Australian Humour

Australians are renowned for a wry sense of humour. If there is something we do well down under, it is to poke fun at each other in a friendly ironic kind of way. This is not to offend, but merely to spread around a little joy and to lighten the mood. A laugh can be a wonderful health booster.

It’s been a tradition here at Something to Ponder About to publish a tongue-in-cheek Australiana post, in typical Australian fashion, in a nod to Australia Day, which is presently celebrated on January 26th, (the date of which becomes more and more controversial every year).

Then he asked, ‘So what is Australia like?’

Over the years, foreigners and overseas friends have referred to me as an “ARSE-TRAIL-LIAN.” Not because I have been rude or obnoxious, it is just their pronunciation or accent. Which is kind of funny in an ironic way – as we do live ‘down-under’ -the ‘arse’ end of the world!

Given that our homeland is affectionately called ‘Straya’ – we should perhaps be called ‘A-stray-ans’ more and ‘Arse-trailians’ less.

Who are Australians Anyway?

You don’t have to go back far to find Australians are immigrants. Even the indigenous people traveled here by sea or land bridges some 80,000 years ago.

Our nations embraces Indigenous, Asian, British, South African, Greek or Italian and many other heritages, besides that lot that jumped ship from across the ditch (aka New Zealand).

We do regard New Zealand as our sibling country. We poke reciprocal fun at Kiwis and they at us Aussies, most of all. We fight about which nation claims the Pavlovas, Lamingtons and Russell Crowe, as their own. Neither side takes offence. It is just that friendly banter style of communication we have with our closest neighbours across the ditch – in that ironic kind of way.

Goodness, even our constitution listed New Zealand as a ‘state of Australia’, but the Kiwis didn’t agree and opted out. Good on them, I say.

Questions and Answers for Those New to Australia

For those who don’t know us, here’s a Q & A to get you acquainted.

Q: What is Australia like?

A: A more or less egalitarian country fringed by spectacular beaches, with a whole lot of red desert in the middle.

Q. Is Australia a country, a continent, or an island?

A: It is all three.

Q: What is the weather like?

A: In most of the country, there are only two seasons – warm and too darn hot.

Q: How hot does it get?

A: Summer in Australia lasts for five months with temperatures reaching 38- 42 degrees celsius. Australians cool off at the beach in summer and get horribly sunburnt. Sunscreen is an absolute must and unless you are super-diligent about applying it, you will get sunburnt. Twenty years after a bad sunburn experience, we become wrinkle-ly and Doctors excise skin cancers from our nose and face. Shit happens.

Q: What is the most important thing to have with you, when visiting Australia?

A: Water. It is crucial. Drink at least 3 litres a day. Don’t leave home without it, or you could die – of heatstroke.

Q: What language do Australians speak?

A: We speak English and add lots of slang. We pronounce Melbourne as Mel-bin, Brisbane as Bris-bin, Sydney as Sydney and Australia as Oz. Most Aussies think we have the best country in the world, but that is debatable – but only by the other countries.

NB. Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you have lived for several years. It won’t end well. Trust me on that. Read more on the Aussie Slanguage here.

Q: Are Australians good at swimming?

A: Yes, yes and yes. We need some way to escape the crocodiles! Every Australia learns to swim before they can crawl. Almost.

Q: Can Australia kill you?

A: Between spiders, killer sharks, deadly stingers, crocodiles in the fresh and the saltwater plus the most venomous snakes in the world, Australia can kill you. It just doesn’t happen all that often. 

Take cattle farmer Colin Deveraux’ – he even fended off an attack from a 3.2 metre crocodile by biting it back – on its eyelid! No longer Crocodile Dundee – it’s now Crocodile Deveraux!

Q: Are Australians friendly to foreigners?

A: Yes, Aussies are always willing to say g’day and help out a stranger in ‘strife,’ as long as you don’t tell them what to do. We have a bit of a ‘class’ chip on our shoulder, stemming from colonial days.

Q: Do Kangaroos hop down the middle of Australian streets?

A: Yes, sometimes. It depends on which street and the weather.

Q. Do Australian hamburgers contain beetroot?

A: Who eats a burger without beetroot? Come on! It’s essential – period.

Q: Are Australians weird?

A: We call a WeedWacker, a ‘Whipper-Snipper’, and a traffic cone is a Witch’s hat. Is that weird? It’s your call.

Oh, but what is weird is our love of constructing exaggerated sized and typically tacky tourist attractions. For reasons yet undetermined. Examples include- The Big Pineapple, The Big Banana and The Big Prawn – all iconic landmarks. [Nuff said.]

So on January 26, chuck a sanga on the barbie for Straya day, mate!

Happy January 26th, Australia.

Australia – The Poster Child

It seems Australia you have grown up – at last.

No longer the cultural backwater down under the boondocks of the civilised world that it once was in the twentieth century, Kim Beasley – (a former past Prime Ministerial hopeful in an era gone by and latterly ambassador to the USA 2010- 2016), says we have become the poster child to the world.

• The poster child for gun control
• The poster child for democracy
• The poster child for egalitarianism

Our location, once the end of the known world, has become of strategic importance in the geopolitics of the world slanted in a new direction.

He considered our location is militarily critical to countries in the west, not least because we are a multicultural, historically western country, positioned in Asia and next to the most populous Muslim country in the world: Indonesia.

But that also means we are prone to scrutiny and of recent months, just how we treat our indigenous folk.

Global citizens are watching how we treat our indigenous people, (and we don’t have an impressive track record). Once counted in censuses as “wildlife,” until the 1960s, Australian first nations people have an opportunity to participate in the parliamentary process as Australians consider constitutional reform and an indigenous ‘voice,’ to parliament.

The world is watching us consider the wishes of the people who first owned this land, the people who comprise the oldest living culture in the world. It seems that countries outside Australia, sometimes appreciate indigenous culture and art, more than many Australians.

Should the proposed indigenous “Voice,” to parliament not pass in an upcoming referendum I ask just how will the world perceive this poster child then?

Will our reputation be tarnished?

I thought I would ask the blogger’s brains trust that resides outside Australia:

How do you view Australia and Australians?

I would like to know your opinion. Please tell me in a comment whether you think Australia is:

1. Free-thinking
2. A cultural backwater
3. Democratic
4. Easy-going and inclusive
5. Friendly
6. Bogan
7. Racist
8. Lazy
9. Other
10. Where the bloody hell is Australia?

Friendly Friday Challenge – Going Green

If you are put off by political-environmental topics you might want to stop reading now. I was ready to post some fun pics of the unique and amazing Banksia plants that I saw yesterday but decided that was a tad ordinary for the prompt Green.

Sandy’s Friendly Friday prompt of Green made me think of Green energy sources, particularly as there have been rumblings about load shedding and power blackouts since the energy regulators here stamped their foot.

Power-saving Measures at Times of Peak Energy Demand

People in my state, ironically called the Sunshine State, are being asked if they can manage their electricity usage by:

• Considering the number of rooms being heated by air-conditioners
• Turning off computers, TVs and other household appliances in standby mode
• Turning off your pool pumps and second fridges

Commercial businesses are suggested to manage their electricity usage by: 

• Considering the amount of interior and advertising lighting used
• Turning off water heating systems and urns, except for food and beverage preparation and cleaning
• Turning off advertising lighting and any unnecessary exterior lighting
  

Yet the city lights were ablaze in the CBD!

So Who or What Was to Blame for the Power Crisis?

The timing of the announcement of price hikes, potential load shedding and an energy crisis – shortly after a national election – sent my “scepdar” (my sceptic radar) spiking wildly!

This situation must have been obvious prior to the election but was kept from the public? Was there coercion to do so?

The federal energy minister, Chris Bowen, claims the previous Coalition government left behind a “bin fire” that meant Australia was “ill-prepared … for the challenges we are facing today”.

Zero power shortfalls from renewable energy

https://reneweconomy.com.au/five-years-after-blackout-south-australia-now-only-state-with-no-supply-shortfalls/

The above graph, though dated to 2018, is at odds with the former government’s blame-shifting for the power crisis to an over-reliance on renewable energy sources and their hesistancy at decommissioning old coal-fired power stations, but this was in a Pre Covid world and before the Ukrainian war. So ……

What Caused the Energy Crisis in Australia?

An Antarctic blast of cold weather, the war in Ukraine (the reason used for so many things), ageing coal, and Covid restrictions combined to create the ‘perfect storm’ in Australia’s power market, according to the Guardian.

What, I might ask, were those former Government ministers doing to address power shortages up to May 2022?

Did they not foresee a potential crisis, or did they choose to ignore it, thinking that a crisis would play into their hands? Manipulating public opinion to favour building more coal-fired power stations and opening more coal mines and away from renewable or green energy?

If so, what they didn’t factor in was that they would lose the election.

Energy in general has been getting more expensive since about the September 2021 quarter onwards. As economies started to come out of Covid restrictions there was a rush of demand as businesses ramped up and people returned to offices. But Covid also restricted the supply of energy, and if you’ve got the same demand, but less supply, prices will go up.

The Role of Coal Power in Australia’s Power Crisis

Producing coal is cheap in Australia and unfortunately, our country has been reluctant to move away from reliance on its production. Australia still relies on coal to supply electricity, but many coal plants are close to the end of their lifespan, break down and are not maintained. Coal supplies have been affected by the recent summer rains and flooding.

A third of the coal capacity is offline, which has also contributed to rising electricity prices.

And of course, the suppliers do want their money, so they refused to sell extra electric power needed at the ‘capped’ prices the government set, as it meant they would stand to lose money. The cap is to protect the public from price gouging during times of peak demand. (please correct me if I am wrong).

It was a kind of stalemate.

The crisis appears to be averted as the energy suppliers turned on the extra power generation to cover the energy shortfall after they were advised by the Government or regulatory body, that they would be compensated for losing money under the capped prices.

Win-win for them.

And the lights did not go off.

If you have a green energy story or a green photograph for Friendly Friday, join in over at Sandy’s blog.

Because it is better being Green.

Was it Kermit who said that?

Why It is Hard to Change Opinions

In my past life, I was working as a Nurse in a Vascular ward of a large hospital. The ward was brimming with patients with Peripheral Vascular Disease, (PVD), a disease that often narrows the arteries and results from smoking. Without treatment, healthy tissues usually in the lower extremities are starved of blood and therefore oxygen, and die. The patient experiences tingling, numbness, pain or ulceration.

One patient I attended, let’s call him Mr Malley, required a below-knee amputation, due to occluded arteries and impaired circulation from P.V.D.

On removing Mr Malley’s lower leg in the operating theatre, surgeons found the arterial circulation, (blood supply to his lower leg), was so poor, it barely bled at all. Fearing a surgical wound with such impaired circulation would not easily heal, the surgeons made the decision to perform an above-knee operation at the same time, in order to maximise wound healing and the chances of recovery.

Smoking cigarettes was banned in the ward, (in those days, you could smoke outside in the corridor), and Mr Malley knew the consequences if he smoked. On more than one occasion, I found him smoking in his bed.

Despite the Doctors’ warnings, Mr Malley was dogmatic about continuing to smoke, saying that when he had tried to give up smoking, he had almost ruined his marriage.

Whilst I do not know him personally, I suspected Mr Malley used his matrimonial difficulties, however temporary, as an excuse to continue his nicotine habit.

Cognitive dissonance

Blogger Keith muses about how the US Republican Party allows issues such as climate change and gun control, to slip away untouched by policy or pro-activism. This, knowing that dealing with guns and or taking measures to mitigate climate change might be the right thing to do, (because no one in their right mind would not).

Are the big issues too hard for the GOP to deal with? Is sacrificing guns, votes, potential income and wealth too hard when lives are at stake?

Like Mr Malley, the GOP offers excuses to validate their behaviour. Instead of gun restrictions, they see a proliferation of guns, as the solution to mass shootings.

Cognitive Dissonance Driving Human Behaviour

Psychologist Leon Festinger, used the term Cognitive Dissonance to describe how people have an inner need to ensure that their beliefs and behaviours are consistent. Inconsistent or conflicting beliefs lead to disharmony, which people strive to avoid. Cognitive Dissonance can contribute to unhealthy behaviours or poor decisions.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A person who smokes might resolve this dissonance or internal conflict by:

– deciding that they value smoking more than they value health, so the behaviour is “worth it” in terms of risks versus rewards.

– minimising potential drawbacks. “The smoker might convince themselves that the negative health effects have been overstated. They might also assuage their health concerns by believing that they cannot avoid every possible risk out there.

– trying to convince themselves that if they do stop smoking, they will then gain weight, which also presents health risks.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-cognitive-dissonance-2795012

Mr Malley used explanations, (read: excuses) to reduce his own internal conflict about smoking and allow his to continue his detrimental habit without feeling tormented.

What is the GOP doing?

Australia Votes for Decency

In the former Yugoslav country of Slovenia, “liberal newcomer Robert Golob defeated populist, Trump-fan Janes Janša, in an election tipped as a “referendum on democracy.” His movement, launched only in January, snapped a whopping 34.5% of the vote. [Thanks Manja Mexi for the link].

Two days ago, it was Australia’s turn to vote.

A country where voting is compulsory, where the population is generally laid-back; a more or less classless people, where wages have not grown in the past decade unless of course, you are an elected politician.

Since the last election, 3 years ago, an undercurrent of disenchantment, of disgust with the current Government and politicians who appear not to listen to the people, has been growing steadily.

Sounding familiar, anyone?

Growing also, but more recently, was a notable confidence amongst women constituents and a repudiation of their ill-treatment by men in the halls of power as well as a lack of representation, in Government, especially in the right-wing of politics.

This election felt different.

Many, many people voted prior to election day. Many people were disenchanted with the major political parties as one voter wrote:

I do care greatly that we have a political class more concerned with their own welfare and that of their benefactors than the future of the planet. As Adam Bandt said, “this should be a contest of ideas”. This election is not a pub trivia quiz. It is a contest for our children’s and grandchildren’s future. Phillip Moore, Bonnet Bay

The Government Moves to the Right

The incumbent government, a coalition of two formerly more centrist parties were moving much further to the right, with a leader who styled himself along Trumpist/GOP lines: “My way or the highway.” A leader who took himself and his family off to Hawaii during a natural disaster at home with the excuse that he needed a holiday.

A leader who had to ask his wife if the rape of a female staff member in the early hours of the morning, at Parliament House was wrong. A leader who kept his Attorney-General (the highest legal position in Australia), on staff while he was tried for other, rape charges.

People had had enough.

Women, in particular, had had enough.

Women were standing up. It started with a protest march for justice back in 2021. Women began speaking out about sexual harassment in parliament house. The incumbent Government went into denial.

Protest March for Justice for Women in Brisbane, Australia

The Rise of Female Teal Candidates

Female candidates not aligned with any of the major parties stood for election in 2022. They stood for election against sitting Government members. They were dubbed the ‘Teal’ candidates – and together, in this election, this loose grouping snagged around 30% of the vote in some areas, deposing the sitting Liberal Government members.

Along with the Greens Party, the so-called, ‘Teal wave,’ appears to be a political force to be reckoned with.

Most decent-minded Australians are sending a clear message in this election. They don’t want the male spectator-sport combative style of politics, nor the shouting, slanging matches in Parliament.

Rather, they want politicians to be accountable, to be consultative and listen to the people. A place where ideas can be debated productively. Isn’t that a real democracy?

Moreover, Australian women want our parliament to be a place that reflects the real Australian society – which is 50% female.

Am I wrong to think that most people want:

• Gender Equality and improved Status of Women
• An Integrity Commission for Politicians
• Action on Climate Change
• A Voice for Indigenous Folk and First Nations People
• A consultative parliament

Most sane, caring humans would. Labour, the Greens and The Teal Independents do.

However, without a cohesive majority in the Senate or upper house, it won’t be easy for the new Government to achieve real legislative change. I hope they can move quickly and achieve much.

P.M. Anthony Albanese and the Uluru Statment from the Heart

The next Prime Minister of Australia, Anthony Albanese is a more grounded individual than his predecessor. Albanese was raised by a single mum on a disability pension. He grew up in public housing, graduated from a prestigious University and rose through the ranks of party politics to lead the Labor Party and now, Australia.

His victory speech promised to recognize the Uluru Statement from the Heart: a movement of the Australian people for a better future,[for] all sides of politics to support a First Nations Voice to Parliament, so that we can finally have a say on policies and laws that affect us).

This gives hope to Australians that things will be better. As long as mainstream media can retain some objectivity.

I also hope the media do their job as professional reporters a little better, not gutter-raking tattle-tales looking for the next buzzy headline and ‘gotcha’ moment.

When a journalist tried to trap Adam Bandt, the leader of one of the minor parties, the Greens, into making an error on the current Wage Price Index, (thus making him appear uninformed), he responded with,

Google it, mate!

Elections should be ‘contest of ideas’, not a ‘fact checking exercise’

Adam Bandt

New World Bullies and Media Responsibility

The full attention of the media has moved from the pandemic to Ukraine. It is undoubtedly a concern with diabolical implications for global safety. But it also is a godsend for the media as listeners who had tuned out, weary of hearing about Covid tune in again. Simplistically, it raises media revenue through a higher number of viewers or listeners and associated advertising.

Putin is, according to accounts I have heard, a hell-bent dictator with dated geopolitical aspirations, who’s prepared to go to any length to secure his borders/economic and security interests/wealth. However, I note there is almost no coverage given here to the contribution of western countries to the background of this latest crisis. Are we entirely without blame?

• A buildup in former Soviet Union Satellite states (e.g. Estonia), of troops, weaponry;
• Pontificating on Ukraine developing closer ties with Western allied powers
• Ukraine’s political desires to be part of NATO, an organisation birthed of the desire to keep Russia in check.

Is it naive of me to think that imbalanced media coverage and reporting means we might never move closer to understanding the motives of others with interests diametrically opposed to our own?

Except in Hollywood movies, has anyone ever solved their problems with a schoolyard bully by walking right up to them and poking them repeatedly in the stomach? Or by deliberating dancing around the bully’s enemies or opponents saying we will consider accepting you into our social circle?

Journalists could and must do better to present a balanced perspective to the public. Media sways public opinion. Governments respond to public opinion when it suits them politically and shy away from making hard decisions that will be unpopular with the electorate.

We must discard any, ‘them versus us’ mentality if conflict is to be avoided.

Subduing a bully with force has a history of failing miserably, and ordinary people pay the highest price.

Wisdom and New Year Beginnings -2022

As tempting as it is to recount the highlights of 2021 and the relative freedom we enjoyed in most of Australia; to do that now in the midst of the opening of the Covid floodgates that are occurring, this minute in our country, seems unfeeling and irrelevant.

Australia was lucky – we had our bubble and now we are largely vaccinated, the bubble has burst. It had to happen, but now Australia is about to face what the rest of the world has been experiencing.

Australia’s New Year with Covid-19

Unfortunately, this is another monumental mismanagement fail by a slothful Government. Not enough testing kits, not enough boosters, long testing queues, people turned away from testing clinics, differing state rules.

The question is how long before we return to a normal, again?

Is there a normal to return to?

Blogosphere Brains Trust – Is this what you asked yourself in the past year or so?

As so often holds true, I find comfort in the old wisdoms – the proverbs of older times and their resilience and fortitude. In this case, a Norwegian sage told us:

This can’t go on…

So we continue to look for the silver lining.

Time for a “Me Too,” styled campaign in Australia?

Photo by Shamia Casiano on Pexels.com

I am disappointed that the way women are treated in Australian politics, appears to be regressing. Last week, the Prime Minister interrupted our female Families Minister, when journalists directly asked HER, for HER view, on the sexist culture in Parliament. He interjected and directed debate in the way that would divert attention and benefit him before allowing her to answer the media’s question.

After being interuppted by the PM, this is what the families Minister Anne Ruston finally said when she got to be heard.

“Well, I can only reflect on my own experience since I’ve been in this place since 2012, and I have to say I have always felt wholly supported while I’ve been here,” she said.

Anne Ruston

Is her skirt on fire?

In 2019, he gagged a female Minister, (by his own admission), for tactical reasons and kept her out of the limelight for the duration of the election campaign. She was out of favour. It was best for her not to say too much, or anything really.

Is our leader a misogynistic politician, or a master manipulator and campaign Bull terrier? You tell me.

It seems that when female politicans on one side of politics do get to speak, they know not to say too much. A sideways look from their fearless leader is enough for them to watch their words around the Prime Minister. This is the Prime Minister’s domain. He diverts attention. A sympathetic media does not always highlight his retrograde attititude.

However, the misogynist attitude hasn’t entirely escaped notice. Satirists at the ABC televised this somewhat humourous segment, which could be closer to the truth than any of us would like to believe.

“…they aren’t mansplaining…they are man championing us…” – this weeks @markhumphries & @evanwilliams segment for @abc730 pic.twitter.com/pGpMK3UjRb

— Justin Stevens (@_JustinStevens_) November 12, 2020

Ex Independent politician Tony Windsor had the following tweet:

Another example of how power works against women….

17 yr old harrassed by [former Deputy P.M] Joyce in Canberra pub in ladies Toilet

> Mother is [Prime Minister] Scomo’s LNP blind follower

> Complaint is shut down by Georgie Somerset – Quid pro quo

> Somerset is promoted to ABC TV Board.

> Julie Bishop’s (former Deputy LNP PM)’s brother hi flyer in Clayton Utz [a law firm] > 17 year old Girl now works @ Cl Utz.

> All quiet.

There is a history of Inaction by senior staff and politicians from Tony Windsor:

Abbott (as P.M.) knew …did nothing

Credlin (as female assistant to P.M.) knew ….did nothing

Turnbull (as P.M.) knew …did nothing

Emails exist Morrison (current P.M.) knew ….done nothing

Georgie Somerset knew….got promoted as voice of Australian rural women. ..and the [culture] caravan moves on.

Tony Windsor – Twitter

And now the Four Corners TV program has alleged the Attorney General has been making unwanted advances to female staffers.

A Four Corners investigation reveals concerns about Christian Porter’s attitude towards women, dating back decades. His alleged behaviour includes making unwanted advances to women while in federal office. Mr Porter released a statement denying the claims made against him.

Four Corners

It may NOT even be investigated.

That seems to be a sh*tload of powerful people and politicians, not coming forward to speak out. No doubt there is more of this, on both sides of Australian politics. N.B. Cyranny.

#cleanupyouract

#metoo