“Do you think Frank needs a job?”
“No wonder Lucy doesn’t present well, her clothes are so old-fashioned.”
“You should take more care with your car.“
How often do we hear judgemental comments about others, analysing what folks should or shouldn’t do? These comments or suggestions are often negative and critical in nature.
Making a judgement about someone else effectively puts up a barrier between them and us. So if we stop, or at least aim to reduce, judging and analyzing commentary towards others, we might find communication improves, and we might begin to feel closer.
If we minimize judging and analyzing, the spin off can also be a greater peace of mind for us.
When we complain about other folks, we are actually sabotaging our own peace of mind. This is because we allow ourselves to be disturbed that things are not as they “should be.”
The Taoists say,
“It is possible to appreciate people for their uniqueness – like you might enjoy a certain song. You don’t have to analyse and pull it apart.”
In being more open, flexible and accepting, you let others be the master of their own lives.
PEACE OF MIND CAN COME MORE FROM A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE, THAN A CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES.
Making Mistakes
We learn so much from our mistakes, don’t we?
Therefore, it is sensible to let others make mistakes and not rob them of that learning experience opportunity that might be so valuable to them.
We are also taught, via our education system, to analyse and have an opinion. But it is perfectly okay to have no opinion at all.
Question: –“Do you think Frank should get a job?”
Answer: – “I think Frank should do what he wants.”
Judgement Challenge
This week I will set a challenge for myself and for anyone who cares to join in to:
Spend a week not judging anything or anybody.
When I meet someone who talks about others, complains a lot or doesn’t work, under my breath, I will say something along the lines of:
“I give you the space to experience life as you choose.
It’s not for me to judge you.”
Let’s see if life is a lot easier that way.
Will you join me in trying this?
It doesn’t mean you have to like everybody.
Being less judgemental means you can maintain your own particular preferences in life, but remain more calm in your attitude.
If you are around a complainer, you might choose not to be in their company, but this is coming from a position where it does not feel right for you, rather than open condemnation of their differences.
If you spend your whole life being irritated by others, it is obvious that there is going to be a lot of people who don’t see things your way.
You can wait for people to start thinking like you or you can grant them the right to live their lives the best way they know how.
YOU GRANT THEM THE RIGHT TO LIVE THEIR LIVES THE BEST WAY THEY KNOW HOW.
Unknown
Evaluation
Let’s check back in a week to see how we are doing with this.
StPA
Something to Ponder About 