I am thirteen, and I hate myself. Hating is easy, but love takes courage. Courage I hope to have some day. For now, I just take each day as a gift. That is why they call it the present, a cliched expression says….
But this is not where my story starts, for I am the product of many years where I have cultivated the darker side of my personality. The thoughts, the distorted perceptions don’t flourish overnight; they slowly sneak up, unnoticed, all the while sucking the life out of my soul. Yet they are all of me.
My past haunts me, and is me. I am broken, but this is where I feel safe and whole. I feel in control of my body. Or am I?
“Food is life. And that’s the problem. When you’re alive, people can hurt you. It’s easier to crawl into a bone cage or a snowdrift of confusion. It’s easier to lock everybody out.
But it’s a lie.” ― Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls
People with anorexia have complex problems, and strive for perfection and control that is difficult in an imperfect world. We all are imperfect, in many ways, we all fail, yet everyone still has a rite to be here and to be accepted without expectations.
Beauty is not just how you look on the outside. Can you make the world a better place? Can you make people feel good about themselves? Can you help others? People like this are 100 times more beautiful than the cover girl on the fashion magazine. Inner beauty never needs makeup, or fad diets, or a stick thin body.
As Steve Maroboli writes:
“Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.”
Hating is easy, but love takes courage. Courage I hope to have some day. For now, I have to take each day as a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Something to Ponder About