t happen all that often.
Take cattle farmer Colin Deveraux’ – he even fended off an attack from a 3.2 metre crocodile by biting it back – on its eyelid! No longer Crocodile Dundee – it’s now Crocodile Deveraux!
Q: Are Australians friendly to foreigners?
A: Yes, Aussies are always willing to say g’day and help out a stranger in ‘strife,’ as long as you don’t tell them what to do. We have a bit of a ‘class’ chip on our shoulder, stemming from colonial days.
Q: Do Kangaroos hop down the middle of Australian streets?
A: Yes, sometimes. It depends on which street and the weather.
Q. Do Australian hamburgers contain beetroot?
A: Who eats a burger without beetroot? Come on! It’s essential – period.
Q: Are Australians weird?
A: We call a WeedWacker, a ‘Whipper-Snipper’, and a traffic cone is a Witch’s hat. Is that weird? It’s your call.
Oh, but what is weird is our love of constructing exaggerated sized and typically tacky tourist attractions. For reasons yet undetermined. Examples include- The Big Pineapple, The Big Banana and The Big Prawn – all iconic landmarks. [Nuff said.]
So on January 26, chuck a sanga on the barbie for Straya day, mate!
Happy January 26th, Australia.
Wonderful post, made me smile… I have a friend who emigrated to Australia around 15 years ago to Perth, And have a lovely blogging friend who travels around Australia..
I enjoyed the Images too 🙂 and all of the humour and banter..
Happy Australia Day..
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Thank you Sue. Who are your blogging friends that travel Australia? I may have come across them, but if not, would be happy to check them out.
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When I get back to my PC I will forward the link .. xx
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Wonderful, indeed! Did you know that out of the top 5 best cities to live in (as of 2023), 2 were in Australia?
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Melbourne? SYDNEY?
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Yes. YES! 🙂
https://www.cntraveler.com/gallery/the-most-livable-cities-in-the-world
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They are lovely cities. Sydney is less navigable than Melbourne but has that phenomenal harbour and mountains close by. Have you ever visited our shores?
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Happy Australia Day, Amanda!
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Many thanks, Jane! Good of you to stop by!
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This was fun.
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A giggle is always good for the soul.
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That was a lot of fun.
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I am glad you found it funny, Anne!
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We have a similar large pineapple in the village of Bathurst, not far from where I live 🙂
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What the? Bathurst? Bathurst, Australia? I know Bathurst really well but haven’t been there for years. I must investigate this!
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No 🙂 Bathurst in South Africa 🙂 🙂
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Ah. So they are two!
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Happy Straya Day!
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Thanks Dorothy! Well done on the lingo!
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As a South African I see some of your claims differently (you mentioned neither cricket nor rugby!)- As a German I was intrigued by the map. To the west of Adelaide it states: “Some German guy.” Who? Why? I tried to find a reference on other maps but to no avail. Won’t you help me?
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Click to access her-fact-hahndorfsha-factsheet.pdf
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Thank you for that history lesson. Interesting. A bit puzzling – changing the name because of world war 1 anti-German sentiments, and then changing back in 1936 (!) and keeping it throughout world war 2. More puzzling to me, though, why this Mr Hahn seems to hold the same importance as one million cane toads, at least on this map. 😄
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I see MR has already given you the information about Hahndorf. The German heritage became a reason for tourists to visit the region – another factor in keeping the name. The Prussian descendants living in that area – some of whom I am related to – are quite proud of their heritage. Re Mr Hahn- I don’t think the scale is as relevant as the humour, Knickers. And cane toads are a huge problem – unstoppable and disgusting creatures that kill native wildlife. As for interning Germans – The society in Australia had changed by WWII and there was not such much prejudice against those with German names or heritage – we were more enlightened by WWII – although Japanese living in Australia were still interned. We were more fearful of Japanese invasion than German spies living in Australia by 1939.
And yes, I didn’t mention cricket or rugby. Male sport is not really of much interest to me. Too much drug use, misogyny and appalling behaviour and the players are very well paid for such antics. Aussie men idolise the players, I do not!
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Thanks to you, too. I just thought that the German guy got a lot of weight compared to toads. 😄 I am fond of rugby as a game (cricket puts me to sleep) – it’s my concession to a sports following husband. Liking rugby saves me from liking cricket, tennis, football, … 😉
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Understood, Knickers. Compromises are always a good option especially regarding men and sport.
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Happy Straya Day! Is it tomorrow already? My friend in Canberra traditionally tells me whether the world has ended on his January 1st. Well, since Y2K. It’s handy to know.
We have a bunch of those roadside oddities, too. Particularly along Route 66. They make the world a little more fun.
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Yes it is tomorrow already, today! Haha!
Good on your Canberrian friend who lets you know that the world has or has not ended. You know New Zealand has the jump on us for New Year – they are 3 hours ahead in time!
Good to know that Australia is not alone in our fascination of “big” things! Or ‘Roadside oddities,’ as you so eloquently described them. They are fun to visit and do attract tourists. Selfies at the Big Pineapple/Banana are the thing!
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So you’re saying I need a Kiwi friend to be sure whether the world has ended overnight? 😉
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It might be advantageous having a New Zealand friend, if you want to be first to know about the apocalypse! Hahaha.
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I think every country is weird and mighty proud of it, but the Australian map is priceless. We have something similar here. The “German Guy” made me laugh. We have those here, they made villages full of sausages and beer.
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I am glad this gave you a laugh, Bridget. That was the intention. The ‘German guy’ notation tickled me too.
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😂
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😆 (and love “whipper-snipper”!)
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Glad you liked it Kewtie! In failing to come up for a name for the newly developed device that cuts weed from lawns, each device must have used its brand name….I wonder how many names that weed cutter really has?
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A fun article, beautifully written.
Nice to know the things about ARSE-TRAIL-LIAN
I enjoyed reading, Amanda.
Thank you.
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Laughing is so good for the soul. ( when employed with respect). Have a great day, PtP!
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Agree.
Thank you, Amanda.
Have a great weekend!
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I like this … fun & useful. Hopefully someday I will visit your land. Happy Australia Day.
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I hope you do come to visit us, Frank. And that my humble ramblings have been an introduction to our land! Please let me know if you plan to travel to SE Queensland.
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Aussies are good travelers … and we’ve enjoyed our meetings during our travels.
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Aussies are frequent flyers. We love to explore the world, perhaps because we are so far away from everything.
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Lots of smiles here, Amanda. Happy Australia Day to you- whenever you celebrate it! I did wonder, looking at that map, why anyone would ever want to go there, but I know from experience that 2 good friends have the best time ever doing a 3 month house swap there, whenever they can.
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If you took the map of Australia that I included in this post, Jo, no one would ever come, would they? And some people don’t for those reasons. But it is kind of silly and we have many wonderful things to see – that are unique in the world, plants and marsupials and nature, that make a trip down under worthwhile. However, loads of Northern dwellers are just not interested. Too far to travel on a plane, they say. Tell me about it, I say….
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Funny post! I’ve wanted to visit Australia forever, and now I want to visit even more. I’m afraid that I’d have to slather myself in sunscreen for the duration, though. I love that map… are dickhead politicians or poisonous snakes the more dangerous?
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Thanks for a wonderful comment, Janis. I am glad to make you laugh. Laughing is such a great boost for the soul. Thanks also for the reciprocal laugh – your question is entirely justified and I would have to say the former that is, – dickhead politicians. They are far more dangerous and unpredictable! It might even be a contagious disease around the world! The next pandemic? I hope not.
If you ever plan a trip to Australia, do let me know. We could show you around, or have a blogger meet up somewhere. That would also be fun.
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That would be fun! You will absolutely be notified if I ever get down your way.
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Awesome!!
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Well done you !! – delightful post, Amanda ! 🙂
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Happy you found it up to standard MR….
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Fun post. Happy Australia Day!
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Thanks Peggy. Are you back home to celebrate?
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Just home.
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Happy Australia Day ! Interesting post
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Interesting post? I am glad of that. I did hope to trigger a giggle or two. Thanks for the wishes for Australia Day.
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I have family in Sydney for last 30 yrs so am familiar with some quirks
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Having family helps know the pacadillos of Aussies.
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Excellent piece of writing. Now I really want to jump the ditch to come and have a look at all those interesting things. (I first need to get my citizenship and passport)
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Ineke – you really must get that passport but citizenship first. Then you could travel!
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I know. I’m saving to pay for my applications.
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They can be costly.
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That’s the big issue and you can’t pay it off.
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Very interesting piece Amanda
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Glad you found it so, Tanja.
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Currently enjoying the antics of Neil the seal in Tasmania…..and wondering why my sister in law is not among the hazards marked on the map.
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Bahahah Helen re the hazards not marked. A minor omission I trust you’ll overlook? Neil the Seal gets around. A global following, hey? Although I do wonder if the poor thing isn’t entirely well.
The seal, that is, not your in-law…
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There could be room for doubt there….!
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Happy Australia day!
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Thanks so much
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This is wonderful. You’ve answered all my questions about Australia and a few I didn’t know I had about your country. The ‘Straya map is hilarious. And accurate, no doubt.
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So happy you got a laugh out of the Australianisms, Ally. It sounds like I succeeded in spreading a little knowledge of the quirks of my fellow countrymen. Objectives met.
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Nice post
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Thanks
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These posts is so interesting
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Lol! Been giggling with the map you posted. Hahah. Sharks all over and the backpacker murderers! Bet, a traveller backpacker who has never been to Australia will wonder. Hihi.
Nice shot of aussie humor!
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I found it hilarious but some may not get the intent. I am glad you did Kris.
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Whether it’s poking fun at cultural quirks, embracing the outback’s rugged charm, or finding humour in everyday situations, Australians have a knack for finding levity in life’s ups and downs.
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Indeed Australians do, poke fun at cultural crooks but hopefully all intended in a fun life-hearted way, Bala. You are right because we tend to focus more on the positive than the negative. Some people can read this as dismissive of serious situations, but I think just how we cope.
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I love this post, pleased I have found you after you visited me. Being here 25 years and before that 40+ in New Zealand and being with Jack, one of the few actually born here and not from a “pomme” background! (I am a Pomme!) I chuckled my way through this post. But you forgot to mention Pharlap now firmly believed to be an Aussie.
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Oh yes, Phar lap. The iconic racehorse. We so wanted to believe he did not die for no reason and concocted the poisoning story which had since been debunked.
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Very beautiful Australia
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Fun post. Thank you. It did remind me of my days working for the Brits. At the annual conference, the guy from New Zealand made his presentation and one of my Brit mates sitting next to me said: “We should really get subtitles for John. I don’t understand a word.” (I felt relieved.” On the other hand, other Brit friends tell me there are parts of the UK where they don’t understand a word. Funny how simple things as rhythm and prononciation can change things.
Loved the term “Straya”. Hadn’t read it before.
Hope you had a good “Straya” day. Controversy notwithstanding.
🙏🏻
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Hey Brian, Thanks for the Aussie day wishes. You probably won’t hear Straya from anyone but Australians. When I was time, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else than my country and thought how lucky are we?
Travelling changed my perspective significantly. I still think we are blessed to live in Australia, but there are also other places where I could see myself living quite happily.
The kiwi accent is very easy for us to understand. Interestingly, we have no differing dialects at all. Presumably because we are a new country?
Farmers in rural Denmark have their own language that most Danes cannot even understand! Amazing.
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I think you have many good things going for you. There are probably issues to improve as anywhere, but who doesn’t?
About the Kiwi accent, we all realised in our conferences that the Australian had no difficulty whatsoever… Proximity. Most difficult thing about accents is rhythm, more than pronuuncation. The way words are accented. If the rhythm is different, your ear expects a different “tone” and doesn’t catch up.
Not surprised about the Danes.
I probably told you that I went to Grad school in the US, in Alabama, the Deep, Deep South. Couldn’t understand the “Southern drawl” for 2-3 weeks. Rhythm. Then “Ah was all raght, bless mah soul…”
Cheers.
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Yes, I think there is something in that, Brian. The rhythm of speech. A vastly different rhythm may create a hiccup in the decoding secctors of the brain, as would pronunciation. How did you find the Scottish brogue?
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I’ve only heard one, a friend and colleague when I worked for the Brits. He was London-weathered. He was all right. Except when he sped up. Then we went “slow down, Paul, slow down…” 😉
He played very good billiards.
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I find the Scottish and some Irish accents hard but perhaps I would also become more accustomed to them after a few weeks of immersion. I can hear in my head your Paul going ‘twenty to the dozen,’ in a Scottish brogue.
I love the term London-weathered. Poetic!
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“Airish” is tough too. We once visited an old Irish friend in “Doblin”. She held a party with friends in our honour… I had to pay very close attention.
Now an English E-friend of mine (Derrick Knight. You may know him) once told that there were places in the Uk where he understood zip. 😉
Poetic? Maybe. English has the advantage (a bit like German maybe) that you can build “new words/expressions” and people understand.
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Ah Airish… spot on phonetic spelling. Yes, I follow Derrick, the blogger, and am surprised that the UK would not be familiar with all their dialects and accents. But then the Danes have a similar issue. I hope someone is deliberately preserving those endangered dialects or documenting them at least, as the small number of speakers leaves them vulnerable to extinction.
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Phonetic indeed. I have a good ear. Helps understand some stuff. I think the UK is still very much regional. Kent apparently has a slightly different accent than Sussex, etc. Eventually all accents might disappear as in France where there’s practically only “Southern” accents that vary from mainstream, “flat” French.
Happy week-end, “Astrid.” 🙏🏻
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I can see some smaller dialects disappearing but it is still a great shame. After eradicating some smaller tongues, there are now moves afoot to save them.
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True. As a second language. Breton is a wonderful language, very poetic, nice sound. In the 19th century the teachers sent from the capital eradicated Breton in the classroom and the schoolyard. A shame, but it allowed bretons to really “join” France and grow. Now Brittany is one of France’s most dynamic regions, and they’re reviving the old language…
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Reviving the old? That sounds great!
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It does, particularly since there is a lot of specific Celtic music linked to Breton. So it’s not an “empty” language.
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P.S. so you cannot join up or invent new words in other languages and be generally understood?
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Me? Oh, I do. All the time, it’s the way I learnt Portuguese, listening, figuring out that that word could mean what another similar word means in a cousin language. That’s the way I’m picking my way through Italian, using French, Spanish, and Portuguese. Works most of the time. 😉
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That is fantastic!
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It’s nice. I must add that learning Latin in school (forgot all now) helps a lot. Latin is a language with declinations, so there are “radicals”, the core structure of the word. “Templum” becomes “Templa” in plural. plus other declinations. So you learn to identify the core radical of a word in another language. And identify the language “sauce”. Finestra is window in Italian. In French it is “Fenêtre”. Same structure, just the vowels change…
Same thing I understand between Danish, Swedish and possibly Norwegian?
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Yes it is easy with Norwegian and Danish as the written language is almost identical. Denmark controlled Norway for 700 years. But the Norsk speak and sound more like the Swedes. Many words are the same and only the conjunctions are different. But there are differences and I find Danes living in Australia find it hard to understand Swedes but Norwegians are okay. The European languages are easier on the whole if you have an origin there.
Except Finnish. Totally different. More like the Slavic roots apparently.
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Haha. Funny about the Swedes and Norwegian. There are some cousin languages where one understands the other, but the other doesn’t. Portuguese: many Brazilias understand Spanish. They’re surrounded. Almost no Spanish-speaking Latin American understands Portuguese. Weird isn’t it?
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That IS so weird. You would think those languages are close and there would be lots of common ground.
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Portuguese separated from Spanish in the 1500’s. In some ways it is more… ancient than modern Spanish? So understanding goes one way. I suspect the Dutch understand German and Germans don’t understand Dutch. No evidence. I’ll have to ask.
The thing is: even when there is a lot of common ground, one language often finds it easier to understand the other. Another example. Romanian is a Romance language. I find it almost impossible to “identify” words in Romanian. Now Romanians seem to find it easy to understand Italian. Weird…
Be good Astrid. 🤗
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Hey Brian, Now that you have explained it with the example of the Portuguese and Spanish, that makes a lot of sense.
I think you are right about the Dutch and Germans too. Foreign movies in Germany are all over-dubbed with German, or so I am told. Pperhaps not so much now, (‘Iklastic’ – another blogger might clarify) – so I assume this would lessen the frequency of exposure to another tongue. Interesting discussion, Brian. Danke.
P.S. I am always good! Haha!
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When we lived in Holland, we didn’t have a TV, because all programmes were dubbed in Dutch. Bad decision of my parents. We would have learnt Dutch, which is useful in Holland and from there we would have learnt German easily.
Stay good then… (Love it)
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I was just thinking about those toads (cane toads, perhaps??) that were squished all over the roads after rain in my Brissy childhood. I’ve never seen one single frog in Finland (not to mention toad). Saw some in Spain last year and remembered they existed!
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You are right Snow, They’re called cane toads and they are disgusting and grotesque. Each year they spread further and further across the continent and some are even getting close to Sydney. They were introduced in the 30s to combat the cane beetle – it was a biological disaster that had no effect on the cane beetle and killed so many native animals- they’re toxic to all animals and wildlife and there are a huge problem. We are always frightened they’re kill out dogs as they are around here too. We have to do a Toad Patrol before the dogs go out at night, especially after rain.
Evil things that are Hard to kill too.
I am surprised that given all the rain in Finland, you don’t have any frogs in summer. Thank your stars it would be too cold for the cane toad.
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I guess there must be some (small and cute) frogs here, in the countryside perhaps. 🤷🏼♀️
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